8. WHO’S BETTY SCHAEFER?
NORMA
Is this what you’re looking for, by any chance?
JOE
Why, yes.
NORMA
Whose phone number is this?
I’ve been worried about the line of my throat.
I think this woman has done wonders with it.
JOE
Good.
NORMA
And I’ve lost half a pound since Tuesday.
JOE
Very good.
NORMA
Now it’s after nine. I’d better get to bed.
JOE
You had.
NORMA
Are you coming up?
JOE
I think I’ll read a while longer.
NORMA
You went out last night, didn’t you, Joe?
JOE
I went for a walk.
NORMA
You took the car.
JOE
I drove to the beach.
NORMA
Who’s Betty Schaefer?
JOE
Surely, you don’t want me to feel as if I’m a prisoner in this house?
NORMA
You don’t understand, Joe. I’m under such a terrible strain. It’s been so hard I even got myself a revolver. The only thing that stopped me from killing myself was the thought of all those people, waiting to see me back on the screen. How could I disappoint them? All I ask is a little patience, a little understanding.
JOE
Norma, there’s nothing to worry about. I haven’t done anything.
NORMA
Of course you haven’t. Good night, my darling.
JOE
I should have stayed there
Poor Norma
So desperate to be ready
For what would never happen
But Betty would be waiting
We had a script to finish
One unexpected love scene
Two people, both risking
A kind of happy ending
9. BETTY’S OFFICE AT PARAMOUNT
BETTY
T-H-E E-N-D ! I can’t believe it. I’ve finished my first script!
JOE
Oh, stop it. You’re making me feel old.
BETTY
It’s exciting though, isn’t it?
JOE
How old are you, anyway?
BETTY
Twenty-two.
JOE
Smart girl.
BETTY
Shouldn’t we open some champagne?
JOE
Well, the best I can offer is a stroll to the water cooler at the end of the lot.
BETTY
Sounds good to me.
I love the back lot here. It’s all cardboard, all hollow, all phony, all done with mirrors. I think I love it more than any street in the world. I spent my childhood here.
JOE
What were you, a child actress?
BETTY
But my family always expected me to become a great star. I had ten years of dramatic lessons, diction, dancing, everything you can think of; and then the studio made a test.
JOE
That is the saddest story I ever heard.
BETTY
Not at all. Come on.
I was born two blocks from here. My father was head electrician at the studio until he died. My mother still works in wardrobe.
JOE
Second generation, huh?
BETTY
Third. Grandma did stunt work for Pearl White.
JOE
I guess it is exciting, at that, finishing a script.
BETTY
What?
JOE
Are you all right?
BETTY
Sure.
JOE
Something’s the matter, isn’t it?
10. TOO MUCH IN LOVE TO CARE
BETTY
I had a telegram from Artie
JOE
Is something wrong?
BETTY
He wants me to come out to Tennessee. He says it would only cost two dollars to get married in Clinch.
JOE
Well, what’s stopping you, now that we’ve finished the script…
Hey, why are you crying? You’re getting married, isn’t that what you wanted?
BETTY
Not any more.
JOE
Don’t you love Artie?
BETTY
Of course I do. I’m just not in love with him any more, that’s all.
JOE
Why not? What happened?
BETTY
You did.
When I was a kid, I played on this street
I always loved illusion
I thought make-believe was truer than life
But now it’s all confusion
Please, can you tell me what’s happening?
I just don’t any more
If this is real, how should I feel?
What should I look for?
JOE
If you were smart, you would keep on walking
Out of my life, as fast as you can
I’m not the one you should pin your hopes on
You’re falling for the wrong kind of man
This is crazy
You know we should call it a day
Sound advice, great advice
Let’s throw it away
I can’t control all the things I’m feeling
I haven’t got a prayer
If I’m a fool, well, I’m too much in love to care
I knew where I was
I’d give up hope
Made friends with disillusion
No one in my life
But I look at you
And now it’s all confusion
BETTY
Please, can you tell me what’s happening?
I just don’t any more
If this is real, how should I feel?
What should I look for?
I thought I had everything I needed
My life was set, my dreams were in place
My heart could see way into the future
All of that goes when I see your face
I should hate you
There I was, the world in my hand
Can one kiss kiss away everything I planned?
I can’t control all the things I’m feeling
I’m floating in mid-air
I know it’s wrong, but I’m too much in love to care
BOTH
I thought I had everything I needed
My life was set, my dreams were in place
My heart could see way into the future
All of that goes when I see your face
This is crazy
You know we should call it a day
JOE
Sound advice
BETTY
Great advice
BOTH
Let’s throw it away
I can’t control all the things I’m feeling
We’re floating in mid-air
If we are fools, well, we’re too much in love to care
If we are fools, well, we’re too much in love to care!
11. NEW WAYS TO DREAM (Reprise)
JOE
What’s the matter there, Max? You waiting to wash the car?
MAX
Please be careful when you cross the patio. Madame may be watching.
JOE
Suppose I tiptoe up the back stairs and get undressed in the dark, will that do it?
MAX
It’s just that I am greatly worried about Madame.
JOE
Well, we’re not helping any, feeling her lies, more lies. What’s going to happen when she finds out they’re not going to make her picture?
MAX
She never will. That is my job. I made her a star and I will never let her be destroyed.
JOE
You made her a star?
MAX
I directed all her early pictures. In those days, there were three young directors who showed promise: D.W. Griffith, Cecil B. DeMille and —
JOE
Max von Mayerling.
MAX
That’s right.
When we met, she was a child
Barely sixteen
Awkward and yet, she had an air
I’ve never seen
I knew I’d found my perfect face
Deep in her eyes
New ways to dream
And we inspired
New ways to dream
Talkies came; I stayed with her, took up this life
Threw away fame
Please understand
She was my wife
We had achieved far more than most
We gave the world new ways to dream
Everyone needs new ways to dream
JOE
Are you saying you were married to her?
MAX
I was the first husband.
So I play this game
Keeper of the flame
Sharing with her one last dream
Don’t you think I knew it never could come true?
She’ll be the very last one to surrender
I will not allow her to surrender
12. THE PHONE CALL
NORMA
Hello, is this Gladstone 9281? Miss Schaefer?…Hello, Miss Schaefer, you must forgive me for calling so late, but I really feel it’s my duty. It’s about Mr. Gillis…you do know a Mr. Gillis? Well, exactly how much do you know about him? Do you know where he lives? Do you know what he lives on?
I want to spare you a lot of sadness
I don’t know what he’s told you
But I can guarantee you
He doesn’t live with mother
Or what you’d call a roommate
He’s just a … I can’t say it
Poor Betty
You ask him
I’d love to hear his answer…
…Joe…
JOE
That’s right, Betty, why don’t you ask me?…
NORMA
Don’t.
JOE
…Or better yet, come over and see for yourself. Yes, right now. The address is ten thousand eighty-six, Sunset Boulevard.
NORMA
Don’t hate me, Joe. I did it because I need you. Look at me. Look at my hands. Look at my face. Look under my eyes. How can I go back to work if I’m wasting away?
No! Don’t stand there hating me, Joe. Shout at me, strike me, but say you don’t hate me…Joe, Joe.
13. THE FINAL SCENE
JOE
Come on in.
BETTY
What’s going on, Joe?
Why am I so scared?
What was that woman saying?
She sounded so weird
I don’t understand…
Please, can you tell me what’s happening?
You said you loved me tonight
Shall I just go?
Say something, Joe
JOE
Have some pink champage and caviar
When you go visit with a star
The hospitality is stellar
BETTY
So this is where you’re living?
JOE
Yes, it’s quite a place, sleeps seventeen
Eight sunken tubs, a movie screen
A bowling alley in the cellar
BETTY
I didn’t come to see a house, Joe
JOE
Sunset Boulevard
Cruise the Boulevard
Win yourself a Hollywood palazzo
Sunset Boulevard
Mythic Boulevard
Valentino danced on that terrazzo
BETTY
Who’s it belong to?
JOE
Just look around you
BETTY
That’s Norma Desmond.
JOE
Right on the money
That’s Norma Desmond
That’s Norma Desmond
That’s Norma Desmond
That’s Norma Desmond
BETTY
Why did she call me?
JOE
Give you three guesses
It’s the oldest story in the book
Come see the taker being took
The world is full of Joes and Normas
Older woman, very well-to-do
Meets younger man, the standard cue
For two mechanical performers
BETTY
Just pack your things and let’s go.
JOE
You mean all my things?
Have you gone mad?
Leave all these things I’ve never had?
Leave this luxurious existence?
You want me to face that one-room hell
That murphy bed, that rancid smell
Go back to living on subsistence?
It’s no time to begin a new life
Now I’ve finally made a perfect landing
I’m afraid there’s no room for a wife
Not unless she’s uniquely understanding
you should go back to Artie and marry the fool
And you’ll always be welcome to swim in my pool
BETTY
I can’t look at you any more, Joe.
NORMA
Thank you, thank you, Joe, thank you…thank you.
What are you doing, Joe?
You’re not leavine me?
JOE
Yes, I am, Norma.
NORMA
You can’t! Max!
JOE
It’s been a bundle of laughs
And thanks for the use of the trinkets
A little ritzy for the copy desk back in Dayton
And there’s something you ought to know
I want to do you this favour
They’ll never shoot that hopeless script of yours
They only wanted your car
NORMA
That’s a lie! They still want me!
What about all my fan-mail?
JOE
It’s Max who writes you letters
Your audience has vanished
They left when you weren’t looking
Nothing’s wrong with being fifty
Unless you’re acting twenty
NORMA
I am the greatest star of them all.
JOE
Goodbye, Norma.
NORMA
No one ever leaves a star
REPORTER
And as dawn breaks over hte murder house, Norma Desmond, famed star of yesteryear, is in a state of complete mental shock.
NORMA
This was dawn
I don’t know why I’m frightened
Silent music stars to play
Happy New Year, darling.
If you’re with me, next year will be…
Next year will be…
They bring in his head on a silver tray
She kisses his mouth…
She kisses his mouth…
Mad about the boy!
They’ll say Norma’s back at last!
MAX
Madame, the cameras have arrived.
NORMA
Max, where am I?
MAX
This is the staircase of the palace
And they’re waiting for your dance
NORMA
Of course, now I remember
I was so frightened I might fall…
MAX
You are the greatest star of all!
Lights!
Cameras!
Action!
NORMA
When he scored me I
Knew he’d have to die
Let me kiss his severed head
Compromise or death
He fought to his last breath
He never had it in him to surrender
Just like me, he never could surrender
I can’t go on with the scene; I’m too happy. May I say a few words, Mr. DeMille? I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be back in the studio making a picture. I promise you I’ll never desert you again. This is my life. It always will be. There’s nothing else. Just us and the cameras and all you wonderful people out there in the dark. And now, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.
This time I’m staying
I’m staying for good
I’ll be back where I was born to be
With one look, I’ll be me