(As he disappears, lights come up on the eating garden. It is early evening. The garden is deserted. MRS. LOVETT is sitting on the steps knitting a half-finished muffler. The bells of St. Dunstan’s sound. After a beat, TOBIAS emerges from the shop with a “Sold Out” sign, puts it on the shop door, and goes to MRS. LOVETT)
TOBIAS: I put the sold-out sign up, ma’am.
MRS. LOVETT: That’s my boy.
(Holding up the knitting)
Look, dear! A lovely muffler and guess who it’s for.
TOBIAS: Coo, ma’am. For me?
MRS. LOVETT: Wouldn’t you like to know!
TOBIAS: Oh, you’re so good to me, ma’am. Sometimes,
when I think what it was like with Signer PIRELLI — it
seems like the Good Lord sent you for me.
MRS. LOVETT: It’s just my warm heart, dear. Room enough
there for all God’s creatures.
TOBIAS (Coming closer, hwenng, very earnest): You know, ma’am, — there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. ,If there was a monster or an ogre or anything bad like that wot was after you, I’d rip it apart with my bare fists, I would.
MRS. LOVETT: What a sweet child it is.
TOBIAS: Or even if it was just a man
MRS. LOVETT (Somewhat uneasy) A man, dear?
TOBIAS (Exaggeratedly conspiratorial): A man wot was bad and wot might be luring you all unbeknownst into his evil deeds, like.
MRS. LOVETT (Even more wary): What is this? What are you talking about?
TOBIAS (Sings):
Nothing’s gonna harm you,
Not while I’m around.
MRS. LOVETT: Of course not, dear, and why should it?
TOBIAS:
Nothing’s gonna harm you,
No, sir,
Not while I’m around.
MRS. LOVETT: What do you mean, “a man”?
TOBIAS:
Demons are prowling
Everywhere
Nowadays.
MRS. LOVETT (Somewhat relieved, patting his head): And so they are, dear.
TOBIAS:
I’ll send ’em howling,
I don’t care —
I got ways.
MRS. LOVETT: Of course you do … What a sweet, affectionate child it is.
TOBIAS:
No one’s gonna hurt you,
No one’s gonna dare.
MRS. LOVETT: I know what Toby deserves …
TOBIAS:
Others can desert you —
Not to worry —
Whistle, I’ll be there.
MRS. LOVETT: Here, have a nice bon-bon. (Starts to reach for her purse, but TOBIAS stays her hand in adoration)
TOBIAS:
Demons’ll charm you
With a smile
For a while,
But in dme
Nothing can harm you,
Not while I’m around.
(Music continues)
MRS. LOVETT: What is this foolishness? What’re you talking about?
TOBIAS: Little things wot I’ve been thinking and wondering about . . . It’s him, you see — Mr. TODD. Oh, I know you fancy him, but men ain’t like women, they ain’t wot you can .trust, as I’ve lived and learned. (She looks at him uneasily)
Not to worry, not to worry,
I may not be smart but I ain’t dumb.
I can do it,
Put me to it,
Show me something I can overcome.
Not to worry, mum.
Being close and being clever
Ain’t like being true.
I don’t need to, I won’t never
Hide a thing from you,
Like some.
(Music continues under)
MRS. LOVETT: Now Toby dear, haven’t we had enough foolish chatter? Let’s just sit nice and quiet for a bit. Here. (She pulls out the chatelaine purse, which is now immediately recognizable to the audience as PIRELLI’s money purse, and starts to fumble in it for a bon-bon)
TOBIAS (Suddenly exited, pointing): That! That’s Signor PIRELLI’s purse! (MRS. LOVETT, realizing her slip, quickly hides it)
MRS. LOVETT (Stalling for time): What’s that? What was that, dear?
TOBIAS: That proves it! What I’ve been thinking. That’s his purse.
MRS. LOVETT (Concealing what is now almost panic): Silly boy! It’s just a silly little something Mr. T. gave me for my birthday.
TOBIAS: Mr. TODD gave it to you! And how did he get it? How did he get it?
MRS. LOVETT: Bought it, dear. In the pawnshop, dear. (To distract him, she lifts the unfinished muffler on its needles) Come on now.
(Sings)
Nothing’s gonna harm you,
Not while I’m around!
Nothing’s gonna harm you, Toby,
Not while I’m around.
TOBIAS: You don’t understand.
(Sings)
Two quid was in it,
Two or three —
(Speaks, music continuing)
The guvnor giving up his purse — with two quid?
(Sings)
Not for a minute!
Don’t you see?
(Speaks, music under)
It was in Mr. TODD’s parlor that the guvnor disappeared. MRS. LOVETT (With a weak laugh): Boys and their fancies! What will we think of next! Here, dear. Sit here by your Aunt Nellie like a good boy and look at your lovely muffler. How warm it’s going to keep you when the days draw in. And it’s so becoming on you.
TOBIAS (Sings):
Demons’11 charm you
With a smile
For a while,
But in time
Nothing’s gonna harm you,
Not while I’m around!
MRS. LOVETT: You know, dear, it’s the strangest thing you coming to chat with me right now of all moments because as I was sitting here with my needles, I was thinking: “What a good boy Toby is! So hard working, so obedient.” And I thought. . . know how you’ve always fancied coming into the bakehouse with me to help bake the pies?
TOBIAS (For the first time distracted): Oh yes, ma’am. Indeed, ma’am. Yes.
MRS. LOVETT: Well, how about it?
TOBIAS: You mean it? I can help make ’em and bake ‘cm? (MRS. LOVETT kisses him again and, rising, starts drawing him back toward the pie-shop)
MRS. LOVETT: No time like the present, is there? (She leads him through thepie-shop into the bakehouse)
TOBIAS (Looking around): Coo, quite a stink, ain’t there?
MRS. LOVETT (Indicating the trap door): Them steps go down to the old cellars and the whiffs come up, love. God knows what’s down there — so moldy and dark. And there’s always a couple of rats gone home to Jesus. (She leads him across to the ovens) Now the bake ovens is here. (She opens the oven doors. A red glow illuminates the stage)
TOBIAS: They’re big enough, ain’t they?
MRS. LOVETT: Hardly big enough to bake all the pies we sell. Ten dozen at a time. Always be sure to close the doors properly, like this. {Closes doors. Draws him to the butcher’s-block table) Now here’s the grinder. (She turns its handle, indicating how it operates) You see, you pop meat in and you grind it and it comes out here. (Indicates the mouth of the grinder) And you know the secret that makes the pies so sweet and tender? Three times. You must put the meat through the grinder three times.
TOBIAS: Three times, eh?
MRS. LOVETT: That’s my boy. Smoothly, smoothly. And as soon as a new batch of meat comes in, we’ll put you to work. (She starts/or the door back into the pie-shop)
TOBIAS (Blissful): Me making pies all on me own! Coo!
(Noticing her leaving)
Where are you going, ma’am?
MRS. LOVETT: Back in a moment, dear.
(At the door she turns, blows him a kiss and then goes into the pie-shop, slamming the door behind her and locking it, putting the key in her pocket. TOBIAS, too fascinated to realize he has been locked in, starts happily turning the handle of the grinder)
TOBIAS: Smoothly does it, smoothly, smoothly…
(As he grinds and MRS. LOVETT appears at the foot of the stairs to the tonsorial parlor, unseen by her the BEADLE enters the back parlor)
BEADLE: Mrs. Lovett! Mrs. Lovett!
MRS. LOVETT (Climbing the stairs, looking for TODD): Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd!
BEADLE (Notices the harmonium, sits down, and sings from a song book, accompanying himself):
Sweet Polly Plunkett lay in the grass,
Turned her eyes heavenward, sighing,
“I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas has a lass in Canterbury.
‘Tis a row dow diddle dow day,
‘Tis a row dow diddle dow dee …”
MRS. LOVETT (Enters, clapping): Oh, beadle Bamford, I didn’t know you were a music lover, too.
BEADLE (Not rising): Good afternoon, Mrs. Lovett. Fine instrument you’ve acquired.
MRS. LOVETT: Oh yes, it’s my pride and joy.
BEADLE (Sings, as she watches him uneasily):
Sweet Polly Plunkett saw her life pass,
Flew down the city road, crying,
“I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas has a lass loves another lad
Who once I had
In Canterbury.
‘Tis a row dow diddle dow day,
‘Tis a row dow diddle dow dee …”
(He speaks, leafing through the pages)
Well, ma’am, I hope you have a few moments, for I’m here today on official business.
MRS. LOVETT: Official?
BEADLE: That’s it, ma’am. You see, there’s been complaints —
MRS. LOVETT: Complaints?
BEADLE: About the stink from your chimney. They say at night it’s something foul. Health regulations being my duty, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to let me take a look.
MRS. LOVETT (Hiding extreme anxiety): At the bakehouse?
BEADLE: That’s right, ma’am.
MRS. LOVETT (Improvising wildly): But, it’s locked and . . . and I don’t have the key. It’s Mr. TODD upstairs — he’s got the key and he’s not here right now.
BEADLE: When will he be back?
MRS. LOVETT: Couldn’t say, I’m sure.
BEADLE (Finds a particular song): Ah, one of mother’s favorites . ..
(Sings)
If one bell rings in the Tower of Bray,
Ding dong, your true love will stay.
Ding dong, one bell today
In the Tower of Bray…
Ding dong!
TOBIAS (Joining in from the bakehouse):
One bell today in the Tower of Bray …
Ding dong!
BEADLE (Stops playing): What’s that?
MRS. LOVETT: Oh, just my boy — the lad that helps me with
the pies.
BEADLE: But surely he’s in the bakehouse, isn’t he?
MRS. LOVETT (Almost beside herself): Oh yes, yes, of course. But you see … he’s — well, simple in the head. Last week he run off and we found him two days later down by the embankment half-starved, poor thing. So ever since then, we locks him in for his own security.
BEADLE: Then we’ll have to wait for Mr. TODD, won’t we?
(Sings)
But if two bells ring in the Tower of Bray,
Ding dong, ding dong, your true love will stray.
Ding dong —
(Speaks)
Since you’re a fellow music lover, ma’am, why don’t you raise your voice along with mine?
MRS. LOVETT: All right.
BEADLE (Sings):
If three bells ring in the Tower of Bray …
Ding dong!
MRS. LOVETT (Another “inspiration”): Oh yes, of course! Mr. Todd’s gone down to Wapping. Won’t be back for hours. And he’ll be ever so sorry to miss you. Why, just the other day he was saying, “If only the BEADLE would grace my tonsorial parlor I’d give him a most stylish haircut, the daintiest shave — all for nothing.” So why don’t you drop in some other time and take advantage of his offer?
BEADLE: Well, that’s real friendly of him. (Immovable, he starts to sing another verse) If four bells ring in the Tower of—
MRS. LOVETT: Just how many bells are there?
BEADLE: Twelve.
(Resumes singing)
Ding dong!
MRS. LOVETT (Resigned):
Ding dong!
TOBIAS:
Ding dong!
BEADLE:
Ding dong!
BEADLE, MRS. LOVETT and TOBIAS:
Then lovers must pray! … (During this, TODD enters, reacts on seeing the BEADLE)
MRS. LOVETT (With a huge smile of relief): Back already! Look who’s here, Mr. T. on some foolish complaint about the bakehouse or something. He wants the key and I told him you had it. But… (Coquettishly, to BEADLE) there’s no hurry, is there, sir? Why don’t you run upstairs with Mr. TODD and let him fix you up nice and pretty — there’ll be plenty of time for the bakehouse later.
BEADLE (Considering): Well . . . tell me, Mr. Todd, do you pomade the hair? I dearly love a pomaded head.
MRS. LOVETT: Pomade? Of course! And a nice facial rub with bay rum too. All for free!
BEADLE (To TODD) : Well, sir, I take that very kindly
TODD (Bowing to the BEADLE) : I am, sir, entirely at your — disposal. (The two men exit. MRS. LOVETT hesitates, then speaks)
MRS. LOVETT: Let’s hope he can do it quietly. But just to be on the safe side, I’ll provide a little musical send-off. (She goes to the harmonium, sits down on the stool and starts playing and singing a loud verse of “Polly Plunkett” which continues distantly during the following. In the bakehouse, TOBIAS stands by the grinding machine eating a pie. He feels something on his tongue, puts a finger in his mouth and pulls the something out, holding it up for inspection).
TOBIAS: An ‘air! Black as a rook. Now that ain’t Mrs. Lovett’s
‘air. Oh, well, some old black cow probably. (He continues to eat. He bites on something else, takes it out of his mouth, looks at it) Coo, bit of fingernail! Clumsy. Ugh! (He drops the pie. Bored, he starts around the room, inspecting. He peers at an unidentifiable hole in the wall — the chute. He is baffled by it. As he does so, we hear a strange, shambling, shuffling sound as if a heavy object is falling inside the wall. TOBIAS spins around just as the bloody body of the BEADLE comes trundling out of the mouth of the chute. TOBIAS screams)
No! Oh no! (He dashes to the door, tries the handle; it is locked. He starts beating on it) Mrs. Lovett! Mrs. Lovett! Let me out! Let me out! (Wildly he tries to break down the door. It is too solid for him. Whimpering, he stands paralyzed. Then he sees the open trap door leading to the cellar steps. He runs and disappears down them. In the parlor, MRS. LOVETT continues to sing and play. After a suitable period, she stops)
MRS. LOVETT:
With a row dow diddle dow day.
(As she gets up from the harmonium, TODD hurries in)
TODD: It’s done.
MRS. LOVETT: Not yet it isn’t! The boy, he’s guessed.
TODD: Guessed what?
MRS. LOVETT: About PIRELLI. Since you weren’t here, I locked him in the bakehouse. He’s been yelling to wake the dead. We’ve got to look after him.
TODD (Fiercely): But the JUDGE is coming. I’ve arranged it.
MRS. LOVETT: You — worrying about the bloody JUDGE at a time like this! (Grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the door) Come on. (The scene blacks out. Members of the company appear and sing)
COMPANY (Variously):
The engine roared, the motor hissed,
And who could see how the road would twist?
In Sweeney’s ledger the entries matched:
A beadle arrived, and a beadle dispatched
To satisfy the hungry god
Of Sweeney TODD,
ALL:
The Demon Barber of Fleet. ..
Street.
Sweeney! Sweeney!
Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!
Sweeney!
Sweeeeeneeeeey!
(And as they sing the name, they transform themselves into the inmates of Fogg’s Asylum, which is now revealed: a huge stone wall and a heavy iron door. Behind the wall, the ragged inmates are crawling, lolling, capering, giggling, shrieking. In the center of them sits JOHANNA, her long yellow hair tumbling about her)
INMATES (Intoning, chattering, screaming):
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeneeeeeeeeeeeeey…
Sweeneysweeneysweeneysweeney. ..
(These moans and humming noises continue under the following, occasionally interrupted by little mad birdlike outbursts of song. Mr. Fogg enters with ANTHONY in his wigmaker’s disguise. He carries a huge pair of scissors. Behind them is the asylum wall)
FOGG: Just this way, sir.
ANTHONY: You do me honor, Mr. Fogg.
FOGG: I agree it would be to our mutual interest to come to
some arrangement in regard to my poor children’s hair.
ANTHONY: Your—children?
FOGG: We are one happy family here, sir, and all my patients are my children, to be corrected when they’re naughty, and rewarded with a sweetie when they’re good. But to our business. (As they enter the inside of the asylum, lights come up behind the scrim wall revealing the shadows of the inmates. Mr. Fogg, as in a shadow play, grabs one female by the hair, pulling her head up for ANTHONY’s inspection) Here is a charming yellow, a little dull in tone perhaps, but you can soon restore its natural gleam. (He drops the head, moves to a man and grabs his head up by the hair) Now here! A fine texture for a man and, as you must know, sir, there is always a discount on the hair of a male. (ANTHONY has been looking around and has spotted JOHANNA)
ANTHONY: This one here has hair the shade I seek.
FOGG: Poor child. She needs so much correction. She sings all day and night and leaves the other inmates sleepless. (He goes to JOHANNA and tugs her, indignantly struggling, across the floor toward ANTHONY, by the hair)
Come, child. Smile for the gentleman and you shall have a sweetie. (He brandishes the scissors) Now, where shall I cut?
JOHANNA (Sees ANTHONY): Anthony!
ANTHONY: Johanna!
FOGG: What is this? What is this?
ANTHONY (Drawing his pistol): Unhand her!
FOGG: Why you — ! (Clutching the scissors, he moves resolutely toward ANTHONY. ANTHONY backs away a few steps, but fogg keeps coming)
ANTHONY: Stop, Mr. Fogg, or I’ll fire.
FOGG: Fire, and I will stop.
ANTHONY. I cannot shoot.
(Losing his nerve, ANTHONY drops the gun which Johanna catches in mid-air. Fogg moves toward ANTHONY, raising the scissors. JOHANNA, holding the gun with both hands, shoots Fogg, who falls. She drops the gun and together she and ANTHONY run out. Compelled by the energy released by Fogg ‘s death, the lunatics tear down the wall and rush out of the asylum, spilling with euphoric excitement onto the street)
LUNATICS (In three contrapuntal groups):
City on fire!
Rats in the grass
And the lunatics yelling in the streets!
It’s the end of the world! Yes!
City on fire!
Hunchbacks dancing!
Stirrings in the ground
And the whirring of giant wings!
Watch out!
Look!
Blotting out the moonlight,
Thick black rain falling on the
City on fire!
City on fire!
City on fire!
(During this, police whistles sound. ANTHONY and Johanna are still visible hurrying away, ANTHONY systematically disposing of the wigmaker’s costume, tossing the hat off here, the cloak off there, etc. Throughout, JOHANNA is excited and chatty. At one point, ANTHONY stops briefly to reconnoiter nervously)
JOHANNA:
Will we be married on Sunday?
That’s what you promised,
Married on Sunday!
(Pensively)
That was last August.. .
(He looks at her unbelievingly)
Kiss me!
(He drags her off as the lunatics reappear, this time in two groups)
LUNATICS:
City on fire!
Rats in the streets
And the lunatics yelling at the moon!
It’s the end of the world! Yes!
City on fire!
Hunchbacks kissing!
Stirrings in the graves
And the screaming of giant winds!
Watch out! Look!
Crawling on the chimneys,
Great black crows screeching at the
City on fire!
City on fire!
City on fire!
(As they run off, lights come up on the bakehouse. TODD, holding a lantern, and MRS. LOVETT enter, looking around for TOBIAS)
MRS. LOVETT (Sings):
Toby!
Where are you, love?
TODD:
Toby!
Where are you, lad?
MRS. LOVETT:
Nothing’s gonna harm you . . .
TODD:
Toby!
MRS. LOVETT:
Not while I’m around …
TODD (Opening trap door, peering down):
Toby!
MRS. LOVETT:
Where are you hiding?
Nothing’s gonna harm you,
Darling . . .
TODD:
Nothing to be afraid of, boy…
(Closes the trap door, peers into the darkness)
MRS. LOVETT:
Not while I’m around.
TODD:
Toby…
MRS. LOVETT (She and TODD move upstage, where their voices echo):
Demons are prowling everywhere
Nowadays …
TODD:
Toby…
(They wander off as the lunatics run on)
LUNATICS:
City on fire!
Rats in the streets
And the lunatics yelling at the moon!
It’s the end of the world! Yes!
(Lights go down on them and come up on the beggar woman, peering off through the darkness as if at the pie-shop)
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Beadle! … Beadle! . . .
No good hiding, I saw you!
Are you in there still,
Beadle? … Beadle? …
Get her, but watch it!
She’s a wicked one, she’ll deceive you
With her fancy gowns
And her fancy airs
And her —
(Suddenly shrieking)
Mischief! Mischief!
Devil’s work!
(Quietly calling again)
Where are you, Beadle?
Beadle …
(As she shuffles off toward the pie-shop, lights dim on her and come up on the lunatics)
LUNATICS:
City on fire!
Rats in the streets
And the lunatics yelling at the moon!
It’s the end of the world! Good!
City on fire!
Hunchbacks kissing!
Stirrings in the graves
And the screaming of giant winds!
Watch out! Look!
Crawling on the chimneys,
Great black crows screeching at the
City on fire! . ..
(Light comes up on the tonsorial parlor. It is empty for a moment, then ANTHONY and JOHANNA, who is now dressed in a sailor’s uniform, enter; music under)
ANTHONY: Mr. TODD?
JOHANNA: No one here. Where is this Mr. TODD?
ANTHONY: No matter. He’ll be back in a moment, for I trust him as I trust my right arm. Wait for him here — I’ll return with the coach in less than half an hour.
JOHANNA: But they are after us still. What if they trace us here? Oh, Anthony, please let me come with you.
ANTHONY; No, my darling, there is no safety for you on the street.
JOHANNA: But dressed in these sailor’s clothes, who’s to know it is I?
ANTHONY: No, the risk is too great. (As she turns away pouting, he sings)
Ah, miss,
Look at me, look at me, miss, oh,
Look at me please, oh,
Favor me, favor me with your glance.
Ah, miss,
Soon we’ll be, soon we’ll be gone
And sailing the seas
And happily, happily wed
In France.
(She looks at him and smiles)
both:
And we’ll sail the world
And see its wonders
From the pearls of Spain
To the rubies of Tibet—
ANTHONY.
And then come home to
London.
JOHANNA:
And then home.
Some day. Some day.
(They kiss)
ANTHONY (Starting out): And I’ll be back before those lips have time to lose that smile. (He rushes off. Music continues under. JOHANNA paces. She sees the barber chair, starts to move toward it. During this, the BEGGAR WOMAN can be seen below approaching the pie-shop. A factory whistle blows. JOHANNA gasps, startled, then goes to the chair. She sits in it. Her hand moves to inspect the lever, but before she touches it, the beggar woman approaches, calling)
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Beadle! …
Beadle!
Where are you?
Beadle, dear!
Beadle!
JOHANNA {Simultaneously, jumping up): Someone calling the beadle! I knew it! (JOHANNA looks wildly around, sees the chest, runs to it and clambers in, closing the lid just as the BEGGAR WOMAN comes shuffing on)
BEGGAR WOMAN (Vacantly):
Beadle deedle deedle deedle deedle dumpling,
Beadle dumpling, Be-deedle dumpling . ..
(Whimpers, growls lasciviously, dimly surveys the room. She sees the chest, feels it; screams and wails. She mimes opening a window, then clutches an imaginary baby to her; pats and rocks it, cradles it and smiles. Lullaby music begins underneath)
And why should you weep then, my jo, my jing?
Ohh . . .
Your father’s at tea with the Swedish king.
He’ll bring you the moon on a silver string.
Ohh .. .
Ohh …
Quickly to sleep then, my jo, my jing,
He’ll bring you a shoe and a wedding ring.
Sing here again, home again,
Come again spring.
He’ll be coming soon now
To kiss you, my jo, my jing,
Bringing you the moon
And a shoe and a wedding ring.
He’ll be coming here again,
Home again . . .
(Without warning, leaping in like a thunderbolt, TODD appears, the razor in his hand; music continues)
TODD: You! What are you doing here?
BEGGAR WOMAN {Clutching his arm): Ah, evil is here, sir. The stink of evil — from below — from her! (Calling) Beadle dear, beadle!
TODD (Looking anxiously out the window for the JUDGE): Out of here, woman.
BEGGAR WOMAN (Still clutching his arm): She’s the Devil’s wife! Oh, beware her, sir. Beware of her. She with no pity in her heart.
TODD: Out, I say!
BEGGAR WOMAN (Peering dimly at him, sings):
Hey, don’t I know you, mister?
(On the street the JUDGE approaches the tonsorial parlor)
TODD (Seeing him): The Judge. I have no time.
(He turns on the BEGGAR WOMAN, slits her throat, puts her in the chair and releases her down the chute. The JUDGE enters the room. Music continues under)
JUDGE: Where is she? Where is the girl?
TODD: Below, your Honor. In the care of my neighbor, Mrs. Lovett. Thank heavens the sailor did not molest her. Thank heavens too, she has seen the error of her ways.
JUDGE: She has?
TODD: Oh yes, your lesson was well learned, sir. She speaks only of you, longing for forgiveness.
JUDGE: And she shall have it. She’ll be here soon, you say?
TODD (Sings):
I think I hear her now.
JUDGE: Oh, excellent, my friend!
TODD:
Is that her dainty footstep on the stair?
JUDGE (Listening): I hear nothing.
TODD:
Yes, isn’t that her shadow on the wall?
JUDGE: Where?
TODD (Points): There!
(The JUDGE looks, getting excited)
Primping,
Making herself even prettier than usual —
JUDGE (Sings):
Even prettier . ..
TODD:
If possible.
JUDGE (Blissful):
Ohhhhhhh,
Pretty women!
TODD:
Pretty women, yes …
JUDGE (Straightening his coat, patting his hair): Quickly, sir, a splash of bay rum!
TODD (Indicating the chair): Sit, sir, sit.
JUDGE (Settling into the chair, in lecherous rapture):
JOHANNA,JOHANNA.. .
(TODD gets a towel, puts it carefully around him, moves to pick up a bottle of bay rum)
TODD:
Pretty women . . .
JUDGE: Hurry, man!
TODD:
Pretty women
Are a wonder . . .
JUDGE: You’re in a merry mood again today, barber.
TODD (Joyfully):
Pretty women!
JUDGE:
What we do for TODD:
Pretty women! Pretty women!
(During the following, TODD smooths bay rum on the JUDGE ‘sface, reaching behind him for a razor)
Blowing out their candles Blowing out their candles
Or combing out their hair — Or combing out their hair,
Then they leave —
Even when they leave you Even when they leave,
And vanish, they somehow They still
Can still remain Are there,
There with you there … They’re there . ..
(Music continues under)
JUDGE: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit!
TODD (Smiling down): With fellow tastes — in women, at least.
JUDGE: What? What’s that?
TODD: The years no doubt have changed me, sir. But then, I suppose, the face of a barber — the face of a prisoner in the dock — is not particularly memorable.
JUDGE (With horrified realization): Benjamin Barker!
(The factory whistle blows; the JUDGE in terror tries to jump up but TODD slashes his throat, then pulls the lever and sends the body tumbling out of sight and down the chute. Music continues. For a long moment, TODD stands crouched forward by the chair, exhaling deeply. Then slowly he drops to his knees and even more slowly holds up the razor, gazing at it. He sings)
TODD:
Rest now, my friend,
Rest now forever.
Sleep now the untroubled
Sleep of the angels . ..
(Suddenly remembering, speaks)
The boy.
(He starts down the stairs. He stops midway, remembering his razor)
My razor!
(He starts back up the steps just as JOHANNA has climbed
out of the chest. She stands frozen)
You! What are you doing here? Speak!
JOHANNA (Deepening her voice): Oh, dear. Er — excuse me, sir. I saw the barber’s sign. So thinking to ask for a shave, I —
TODD: When? When did you come in?
JOHANNA: Oh, sir, I beg of you. Whatever I have seen, no man shall ever know. I swear it. Oh, sir, please, sir …
TODD: A shave, eh? (He turns chair toward her) At your service.
JOHANNA: But, sir…
TODD: Whatever you may have seen, your cheeks are still as much in need of the razor as before. Sit, sir. Sit. (TODD sits JOHANNA in the chair. As he goes for the razor, simultaneously the factory whistle blows and MRS. LOVETT is heard screaming “Die! Die!” from the bakehouse below. JOHANNA jumps up and runs out, TODD lunges after her, misses her. She runs away. TODD pauses; another scream from the bakehouse sends him running down the stairs, and as he disappears into the pie-shop, the company appears)
COMPANY (Sings):
Lift your razor high, Sweeney!
Hear it singing, “Yes!”
Sink it in the rosy skin
Of righteousness!
(Light comes up on the bakehouse. MRS. LOVETT is standing in horror by the mouth of the chute from which the JUDGE, still alive, clutches her skirt. MRS. LOVETT tries to tug the skirt away from the vise-like grip)
MRS. LOVETT: Die! Die! God in heaven — die! (The JUDGE’s fingers relax their grip; he is dead. Panting, MRS. LOVETT backs away from him and for the first time notices the body of the BEGGAR WOMAN. She pauses) You! Can it be? How all the demons of Hell come to torment me! (Looks hastily over her shoulder) Quick! To the oven. (She starts to drag the BEGGAR WOMAN to the oven as TODD enters, runs to her)
TODD: Why did you scream? Does the JUDGE still live?
MRS. LOVETT: He was clutching, holding on to my skirt, but now — he’s finished. (Continues dragging BEGGAR WOMAN to oven)
TODD: Leave them to me. Open the doors.
(He starts to shove her toward the oven)
MRS. LOVETT (Clutching the BEGGAR WOMAN ‘s wrists): No! Don’t touch her!
TODD (Pushing her to the oven doors and leaning down to pick up the BEGGAR WOMAN) : What is the matter with you? It’s only some meddling old beggar — (MRS. LOVETT opens the oven doors and the light from the fire illuminates the BEGGAR WOMAN ‘s face. A chord of music as TODD realizes who she is) Oh no, Oh God . . . “Don’t I know you?” she said . . . (Looks up) You knew she lived. From the first moment that I walked into your shop you knew my Lucy lived!
MRS. LOVETT: I was only thinking of you!
TODD (Looking down again, sings):
Lucy. . .
MRS. LOVETT: Your Lucy! A crazy hag picking bones and rotten spuds out of alley ash-cans! Would you have wanted to know that was all that was left of her?
TODD (Slowly looking up): You lied to me.
MRS. LOVETT (Sings):
No, no, not lied at all.
No, I never lied.
TODD ( To the BEGGAR WOMAN):
Lucy…
MRS. LOVETT:
Said she took the poison — she did —
Never said that she died —
Poor thing,
She lived —
TODD:
I’ve come home again . . .
MRS. LOVETT:
But it left her weak in the head,
All she did for months was just lie there in bed —
TODD:
Lucy. . .
MRS. LOVETT:
Should’ve been in hospital,
Wound up in Bedlam instead,
Poor thing!
TODD:
Oh, my God . . .
MRS. LOVETT:
Better you should think she was dead.
Yes, I lied ‘cos I love you!
TODD:
Lucy…
MRS. LOVETT:
I’d be twice the wife she was!
I love you!
TODD:
What have I done?…
MRS. LOVETT:
Could that thing have cared for you
Like me?
(TODD rises, soft and smiling; takes a step away in panic. Waltz music starts)
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett,
You’re a bloody wonder,
Eminently practical and yet
Appropriate as always.
As you’ve said repeatedly,
There’s little point in dwelling on the past.
TODD:
MRS. LOVETT:
Do you mean it?
Everything I did I swear
I thought
Was only for the best,
Believe me!
Can we still be
Married?
No, come here, my love ..
Not a thing to fear,
My love . . .
What’s dead
Is dead.
(TODD puts his arm around her waist; she starts to relax in her babbling, and they sway to the waltz, her arms around his neck)
TODD:
The history of the world, my pet —
MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
Leave it to me .. .
TODD:
Is learn forgiveness and try to forget.
MRS. LOVETT:
By the sea, Mr. Todd,
We’ll be comfy-cozy,
By the sea, Mr. Todd,
Where there’s no one nosy …
(He waltzes her closer to the oven)
TODD:
And life is for the alive, my dear,
So let’s keep living it — !
BOTH:
Just keep living it,
Really living it — !
(He flings her into the oven. She screams. He slams the doors behind her. Black smoke belches forth. The music booms like an earthquake. TODD, gasping, sinks to his knees by the oven doors. Then he rises, moves back to the BEGGAR WOMAN and kneels, cradling her head in his arms)
TODD (Sings):
There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful.
A foolish barber and his wife,
She was his reason and his life.
And she was beautiful.
And she was virtuous.
And he was —
(Shrugs)
Naive.
(TOBIAS emerges from the cellar, singing in an eerie voice. His hair has turned completely white)
TOBIAS:
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker man.
Bake me a cake —
No,no,
Bake me a pie —
To delight my eye,
And I will sigh
If the crust be high …
(Sees TODD, speaks)
Mr. TODD.
(Notices the BEGGAR WOMAN) It’s the old woman. Ya harmed her too, have ya? Ya shouldn’t, ya know. Ya shouldn’t harm nobody. (He bends to examine the body; TODD, suddenly aware of someone, pushes him violently aside. As TOBIAS staggers back and recovers his balance, he notices the razor on the floor, picks it up, plays with it) Razor! Razor! Cut, cut, cut cadougan, watch me grind my corn. Pat him and prick him and mark him with B, and put him in the oven for baby and me! (Cuts TODD’5 throat. TODD dies across the body of Lucy as the factory whistle blows. ANTHONY, JOHANNA and officers of the guard come running on. Seeing the carnage, they all stop) You will pardon me, gentlemen, but you may not enter here. Oh no! Me mistress don’t let no one enter here, for, you see, sirs, there’s work to be done, so much work. (While they watch in horror, he moves to the grinding machine and slowly starts to turn the handle) Three times. That’s the secret. Three times through for them to be tender and juicy. Three times through the grinder. Smoothly, smoothly … (JOHANNA gives a little cry. ANTHONY throws his arm around her. As the group stands watching, still in silence, TOBIAS continues to grind. Suddenly, the trap door slaps shut; the light brightens abruptly, TOBIAS steps back, looks up and sings. . .)
Epilogue
TOBIAS:
Attend the tale of Sweeney TODD.
His skin was pale and his eye was odd.
JOHANNA and ANTHONY:
He shaved the faces of gentlemen
Who never thereafter were heard of again.
POLICEMEN:
He trod a path that few have trod,
POLICEMEN, JOHANNA and ANTHONY:
Did Sweeney Todd,
ALL:
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
BEGGAR WOMAN (Rising):
He kept a shop in London town,
Of fancy clients and good renown.
JUDGE (Rising):
And what if none of their souls were saved?
They went to their maker impeccably shaved
BEGGAR WOMAN, JUDGE and POLICEMEN:
By Sweeney,
By Sweeney TODD,
ALL:
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
PIRELLI and BEADLE (Entering):
Swing your razor wide, Sweeney!
Hold it to the skies!
Freely flows the blood of those
Who moralize!
(The rest of the company enters)
COMPANY:
His needs are few, his room is bare.
He hardly uses his fancy chair.
The more he bleeds, the more he lives.
He never forgets and he never forgives.
Perhaps today you gave a nod
To Sweeney TODD,
The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
WOMEN:
Sweeney wishes the world away,
Sweeney’s weeping for yesterday,
Hugging the blade, waiting the years,
Hearing the music that nobody hears.
Sweeney waits in the parlor hall,
Sweeney leans on the office wall.
MEN:
No one can help, nothing can hide you —
Isn’t that Sweeney there beside you?
company:
Sweeney wishes the world away,
Sweeney’s weeping for yesterday,
Is Sweeney!
There he is, it’s Sweeney!
Sweeney! Sweeney!
(Pointing around the theater)
There! There! There! There!
There! There! There!
(Pointing to the grave)
There!
(TODD and MRS. LOVETT rise from the grave)
TODD and company:
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd!
He served a dark and a hungry god!
TODD:
To seek revenge may lead to hell,
MRS. LOVETT:
But everyone does it, and seldom as well
TODD and MRS. LOVETT:
As Sweeney,
COMPANY:
As Sweeney Todd,
The Demon Barber of Fleet…
(They start to exit)
. .. Street!
(The company exits. TODD and Mrs. Lovett ate the last to leave. They look at each other, then exit in opposite directions, MRS. LOVETT into the wings, Todd upstage. He glares at us malevolently for a moment, then slams the iron door in our faces. Blackout)