12. THANK GOODNESS
CITIZENS OF OZ
Ev’ry day, more wicked!
Ev’ry day, the terror grows!
All of Oz is ever on alert!
That’s the way with Wicked –
Spreading fear where e’er she goes
Seeking out new victims she can hurt!
A HYSTERICAL WOMAN
Like some terrible green blizzard
Throughout the land she flies…
AN OUTRAGED MAN
Defaming our poor Wizard
With her calumnies and lies!
ALL
She lies!
Save us from the Wicked!
Shield us so we won’t be hexed!
Give us warning:
Where will she strike next?
Where will she strike next?
Where will she strike next!?
GLINDA
Fellow Ozians – as terrifying as terror is, let us put aside our panic for this one day: and celebrate!
Oh what a celebration
We’ll have today
CROWD
Thank Goodness!
GLINDA
Let’s have a celebration
The Glinda way!
CROWD
Thank Goodness!
MORRIBLE
Fin’lly a day that’s
Totally Wicked-Witch free!
CROWD
We couldn’t be happier
Thank Goodness!
GLINDA
Yes –
We couldn’t be happier,
Right, dear?
Couldn’t be happier
Right here
Look what we’ve got
A fairy-tale plot
Our very own happy ending
Where we couldn’t be happier –
True, dear?
Couldn’t be happier
And we’re happy to share
Our ending vicariously
With all of you
He couldn’t look handsomer
I couldn’t feel humbler
We couldn’t be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true!
MORRIBLE
And Glinda dear, we’re happy for you! As Press Secretary, I have striven to ensure that all of Oz knows the story of your braverism:
The day you were first summoned
To an audience with Oz
And although he would not tell you why initially
When you bowed before his throne
He decreed you’d hence be known
As Glinda the Good – officially!
Then with a jealous squeal
The Wicked Witch burst from concealment
Where she had been lurking -surrpetitially!
PEOPLE IN CROWD
I hear she has an extra eye
That always remains awake
I hear that she can shed her skin
As easily as a snake!
I hear some rebel Animals
Are giving her food and shelter!
I hear her soul is so unclean
Pure water can melt her!
FIYERO
What!?
CROWD
Melt her!?
Please – somebody go and melt her!
FIYERO
Do you hear that – water will melt her?! People are so empty-headed, they’ll believe anything!
GLINDA
Fiyero! Oh – yes, thanks plenty, dearest! He’s gone to fetch me a refreshment. He’s so thoughtful that way!
That’s why I couldn’t be happier
No, I couldn’t be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn’t be happier
Simply couldn’t be happier
Well – not “simply”:
‘Cause getting your dreams
It’s strange, but it seems
A little – well – complicated
There’s a kind of a sort of : cost
There’s a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn’t know you crossed
Until you’ve crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn’t thrill you like you think it will
Still –
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who
Wouldn’t be happier?
So I couldn’t be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn’t it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!
CROWD
We love you, Glinda, if we may be so frank
GLINDA
Thank Goodness!
CROWD
For all this joy, we know who we’ve got to thank:
Thank Goodness!
That means the Wizard, Glinda:
GLINDA
And fiance!
CROWD
They couldn’t be goodlier
She couldn’t be lovelier
We couldn’t be luckier
GLINDA
I couldn’t be happier
CROWD
Thank Goodness
GLINDA AND CROWD
Today!
Thank Goodness for today!
13. WONDERFUL
WIZARD
I never asked for this
Or planned it in advance
I was merely blown here
By the winds of chance
I never saw myself
As a Solomon or Socrates
I knew who I was:
One of your dime a dozen
Mediocrities
Then suddenly I’m here
Respected – worshipped, even
Just because the folks in Oz
Needed someone to believe in
Does it surprise you
I got hooked, and all too soon?
What can I say?
I got carried away
And not just by balloon…
Wonderful
They called me “Wonderful”
So I said “Wonderful” – if you insist
I will be “Wonderful”
And they said “Wonderful”
Believe me, it’s hard to resist
‘Cause it feels wonderful
They think I’m wonderful
Hey, look who’s wonderful –
This corn-fed hick
Who said: “It might be keen
To build a town of green
And a wonderful road of yellow brick!”
See – I never had a family of my own. So, I guess I just – wanted to give the citizens of Oz everything.
ELPHABA
So you lied to them.
WIZARD
Elphaba, where I’m from, we believe all sorts of things that aren’t true. We call it – “history.”
A man’s called a traitor – or liberator
A rich man’s a thief – or philanthropist
Is one a crusader – or ruthless invader?
It’s all in which label
Is able to persist
There are precious few at ease
With moral ambiguities
So we act as though they don’t exist
They call me “Wonderful”
So I am wonderful
In fact – it’s so much who I am
It’s part of my name
And with my help, you can be the same
At long, long last receive your due
Long overdue
Elphaba – The most celebrated
Are the rehabilitated
There’ll be such a – whoop-de-doo
A celebration throughout Oz
That’s all to do – with you
Wonderful
They’ll call you wonderful…
ELPHABA
It does sound wonderful…
WIZARD
Trust me – it’s fun
BOTH
When you are wonderful
It would be wonderful?
Wonderful, wonderful
WIZARD
One! Two! And:
(they dance)
14. I’M NOT THAT GIRL (reprise)
GLINDA
Don’t wish, don’t start
Wishing only wounds the heart:
There’s a girl I know
He loves her so
I’m not that girl
15. AS LONG AS YOU’RE MINE
ELPHABA
Kiss me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
I need help believing
You’re with me tonight
My wildest dreams
Could not foresee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me
Just for this moment
As long as you’re mine
I’ve lost all resistance
And crossed some borderline
And if it turns out
It’s over too fast
I’ll make ev’ry last moment last
As long as you’re mine…
FIYERO
Maybe I’m brainless
Maybe I’m wise
But you’ve got me seeing
Through different eyes
Somehow I’ve fallen
Under your spell
And somehow I’m feeling
It’s ‘up’ that I fell…
BOTH
Every moment
As long as you’re mine
I’ll wake up my body
And make up for lost time
FIYERO
Say there’s no future
For us as a pair
BOTH
And though I may know
I don’t care!
Just for this moment
As long as you’re mine
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight
Until it is through
And know I’ll be here holding you
As long as you’re mine
FIYERO
What is it?
ELPHABA
It’s just… for the first time, I feel … wicked!
16. NO GOOD DEED
ELPHABA
Fiyero!
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen
Let his flesh not be torn
Let his blood leave no stain
Though they beat him
Let him feel no pain
Let his bones never break
And however they try
To destroy him
Let him never die
Let him never die…
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka: eleka:
What good is this chanting?
I don’t even know what I’m reading!
I don’t even know which trick I ought to try
Fiyero, where are you?
Already dead, or bleeding?
One more disaster I can add to my
Generous supply?
No good deed goes unpunished
No act of charity goes unresented
No good deed goes unpunished
That’s my new creed
My road of good intentions
Led where such roads always lead
No good deed
Goes unpunished!
Nessa…
Doctor Dillamond…
Fiyero…
Fiyero!!
One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention:
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that’s all good deeds are
Maybe that’s the reason why
No good deed goes unpunished
All helpful urges should be circumvented
No good deed goes unpunished
Sure, I meant well –
Well, look at what well-meant did:
All right, enough – so be it
So be it, then:
Let all Oz be agreed
I’m wicked through and through
Since I can not succeed
Fiyero, saving you
I promise no good deed
Will I attempt to do again
Ever again
No good deed
Will I do again!
17. MARCH OF THE WITCH HUNTERS
OZIANS
Go and hunt her
And find her
And kill her
VICIOUS WOMAN
Good fortune, Witch Hunters!
OZIANS
Go and hunt her
And find her
And kill her
RABID MAN
Kill the Witch!
OZIANS
Wickedness must be punished
Evil effectively eliminated
Wickedness must be punished
Kill the Witch!
TINMAN
And this is more than just a service to the Wizard. I have a personal score to settle with Elph… with The Witch!
It’s due to her I’m made of tin
Her spell made this occur
So for once I’m glad I’m heartless
I’ll be heartless killing her!
And the lion also
Has a grievance to repay
If she’d let him fight his own battles
When he was young
He wouldn’t be a coward today!
CROWD
Kill her! Kill the witch!
ALL
Wickedness must be punished
Brave Witch-Hunters, I would join you if I could
Because Wickedness must be punished
Punished
Punished
But good!
18. FOR GOOD
ELPHABA
I’m limited:
Just look at me – I’m limited
And just look at you –
You can do all I couldn’t do, Glinda
So now it’s up to you
For both of us
Now it’s up to you…
GLINDA
I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you…
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You’ll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you…
GLINDA
Because I knew you…
BOTHI have been changed for good
ELPHABA
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I’ve done you blame me for
GLINDA
But then, I guess we know
There’s blame to share
BOTH
And none of it seems to matter anymore
GLINDA Like a comet pulled From orbit as it Passes a sun, like A stream that meets A boulder, half-way Through the wood |
 | ELPHABA Like a ship blown Off it’s mooring By a wind off the Sea, like a seed Dropped by a Bird in the wood |
BOTH
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better
GLINDA
And because I knew you…
ELPHABA
Because I knew you…
BOTH
Because I knew you…
I have been changed for good.
19. FINALE
CELEBRANTS
No one mourns the Wicked
Now at last she’s dead and gone
Now at last there’s joy throughout the land
ALL
Good news!
Good news…
GLINDA
Who can say if I’ve been
Changed for the better
But…
ELPHABA AND GLINDA
Because I knew you…
CROWD
No one mourns the Wicked:
GLINDA
Because I knew you…
ELPHABA AND GLINDA
I have been changed
CROWD
No one mourns the Wicked
Wicked
Wicked!