Don’t Be the Bunny – Urinetown

From the Original Cast Recording

Act One

The musical opens with the entrance of Officer Lockstock, a tough-talking

beat cop who doubles as the play’s narrator. Apologizing for the fact that

the show opens with Too Much Exposition, Lockstock explains how a

terrible water shortage has crippled the Gotham-like city he serves, forcing

the government to outlaw practices which might otherwise waste the precious

resource. With the help of the street urchin Little Sally, Lockstock goes on to

explain that to conserve water, the citizenry must now use the public, pay-per-use

amenities owned and operated by Urine Good Company – a private corporation to

which the government has assigned this public utility. Citizens who try to

circumvent the peeing fee by going in the bushes or some other such place risk

severe punishment. Offenders, Lockstock sings, are sent to Urinetown,

a mysterious place where many have been sent but from whence no one ever returns.

Early morning at the poorest, filthiest urinal in town. Old Man Strong, a poor man,

argues with the urinal manager, Penelope Pennywise (also known as Penny).

He doesn’t have enough money for the peeing fee this morning, and with a crowd of

customers behind him clamouring for their turn, he asks Penny to give him

a break. Penny refuses, explaining It’s a Privelege to Pee. Old Man Strong

appeals to his son, Bobby Strong, who serves as Penny’s assistant. The law is the

law, however, and Bobby finds himself powerless to contradict it. Unable to

contain himself any longer, Old Man Strong relieves himself right there on

the pavement. Officers Lockstock and Barrel enter and arrest Old Man Strong,

hauling him off to Urinetown.

Meanwhile, at the corporate headquarters of the Urine Good Company, Caldwell B.

Cladwell, the evil president of the urinal monopoly, discusses the timing of

the next round of fee hikes with Senator Fipp, a corrupt politician who fears

the effects Cladwell’s price gouging will have on the populace. Their discussion

is interrupted by the return of Hope Cladwell, Caldwell’s sweet-hearted

daughter, just home from The Most Expensive University in the World. Cladwell

introduces Hope to his staff, welcoming her as the newest employee of the

corporation. Taking a moment to bask in the wealth and power they’ve accumulated,

the staff praises Mr. Cladwell even as Cladwell praises himself.

Later that day, having disposed of the troublesome Old Man Strong, Officers

Lockstock and Barrel share in a Cop Song to discuss the horrors the

trip down to Urinetown entails. Hope arrives on her way home from her first

day at the office, and then Bobby joins them, having closed his shift after

the late-night rush. After a few words of advice about suspicious appearances,

the cops leave the kids to get to know each other. Tormented by his father’s recent

arrest, Bobby asks the beautiful newcomer for guidance. Hope tells Bobby to

Follow Your Heart.

Arriving for work the next morning, Bobby is confronted with news of the latest

round of Cladwell’s fee hikes. Penny shouts down the protests of her customers

(now unable to meet the required fee), commanding them to pony up or step aside.

Bobby’s mother, also short the required cash, stands before Bobby asking if she’ll

be turned away, too. Still tormented over having stood by while his father was taken

to Urinetown, and emboldened by Hope’s words of optimism, Bobby seizes the moment

and opens the amenity for the people to pee for free. As Bobby rallies the poor,

joyously telling them to Look At the Sky, Penny warns Bobby that he –

and everyone – will surely pay for what he’s done.

Back at Urine Good Company headquarters, Cladwell learns of Bobby’s insurrection at the

urinal. Don’t Be the Bunny, he instructs Hope, as he waves aside her concern

for the rabbit-like masses. Vowing dire consequences for Bobby and the rebels,

he and the police head to the urinal to suppress the uprising.

Once at the urinal, Cladwell orders the cops to bust heads, but not before

Bobby can initiate the obligatory Act One Finale. Hope realizes her

words mistakenly inspired Bobby to start a revolution. Bobby realizes Hope

is a Cladwell, and the poor realize they’re no match for Cladwell’s cops; so

Bobby kidnaps Hope to allow the rabble to escape the punishment promised

by Cladwell.

Act Two

As the new act begins, Hope is tied to a chair at the underground secret

hideout of the Rebel Poor, Cladwell is on the move demanding his daughter’s

recapture, Bobby is making his way through the city with his mother spreading

word of the coming Revolution and Little Sally barely evades capture by Officer

Lockstock as all ask What is Urinetown?

Hungry for payback and certain that it’s only a matter of time before they’re

all capture and sent to Urinetown, Hot Blades Harry and Little Becky Two Shoes

insist that the rebel poor Snuff That Girl. Bobby enters, horrified at

how vengeful the poor have become. He tries to cheer them with more positive

thoughts, singing of the steady road to social equality in Run, Freedom, Run!

Penny arrives with a message: Cladwell is prepared to consider the rebels’ demands,

he wants to meet with Bobby. Bobby agrees.

At Urine Good Company headquarters, Bobby and Penny arrive to negotiate a

settlement to the standoff. Bobby wants to trade Hope’s safe release for a

total revocation of Cladwell’s cruel and oppressive peeing fees. Cladwell

refuses, offering instead a large cash bribe to Bobby if he’ll convince the

rebels to return to the established order. Bobby refuses, so Cladwell orders

Bobby’s arrest, commanding Officers Lockstock and Barrel to take the troublemaker

away to Urinetown. Penny, desperate to protect Hpe, reminds Cladwell that this

double-cross could mean certain death for his daughter. Cladwell, ever cold-hearted

and power-obsessed, dismisses the danger and orders the expulsion anyway. In

spite of her loyalty to UGC, Penny can hardly believe the depth of Cladwell’s

evil. She wonders, Why Did I Listen to That Man? Subsequently, Senator

Fipp, Hope and Bobby ask the same question as they ponder their fate at Cladwell’s

hands. At the same time, Officers Lockstock and Barrel hustle Bobby off to his

doom – a long fall off the roof of UGC headquarters. Bobby realizes too late that

there is no Urinetown after all. Execution, not exile, has been the fate of those

brave enough – or desperate enough – to break the town’s strict peeing laws.

Back at rebel headquarters, Little Sally recounts Bobby’s longing last words

for Hope in Tell Her I Love Her. The poor are at first grieved by

Bobby’s death, then filled with lust for revenge. As they prepare to do away

with Hope, Penny stops them, shocking everyone with the revelation that she

is Hope’s mother. Hope, deeply moved by this news and disgusted by her father’s

betrayal, convinces the rebels to let her help them overthrow the despicable

Caldwell B. Cladwell.

Under Hope’s protection, the rebels sing how We’re Not Sorry, nor are

their enemies, as they make their way through the shattered streets to the

headquartes where Cladwell directs the continuing crackdown. Suddenly

outnumbered in his lair, Cladwell and his henchmen are overthrown in a stunning

coup. Cladwell is led away to his own trip off the roof of the UGC headquarters

rooftop, but not before Penny and Cladwell confess their sorrow – or lack

thereof – for the lives they lef in a We’re Not Sorry – Reprise.

With the blessing of the battle-weary population, Hope takes control of the

monopoly, opening all the amenities to all the people, to pee for free whenever

they like, for as long as they like. She sings of the better world she envisions

in I See a River. Her utopia is short-lived, however. Officer Lockstock

enters as he did at the beginning of the show to explain that Hope’s idealism

depleted all the water reserves. As evil as Caldwell B. Cladwell was, he had

actually effectively rationed the water resources.

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