Make Believe – Show Boat

SCENE ONE

(The levee at Natchez on the Mississippi. About 1890. The towboat “Mollie Able” is up R. The show boat “Cotton Blossom” is up L. STEVEDORES are piling up bales of cotton at R. WINDY an old pilot, stands on the Texas deck of the towboat, smoking his pipe and looking on)

STEVEDORES

Colored folk work on de Mississippi

Colored folk work while de white folks play-

Loadin’ up boats wid de bales of cotton,

Gittin’ no rest till de Judgement Day.

GALS

Git yo’self a bran’ new gal,

A lovin’ baby who’s de apple of yo’ eye.

Coal black Rose or high brown Sal,

Dey all kin cook de sparrer grass an’ chicken pie!

STEVEDORES

Hey! Git along, git along,

Git along, git along.

Hey! Git along, git along,

git along, hey!

STEVEDORES & GALS

Colored folk work on de Mississippi

Colored folk work while de white folks play –

Loadin’ up boats wid de bales of cotton,

Gittin’ no rest till de Judgement Day!

Cotton blossom, cotton blossom,

Love to see you growin’ free.

When dey pack you on de levee

You’re a heavy load to me!

Cotton blossom, cotton blossom,

Love to see you growin’ wild!

On de levee you’re too heavy

For dis po’ black child!

(STEVE enters from the show boat and places a picture frame

left of the gangplank. PETE, the engineer, enters from the

towboat. Coming down C., PETE and STEVE exchange dirty looks.

STEVEDORES work upstoge to a pile of bales. GALS sit around

on bulkhead, leaving downstage clear. QUEENIE, the cook,

waddles on from market with a basket of provisions on her head)

QUEENIE

Lordy, mah feet shure is killin’ me dis mornin’.

STEVE

Mornin’, Queenie.

QUEENIE

Mornin’, Mars’ Steve.

PETE

Hey there, nigger! Where y’all git dat brooch you’re wearin’?

(WINDY takes his pipe from his mouth)

QUEENIE

You mean dis scrumptious piece of jewelry?

PETE

Where’d you git it, nigger?

QUEENIE

It was give to me.

PETE

Who give it to you?

QUEENIE

Ax me no questions ‘n ah’ll tell y’ no lies!

(to herself, as she walks towards the show boat)

Dat man! Axin’ me where ah gets mah jewelry! Hm!

(QUEENIE exits. STEVE scowls at PETE and exits after QUEENIE.

PETE plunges his hand in his pockets and goes upstage. WINDY

replaces his pipe in his mouth)

STEVEDORES & GALS

Colored folk work on de Mississippi,

Colored folk work while de white folks play

Loadin’ up boat wid de bales of cotton,

Gittin’ no rest till de Judgement Day!

Cotton blossom, cotton blossom,

Love to see you growin’ wild!

On de levee you’re too heavy

For dis po’ black child!

(A group of dainty, beruffled MINCING MISSES enter from R. and L.

They go over to the pictures. The GALS move upstage again, imitating

the white girls’ mincing gait)

1st MINCING MISS

The center picture is Julia LaVerne, the leading lady.

(PETE turns and slouches downstage)

2nd MINCING MISS

My – isn’t she beautiful!

(The local BEAUX make a dashing entrance from stage right,

like the young bucks they are – they stand off and ogle the

demure maidens. PETE hangs around the picture frames as the

GIRLS turn to be demure for the BEAUX)

BEAUX

What a pretty bevy!

Ah! There! Ah, there!

The fairest of the fair

To Southern beauty

Ev’ry beau must bow!

MINCING MISSES

How you love to flatter,

You rogues! You rogues!

(confiding to audience)

Oh, goodness gracious!

They’re so flirtatious!

(to Beaux)

You naughty fellows

Seem to think you please us

When you tease us

So!

You’re a reckless lot

We know!

BEAUX

Little women don’t be timorous!

You will find acting thus

Only makes a man more bold!

These are not the days of old!

BEAUX

(each grabbing a Mincing One)

See! The show boat!

That’s old Captain Andy’s “Cotton Blossom,”

Will you go?

Let me take you to the show!

GALS

H’yah! Look live dere!

GIRLS

Twil1 be delightful,

But to rightfully accept I have to make Mama

Get permission from Papa!

STEVEDORES & GALS

H’yah! Look live dere!

GIRLS & BOYS

(reading handbills)

Captain Andy has gathered a troupe

In the greatest of drammers and jolly comedies.

Stephen Baker, the handsomest leading man

And beautiful Julie LaVerne as well!

STEVEDORES & GALS

Ho! Ho! Ho!

BOYS & GIRLS

“Cotton Blossom,”

Captain Andy’s floating show!

Thrills and laughter,

Concert after,

Ev’rybody’s sure to go!

“Cotton Blossom,” “Cotton Blossom,”

Captain Andy’s floating show!

Thrills and laughter,

Concert after,

Get your girl and go!

STEVEDORES & GALS

Cotton blossom, cotton blossom,

Love to see you growin’ free,

When dey pack you on de levee

You’re a heavy load to me.

Cotton blossom, cotton blossom,

Love to see you growin’ wild!

On de levee

You’re too heavy

For dis po’ black child!

BOYS & GIRLS

So get your girl and go!

STEVEDORES & GALS

So let dat whistle blow!

(PETE steals JULIE’s picture from the frame. WINDY takes

his pipe from his mouth PETE hastily puts picture out of

sight as he slinks away and exits onto the towboat. PARTHY’s

voice is heard off stage)

PARTHY

(off stage)

Andy!!!

(She enters)

Drat that man, he’s never around!

(MAGNOLIA is heard practicing the piano on board

the “Cotton Blossom”)

WINDY

(from the Texas deck)

Lookin’ for Cap’n Andy?

PARTHY

Yes, Windy – have you seen him?

WINDY

Nope.

(He puts his pipe back in his mouth)

PARTHY

Well – if y’ ain’t seen him, why did you ask

me if I was lookin’ for him?

(WINDY has an irritating way of not seeming to hear)

Y’old weather-beaten buzzard! I’m goin’ to tell my husband

to get a new pilot…

1st MINCING MISS

Is that your little girl playing the piano?

PARTHY

Yep – ain’t so little any more – eighteen this comin’ August.

1st MINCING MISS

I’ve brought a chocolate cake for Captain Andy.

2nd MINCING MISS

And I have some plum jelly for him

PARTHY

Well, he ain’t around and the Lord knows when he will be.

3.Cap’n Andy’s Ballyhoo

(The band is heard in the distance)

BOY

Here comes the Show Boat parade!

(The CROWD gathers, shouting and waving their hats. Some

coloured children run on, leaping, dancing, throwing their

hats in the air. CAPTAIN ANDY enters from stage R., with a

girl on each arm, behind him the brass band and balance of

the troupe and followers. He finishes stage C.)

GIRLS

(presenting candy, etc., to ANDY)

Captain Andy, Captain Andy,

Here’s your lemon cake and homemade candy.

Quince preserve and apple brandy;

Mama sends her best regards to you.

GIRLS & BOYS

Captain Andy, Captain Andy,

We’ve been hearing all about your dandy Show.

Is this year’s good as last year?

Won’t you tell us what is new?

ANDY

Ladies and Gentlemen – I want you to meet some of the greatest

artistes that ever played the river town… Miss Ellie May Chipley,

the toast of Cairo, Illinois.

(applause)

C’mon, Ellie!

(He pulls her by the hand to the center.

All applaud. ELLIE simpers)

Next, I want y’all to meet Frank Schultz

(FRANK steps out – applause)

Mr. Schultz is the villain in our play – but off the stage, he’s

as meek as a lamb, and wouldn’t hurt a fly – and he’s stuck on Ellie.

(All laugh lightly – but ANDY laughs the loudest)

That’s they way they are, folks – jest one big happy family! And I’m

their father –

Ha! Ha!

(GIRLS laugh)

And Parthy here is the mother –

Ha! Ha!

(All laugh)

What about that, Parthy?

PARTHY

Oh, y’ make me sick!

ANDY

(coughing)

Jest one big happy family! Now, folks I want you to meet the little

sweetheart of the South – Miss Julia LaVerne, our leading lady

(applause)

Y’all know her, and y’all love her – what more can say? And we have

another famous ornament of the stage with us – Mr. Stephen Baker! The

handsomest leading man in the middle west!

(STEVE, who has been scowling at PETE, achieves a prop smile. The

GIRLS gasp admiringly)

So here we are, folks – jest one big happy family!

ANDY

Look’t we got! Look’t we got!

How can we fail? How can we fail?

You never seen a show like this before!

We’ll try to make the evening bright,

And if you come around tonight,

Tomorrer night you’ll come around for more.

GIRLS & BOYS

Captain Andy, Captain Andy

You know how to make a show sound dandy.

ANDY

Frank and Ellie,

C’mon, let’s show ’em

Jest a sample of your soft-shoe dance!

PARTHY

(the note of warning – she has stood enough)

Captain Andy! Captain Andy!

ANDY

(pleading)

Jest a sample

PARTHY

What a man! My land, he

Gives away his show for nuthin’!

ANDY

(to FRANK and ELLIE)

Jest a sample of the dance!

(He signals the band, turns to the crowd and beams as the dance

begins. At the finish of the dance FRANK and ELLIE strike a pose)

Looking out to sea!

(At the end of the dance ANDY applauds with so much gusto

that the crowd would be ashamed not to follow suit. ANDY

begins passing out handbills)

Well, folks, that was jest a sample – don’t forget the bill tonight –

“Tempest and Sunshine” – that beautiful melerdrammer of tears and

laughter concert after the show – Bring the children – come one, come all!

(ANDY works upstage among the crowd – part of the CROWD gathers

around JULIE and STEVE, the BOYS around JULIE, and GIRLS around STEVE,

so they are temporarily separated. These admirers, however, keep at

some little distance as they stand and worship their idols of the stage.

PETE slinks up to JULIE)

PETE

Hey, Julie! That’s hell of a thing to do – giving my present to a nigger –

JULIE

(nervously)

Pete – if Steve ever knew about you sending me that brooch, I declare

he’d just about beat you to death –

(STEVE sees PETE and JULIE together)

PETE

Well, he’d better not try, and you better be pretty nice to me –

or you’ll be mighty sorry –

(STEVE has come up to PETE- he takes his arm

and swings him around so that he faces him)

STEVE

I told you to keep away from my wife. I reckon I won’t do

any more talkin’ about it.

(Holding PETE’s arm, he strikes him and

knocks him down. JULIE screams)

JULIE

Steve! Don’t!

(The men clinch – PARTHY sees them)

PARTHY

Andy!

(PETE and STEVE struggle – GIRLS shriek, the crowd

mills around the two men as they wrestle. ANDY hops

about ineffectually. PETE falls – ANDY rushes in and

holds STEVE)

STEVE

I’ll kill him!!!

ANDY

Get on that boat!

(FRANK runs up – ANDY sort of passes STEVE to FRANK, who

leads him back into the boat STEVE, half dazed with anger,

and weakened by the nervous outburst, follows meekly, dimly

realizing he has done something wrong. ELLIE helps PETE to

his feet. ANDY looks around – the CROWD looks puzzled – he

must say something. Suddenly he becomes inspired)

ANDY

Well, folks – that was jest a sample. The boys jest showed

you a scene from one of our bills – that’s the way they are,

folks… always skylarking, always playing pranks.

(He looks around at a horrified PARTHY and ELLIE,

solemn JULIE, and PETE, just coming to)

…Jest one big happy family!

(He gives the band the high sign – they strike up a tune –

“Cotton Blossom”. He cheers and throws his hat in the air –

his good spirits infect the CROWD. who follow suit and join

in singing “Cotton Blossom” as they exit)

ALL

Cotton Blossom, Cotton Blossom,

Captain Andy’s floating show!

Thrills and laughter,

Concert after,

Get your girl and go!

(This exit masks the entrance of a gentleman in

elegant but frayed clothes, who has paused up C.

This is GAYLORD RAVENAL. He leans against the

bulkhead and looks out over the river. His face is

not yet seen. ANDY, ELLIE, PARTHY and JULIE are

left on stage. PETE confronts JULIE)

PETE

Just wait! I’ll get you two for this, and I know how I can do it –

and when I start in, you’ll be sorry you were ever born –

ANDY

You get away from here, you little no-account river rat!

You’re fired!

(PETE exits)

An’ if y’ever come near my show boat again, I’ll pitch you right

into the river! And don’t try to get on the towboat either…

(looking up to WINDY)

Y’hear that, Windy?

(WINDY nods)

Throw him right off the boat.

(WINDY nods)

We’ll pick up a new engineer in Fort Adams.

PARTHY

(Looking hard at JULIE)

Humph – nice goin’s on!

ANDY

(looking sympathetically towards JULIE)

It wasn’t Julie’s fault, Parthy –

PARTHY

‘N you protectin’ her!

JULIE

The one thing I’m grateful fer is that Magnolia wasn’t here –

PARTHY

So am I – an’ I’ll be grateful for somethin’ else, Miss LaVerne –

I’ll have to ask you to stop givin’ Magnolia pianner lessons.

In fact, I don’t want my daughter mixed up with you – or anybody

like you –

JULIE

Mrs. Hawks – please don’t say that – Nola is like a little sister

to me – outside of Steve, I don’t love anybody like I love Nola –

(crossing to ANDY)

Mr. Hawks – if I have to stop seeing her – I can’t stay on the

Cotton Blossom – I just can’t!

(She runs into the show boat as the tears come rushing to her eyes)

ANDY

Now you done it – now you done it!

The best leading lady on the river!

ELLIE

(coyly snuggling up to ANDY)

Oh, Cap’n Andy, if Julie goes, will you give me a chance

at the leads? I’d love to get a crack at a serious part –

I’d be a sensation in drammer.

ANDY

Why, Ellie! There ain’t a funnier girl on the river ‘n you are!

ELLIE

(anxiously clutching his arm and kneeling)

Oh, Captain Andy, don’t! Don’t stamp your foot down

on real actin’ ability!

PARTHY

(grimly)

Leave go my husband’s arm –

(ELLIE edges away gingerly. PARTHY turns her attentions

to ANDY. During the following tirade he doesn’t dare answer.

He stands meek and still)

An’ you – you think more of your show boat troupe than you

do of your own daughter’s upbringing – Well, thank God, her

mother had a good Christian bringin’ up in Massachussetts.

Where I come from, no decent body’d touch this show boat

riff-raff with a ten foot pole – let alone have their

daughters mixed up with them – I’ll have more to say to

you, later!

(She exits into the boat. ANDY waits until she’s gone –

then, oblivious to ELLIE’S presence, he answers PARTHY back)

ANDY

(walking up and down and arguing

with his imaginary adversary)

Oh, you will, will you? Well, maybe I’ll have somethin’ to say

to you, too – ‘s far as that goes I’d just as soon have her be

friends with Julie as any gal I know – yes – Julie! You heard me!

(He sees ELLIE)

My God – I’ll tell her!

PARTHY]

(off stage)

Andy!!!

ELLIE

Are you going to tell her all that now?

ANDY

No – I’ll tell her tonight – late. I don’t want any more trouble

before the show. Jest one big happy family – bah!!

(ANDY exits into the show boat ELLIE turns away

from the boat and sees RAVENAL-)

ELLIE

It’s a man…

(RAVENAL turns, and we see him for the first time – so does

ELLIE. He strides down-stage, nonchalantly swinging his cane.

She thinks he’s grand – she drops her handkerchief. RAVENAL

picks up her handkerchief and hands it to her with courtesy)

ELLIE

Thank you so much.

RAVENAL

Delighted to be of service, Ma’am.

(ELLIE gives him a flirtatious glance and crosses left.

RAVENAL looks after her, mildly amused. He takes the long

cheroot from his mouth and looks at it reflectively. VALLON

enters from stage R. RAVENAL sees him. They regard each

other coolly for a moment)

VALLON

Back in town, Gay?

RAVENAL

For a short stay…

VALLON

Can’t be more than twenty-four hours, you know.

RAVENAL

Give me time, can’t you? I haven’t been twenty-four

hours stepping off the gangplank onto this wharf,

have I? I can get back on just as quickly.

(With impulsive irritation, he throws his

half smoked cheroot to the ground)

VALLON

No offense, Gay – just thought I’d remind you in case

of trouble. It’d be terrible to have you locked up –

all the purty gals on the river front’d be cryin’

their eyes out. Where you aim to go from here?

RAVENAL

Who cares? Who cares where I go?

VALLON

Seegar?

(As he proffers a cigar, RAVENAL raises

his eyebrows disdainfully)

RAVENAL

What did you call it?

VALLON

See-gar.

RAVENAL

Optimist. .

(VALLON shrugs his shoulders and walks off R. RAVENAL

swings his cane airily and strolls up and down as he sings:)

4.Where’s The Mate For Me?

RAVENAL

Who cares if my boat goes upstream,

Or if the gale bids me go with the river’s flow?

I drift along with my fancy

Sometimes I thank my lucky stars my heart is free –

And other times I wonder where’s that mate for me?

(MAGNOLIA begins again on the piano, off stage. He looks up.

She hesitates in her fingering at a certain point. He pantomimes

the serious anxiety a listener always feels, hoping she’ll hit

the right note. He sits on a cotton bale and goes on with his

musing, idly tapping his cane on the ground)

RAVENAL

The driftwood floating over the sea

Someday finds a sheltering lee,

So, somewhere there surely must be

A harbour meant for me –

(MAGNOLIA enters on the upper deck of the show boat)

I drift along with my fancy –

Sometimes I thank my lucky stars my heart is free,

And other times I wonder where’s the mate –

(He turns and sees MAGNOLIA. What a picture! A very young

face, and a fluffy dress all pink with flowers and everything –

and she is becomingly shy – yet bold enough to return his gaze –

and to speak first)

MAGNOLIA

Hello…

RAVENAL

(taken by surprise – an unusual thing)

Er – how do you do?

MAGNOLIA

Do you live here?

RAVENAL

No – I’m just a way-farer along the river

MAGNOLIA

So am I – which way are you going?

RAVENAL

Either way – where are you going?

MAGNOLIA

Anywhere Papa gives shows.

RAVENAL

(a trifle jarred)

Oh – are you a player?

MAGNOLIA

You mean like on the pianner? Yes – I play a little.

RAVENAL

Oh – was that you I heard just now -?

MAGNOLIA

Yes – that was me!

RAVENAL

(under his breath)

What a pity!

MAGNOLIA

What did you say, Mister?

RAVENAL

Er – when I asked you if you were a player – I meant –

are you an actress?

MAGNOLIA

Oh – no – but I’d give anything if I could be.

RAVENAL

Why?

MAGNOLIA

Because you can make believe so many wonderful

things that never happen in real life.

RAVENAL

But wonderful things do happen – this very day

I was standing here on the levee – feeling blue –

and suddenly I looked up, and –

MAGNOLIA

I must go now –

RAVENAL

Why?

MAGNOLIA

Well, you see, you’re talking to me – and I don’t know you –

RAVENAL

Does that really matter so much?

MAGNOLIA

N-no – not to me – but they say it isn’t nice.

RAVENAL

If you like to make believe things, why can’t

we make believe we know each other?

MAGNOLIA

Oh, yes – and we haven’t seen each other for seventy-five

years, and you’re my long-lost nephew – there’s a scene

like that in a play called “The Village Drunkard.”

RAVENAL

No – seventy-five years is too long – besides, I don’t

think I’d like the idea of being your nephew. Let us

imagine that we’ve just met –

MAGNOLIA

But we really have.

RAVENAL

Yes – but let’s just suppose that we’ve fallen in love

at first sight.

5.Make Believe

(sings:)

Only make believe I love you,

Only make believe that you love me.

Others find peace of mind in pretending –

Couldn’t you?

Couldn’t I?

Couldn’t we?

Make believe our lips are blending

In a phantom kiss, or two, or three.

Might as well make believe I love you,

For to tell the truth, I do.

(He steps back)

Your pardon I pray,

‘Twas too much to say

The words that betray my heart.

MAGNOLIA

We only pretend,

You do not offend

In playing a lover’s part.

The game of just supposing

Is the sweetest game I know.

Our dreams are more romantic

Than the world we see

RAVENAL

And if the things we dream about

Don’t happen to be so,

That’s just an unimportant technicality.

MAGNOLIA

Though the cold and brutal fact is

You and I have never met,

We need not mind convention’s P’s and Q’s.

If we put our thoughts in practice

We can banish all regret

Imagining most anything we choose.

We could make believe I love you,

We could make believe that you love me.

MAGNOLIA & RAVENAL

Others find peace of mind in pretending,

Couldn’t you,

Couldn’t I?

Couldn’t we?

RAVENAL

Make believe our lips are blending

In a phantom kiss – or two – or three.

MAGNOLIA & RAVENAL

Might as well make believe I love you,

RAVENAL

For to tell the truth, I do…

(RAVENAL reaches up and kisses MAGNOLIA’s hand.

They stand and gaze at each other. VALLON enters

from R. followed by JOE, who is carrying a sack

of flour, which he places on stage up C.)

VALLON

Ravenal – the Judge’d like to see you.

RAVENAL

What for?

VALLON

Nothin’ serious – but I reckon you’d better come along

and have a talk with him.

(RAVENAL turns to MAGNOLIA)

You will excuse me, ma’am? I hope I’ll see you again –

in a little while.

(He bows and exits grandly with VALLON, patting

the top of his hat with a flourish and swinging his

cane. MAGNOLIA looks after him adoringly. Then

she sees JOE looking at RAVENAL curiously)

MAGNOLIA

Oh, Joe! Did you see that young man I was talkin’ to?

(JOE turns)

JOE

Mornin’, Miss Nola… Yep – I seed him – seed a lot

like him on de river –

MAGNOLIA

Oh, Joe, he was such a gentleman! Have you seen Miss Julie?

I got to tell her – I got to ask her what she thinks –

(MAGNOLIA exits L.)

JOE

Better ask de ol’ river what he thinks – he knows

all ’bout dem boys… he knows all ’bout everythin’…

(JOE sits on a box, takes out a knife, picks up a shaving

and starts to whittle, idly, as he sings:)

6.Ol’ Man Rive

JOE

Dere’s an ol’ man called de Mississippi;

Dat’s de ol’ man dat I’d like to be!

What does he care if de world’s got troubles?

What does he care if de land ain’t free?

Ol’ Man River,

Dat Ol’ Man River

He mus’ know sumpin’

But don’t say nuthin’,

He jes’ keeps rollin’,

He keeps on rollin’ along.

He don’ plant taters,

He don’ plant cotton,

An’ dem dat plants ’em

Is soon forgotten,

But Ol’ Man River,

He jes’ keeps rollin’ along.

You an’ me, we sweat an strain,

Body all achin’ an’ racked wid pain –

Tote dat barge!

Lift dat bale!

Git a little drunk,

An’ you land in jail…

Ah gits weary

An’ sick of tryin’;

Ah’m tired of livin’

An’ skeered of dyin’,

But Ol’ Man River,

He jes’ keeps rollin’ along.

(BARGE MEN enter, pulling rope, during the following

verse. The curtains close in, leaving JOE and MALE CHORUS

in front, in one)

Colored folk work on de Mississippi

Colored folk work while de white folks play,

Pullin’ dem boats from de dawn to sunset,

Gittin’ no rest till de Judgement Day.

MEN

Don’ look up

An’ don’ look down

You don’ dast make

De white boss frown.

Bend your knees

An’ bow your head,

An’ pull dat rope

Until yo’ dead.

JOE

Let me go ‘way from the Mississippi

Let me go ‘way from de white man boss;

Show me dat stream called de river Jordan,

Dat’s de ol’ stream dat I long to cross.

MEN

Ol’ Man River,

Dat Ol’ Man River,

He mus’ know sumpin’

But don’t say nuthin’,

He jes’ keeps rollin’,

He keeps on rollin’ along.

JOE

Long ol’ river forever keeps rollin’ on…

MEN

He don’ plant taters,

He don’ plant cotton,

An’ dem dat plants ’em

Is soon forgotten,

But Ol’ Man River,

He jes’ keeps rollin’ along.

JOE

Long ol’ river keeps hearing dat song.

You an’ me, we sweat an’ strain,

Body all achin’ and racked wid pain –

Tote dat barge!

Lift dat bale!

Git a little drunk

An’ you land in jail…

JOE & MEN

Ah gits weary

An’ sick of tryin’;

Ah’m tired of livin’

An’ skeered of dyin’,

But Ol’ Man River,

He jes’ keeps rollin’ along!

(BLACKOUT)

ACT ONE, SCENE TWO

(The kitchen pantry of the “Cotton Blossom,” a half hour later.

Chair and sugar barrel down L. Kitchen table up L. Cupboards and

shelves on back wall. Kitchen presumably off L. At rise, MAGNOLIA

is sitting on chair, right, day-dreaming. QUEENIE enters with a

pan of biscuits)

QUEENIE

What cher doin’ all by yourself, Miss Nola?

MAGNOLIA

Nothin’. Just waitin’. I wish Julie would come –

QUEENIE

Ah declare, ef de kitchen pantry ain’t de funniest place to be

meetin’ people.

JULIE

(whispering off stage)

Nola! You there? Nola –

MAGNOLIA

(same tone)

C’m on in, Julie –

JULIE

(entering)

I had a hard time getting here – I just missed being caught

by Parthy. Oh, look at Queenie’s biscuits!

QUEENIE

Now look here, Miss Julie. Dinner’ll be in five minutes.

JULIE

Oh, let me take a bite. Joe’ll help you make some more.

QUEENIE

Joe! Dat lazy nigger don’t help me – he’s always too ‘ tired –

ef dat feller ever tried to cook, he’d be puttin’ popcorn in

flapjacks so dat dey’d turn over by demselves!

MAGNOLIA

Sit down, Julie – I got to tell you something.

JULIE

(sitting)

I’m just dying to hear what it is…

(MAGNOLIA climbs on sugar barrel next to JULIE’s chair,

and squats, tailor fashion)

MAGNOLIA

Julie – I’m in love –

QUEENIE

(stopping in her action as she is reaching

to the shelf for a box of salt)

What’s dat? You says in love…?

(She laughs – much too boisterously to suit MAGNOLIA )

Why yo’ po’ crazy little gal – you got your first long skirt

and you in love!

(QUEENIE laughs even louder than before – which seemed impossible –

and exits into the kitchen with her box of salt)

JULIE

(taking MAGNOLIA’s hands in hers)

Tell me all about it, honey, who is he?

MAGNOLIA

I don’t know – he was standing on the wharf – and I was

standing on the top deck, and he looked so different

from anybody else and so – so beautiful.

JULIE

(snuggling MAGNOLIA’s head against her bosom)

Yo’ poor little lamb –

(JULIE is thoughtful. MAGNOLIA can’t wait for her comment,

and turns to her impulsively)

MAGNOLIA

Julie, he said he liked me – d’ye think he meant it?

JULIE

I don’t know, child – I don’t know as I like you to go fallin’

in love with some man that nobody ever heard of – suppose he

turned out to be a – be just a no-account river feller –

MAGNOLIA

But if I found out he was no-account, I’d stop lovin’ him…

JULIE

Oh, no, you wouldn’t – once a girl like you starts to love a man,

she don’t stop so easy –

MAGNOLIA

Couldn’t you stop lovin’ Steve if he treated you mean?

JULIE

No, honey, no matter what he did –

MAGNOLIA

Why do you love Steve?

JULIE

I don’t know – he’s such a bad actor on the stage, and he thinks

he’s so good – maybe that’s why I love him – you see, child –

love’s a funny thing – there’s no sense to it – that’s why you got

to be so careful when it comes creeping up on you –

MAGNOLIA

It’s like that thing you always sing when we take our walks…

JULIE

I know…

7.Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man

(sings:)

Fish got to swim, birds got to fly,

I got to love one man till I die

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine.

MAGNOLIA

That’s it…

(QUEENIE, re-entering, stops in her tracks and looks puzzled)

JULIE

Tell me he’s lazy, tell me he’s slow,

Tell me I’m crazy (maybe I know)

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine.

QUEENIE

How come y’all know dat song?

(JULIE stops abruptly, a swift terror steals across her face, and

quickly vanishes – succeeded by an expression of stolid caution)

MAGNOLIA

Why? Do you know it, Queenie?

QUEENIE

F’sho’ ah does – but ah didn’t ever hear anybody but colored folks sing

dat song – sounds funny for Miss Julie to know it –

MAGNOLIA

Why, Julie sings it all the time.

QUEENIE

Kin y’sing de whole thing?

JULIE

‘Course I can

(almost fiercely)

What’s so funny about that?

(She starts to sing in an attitude of defiance,

then lapsing into the “blue” spirit of the song)

Oh, listen, sister,

I love my mister man,

And I can’t tell yo’ why.

Dere ain’t no reason

Why I should love dat man –

It mus’ be sumpin’ dat de angels done plan.

Fish got to swim, birds got to fly,

I got to love one man till I die –

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine.

Tell me he’s lazy, tell me he’s slow,

Tell me I’m crazy (maybe I know)-

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine.

When he goes away

Dat’s a rainy day,

But when he comes back dat day is fine,

(carried away)

De sun will shine!

(QUEENIE goes on beating time with a spoon)

He kin come home as late as kin be,

Home widout him ain’t no home to me –

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine!

QUEENIE

(tickled to death)

Dat’s beautiful, Miss Julie –

JOE

(entering, eating an apple)

Was dat you, Miss Julie? Dat’s mah favorite song!

QUEENIE

(singing “at” Joe)

Mah man is shif’less

An’ good for nuthin’ too

(He’s mah man jes’ de same)

He’s never round here

When dere is work to do –

(Looking hard at JOE. Two COLORED SERVANTS enter from R.)

He’s never round here when dere’s workin’ to do.

JOE

He’s never round yo’ when dere’s workin’ to do.

(Another colored helper comes on from L. and listens, entranced)

QUEENIE

De chimbley’s smokin’,

De roof is leakin’ in,

But he don’ seem to care.

He kin be happy wid jes’ a sip of gin –

JOE

Why you all talk ’bout gin?

QUEENIE

Ah even loves him when his kisses got gin!

JULIE, QUEENIE & SERVANTS

Fish got to swim and birds got to fly,

I got to love one man till I die –

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine.

Tell me he’s lazy, tell me he’s slow,

Tell me I’m crazy (maybe I know)

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine.

When he goes away, dat’s a rainy day,

But when he comes back, dat day is fine,

De sun will shine!

He kin come home as late as kin be,

Home widout him ain’t no home to me –

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine!

JOE

While de birds fly, till de world dies,

I’ll love dat gal of mine

(Or else she ain’t my gal!)

She’s lazy and slow, crazy, I know.

Can’t help lovin’ dat gal.

(She’s jes’ as crazy ’bout me!)

When I goes away, all de rainy day,

An’ when I comes back, dat day is fine,

Yes, sister.

She kin come home as late as kin be,

Home widout her ain’t no home to me,

Can’t help lovin’ dat gal of mine!

TWO MALE SERVANTS

While de birds fly up in de sky

My gal loves me;

Dat’s why she’s true gal of mine

She may be lazy and slow as cold molasses, I know,

Can’t help lovin’ dat gal of mine!

When I goes away, dat’s lovin’

all de rainy day, dat’s lovin’,

An’ when I comes back dat day is fine,

Yes, sister!

She kin come home as late as kin be,

Home widout her ain’t no home to me,

Can’t help lovin’ dat gal of mine!

(MAGNOLIA has started to do the shuffle)

JOE

Look at dat little gal shuffle!

(MAGNOLIA dances. QUEENIE and JOE egg her on, ad lib)

JULIE, QUEENIE & WOMEN

He kin come home as late as kin be,

Home widout him ain’t no home to me,

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine!

JOE & MEN

She kin come home as late as kin be,

Home widout her ain’t no home to me,

Can’t help lovin’ dat gal of mine!

(BLACKOUT)

ACT ONE, SCENE THREE

8.Life on the Wicked Stage

ELLIE

Why do stage struck maidens clamor

To be actin’ in the drammer?

GIRLS

We’ve heard say

You are gay

Night and day.

ELLIE

Oh, go ‘way!

GIRLS

We drink water from a dipper,

You drink champagne from a slipper.

ELLIE

Tho’ it seems Crool to bust

All your dreams,

Still I must;

Here’s the truth I tell you:

Life upon the wicked stage

Ain’t ever what a girl supposes;

Stage door Johnnies aren’t rag-

Ing over you with gems and roses.

When you let a feller hold your hand (which

Means an extra beer or sandwich),

Ev’rybody whispers: “Ain’t her life a whirl?”

Though you’re warned against a roué

Ruining your reputation,

I have played around

The one night trade around

A great big nation:

Wild old men who give you jewels and sables

Only live in Aesop’s Fables.

Life upon the wicked stage

Ain’t nothin’ for a girl.

GIRLS

Though we’ve listened to you moan and grieve, you

Must pardon us if we do not believe you,

There is no doubt

You’re crazy about

Your awful stage!

ELLIE

I admit it’s fun

To smear my face with paint,

Causing ev’ryone

To think I’m what I ain’t,

And I like to play a demi-mondy role

With soul!

Ask the hero does he

Like the way I lure

When I play a hussy

Or a paramour,

Yet when once the curtain’s down

My life is pure,

And how I dread it!

GIRLS

Life upon the wicked stage

Ain’t ever what a girl supposes,

Stage door Johnnies aren’t rag-

Ing over you with gems and roses.

ELLIE

If some gentleman would talk with reason

I would cancel all next season.

Life upon the wicked stage

Ain’t nothin’ for a girl!

GIRLS

You’d be back the season after!

(DANCE)

9.Till Good Luck Comes My Way

(RAVENAL enters from the saloon, followed by MEN)

RAVENAL

The man who ventures with chance

Is the man who’s adding the salt, romance,

To a world

That otherwise is dark and drear.

The sane conservative lot

Have their fate secure in a guarded spot

Of the world,

They’re welcome to their drab career.

TENORS

It is all well enough to be grinning

While your winnings grow,

But when Fortune reverses her spinning,

Life is not a-glowing.

BASSES

It is easy to be grinning

While your stack is growing,

But when Fortune reverses her spinning

Life is not a-glowing.

ALL MEN

That is why we like to see

Someone who can be

Unconcerned and free

Like you.

RAVENAL

If I am losing today

I will take my loss and I’ll pay

For I know that in time my luck will turn,

It’s bound to turn.

Till good luck comes my way

I’ll play along,

While there’s a game on the highway

I’ll stray along

With just the turn of a wheel

Or the flip of a card as my guide.

I let fate decide

If I walk or ride.

Why sit alone with your sorrow

And kill the day?

There may be sunshine tomorrow

To fill the day.

While I’ve a heart and a brain

And my ebony cane

I can borrow

Until the day when good luck comes my way.

MEN

Never venture, never gain;

Men of caution, it is plain.

Fortune will change like an April day,

So we will wait till good luck

Will come our way!

RAVENAL

Never venture, never gain;

Men of caution, it is plain,

Live in vain,

So I will wait till good luck

Will come my way!

ACT ONE, SCENE FOUR

10.Mis’ry’s Comin’ Aroun’

(After a short prelude, the curtain rises.

The auditorium of the “Cotton Blossom,”

QUEENIE and the COLORED CHORUS are sweeping and

cleaning in preparation for the rehearsal to come.

JOE is polishing the brass rails)

QUEENIE.

Mis’ry’s comin’ aroun’,

De mis’ry’s comin’ aroun’,

I knows it’s comin’ aroun’,

Don’t know to who.

QUEENIE & WOMEN

Mis’ry’s comin’ aroun’,

De mis’ry’s comin’ aroun’,

We knows it’s comin’ aroun’

Don’t know to who.

JOE

Better hurry up dat cleanin’…

Cap’n Andy gonna rehearse soon.

QUEENIE

Who you givin’ orders to, shif’less?

JOE

You heared me… say, what’s a matter wif you

today, Queenie? You been snappin’ back at me

lak an ol’ mud turtle.

QUEENIE

I don’ feel right today. You jes’ lemme alone

an’ keep polishin’ yo’ rails…

SOLO VOICE

Heaven keep dat devil away.

TWO VOICES

Keep dat misery far away.

TWO MORE VOICES

An’ if he is a’comin’ today

ALL

Heaven, don’cha let him stay!

(MAGNOLIA and JULIE enter)

MAGNOLIA

Pa ain’t here yet.

JULIE

He will be in a minute – you get at your pianner.

MAGNOLIA

Oh, Julie, I hate to rehearse today. I’d rather

sit and talk to you about him.

JULIE

Well, you can’t now, honey. I’m goin’ to slip

backstage. I don’t want your ma to know we

been talkin’ together.

QUEENIE

Mis’ry’s comin’ aroun’,

So if you done any wrong

Den lift yo’ feet off de groun’

An’ fly away.

MEN

If you done any wrong

Jes lif’ yo’ feet off de groun’

An’ fly away, An’ fly away.

JULIE

Why you all singin’ dat song, Queenie?

QUEENIE

When I got out a bed dis mornin’,

ah knowed somethin’ was goin’ to happen.

JULIE

Well, what’s happened?

QUEENIE

Nuthin’… yet.

(sings:)

I knows misery’s near,

I don’t know why it is here,

Don’t know for who,

Don’t know for why,

Why dat misery’s near.

MEN

I only knows it’s near,

Don’t know for who,

I don’t know for why

Dat misery’s near.

SOLO BASS

I knows misery done come here.

(JULIE has by now walked up the steps to the stage. In spite

of herself, she has started rocking and swaying like the others)

JULIE

When I dies, let me rest

With a dish on my breast.

Some give nickel some give dime,

All dem folks is fren’s o’ mine.

ALL

On my back, in a hack,

In a fohty dollar hack.

No mo’ gin, no mo’ rum,

Oh, de misery’s done come!

JULIE

(suddenly hysterical)

Stop that rotten song!

(Everybody looks at her, awe-struck)

It’s enough to bring misery to us all if you

keep singing like that!

(There is silence. ANDY is heard off stage)

ANDY

Take her up, Rubberface!

(The roller curtain is raised revealing ANDY STEVE and

RUBBERFACE waiting for direction. PARTHY enters carrying

some costumes she is mending and takes a position on chair, L.)

What’s the matter, Julie? Anything the matter?

JULIE

No, just nervous, I guess. Going to start rehearsal.

ANDY

Might as well. While we’re waiting for Ellie and Frank

let’s skip right down to Act Three – we’ll take it from

where your sister just went out – that’s your cue –

y’ get up – got your part?

JULIE

I know it –

(JULIE rises and becomes an actress – totally artificial person)

“I wonder what can be keeping Parson Brown? He

promised to be here before dark, and the twilight

is fast fading into night.”

STEVE

“Miss Lucy, although I wear the garb of a parson”

(STEVE now steps out of character)

May I make a suggestion here, Cap’n? I thought it’d

be a good idea if while we was talking here for Frank

to pass by and peek in through the window like this.

(He pantomimes Frank sneaking by, and peering through the window

with a blood-curdling expression on his face. MAGNOLIA rises, like a

bright pupil in a classroom)

MAGNOLIA

Y’can’t do it! Room’s supposed to be on the second floor – Frank

couldn’t look in the window if it was on the second floor –

ANDY

I don’t think it’d be any good anyway –

MAGNOLIA

Julie let me study her part – I know every line and

all the business – if you forget anything, ask me –

PARTHY

You stick to the pianner, young lady – no play-actin’ for you –

(MAGNOLIA sits down at the piano. Enter ELLIE from stage L.)

ANDY

Here’s Ellie. You’re late!

ELLIE

I’ll explain later.

ANDY

Where’s Frank?

ELLIE

He’s comin’. Steve, I’ve got somethin’ to tell you.

(She runs over to STEVE. She seems nervous and worried.

She stands on tiptoe and whispers in STEVE’s ear. He is

visibly affected)

ANDY

All right, Steve – as long as Frank’s comin’ we’ll lead up

to the entrance – C’mon, Steve.

STEVE

(dazed, not able to think as fast as he’d like to)

Er – all right – er – “Miss Lucy – although

I wear the clothes -“

MAGNOLIA

Garb!

STEVE

(His voice seems detached from his thoughts)

“Garb of a parson” – “Beneath these sombre vestments there

is the heart of a man that beats for you alone.”

JULIE

(rising)

“Hamilton!”

(They embrace. STEVE whispers in her ear, apparently

what ELLIE told him. She looks at STEVE, horrified. ELLIE

takes one step toward her sympathetically. JULIE looks

over at ELLIE questioningly)

ELLIE

(half whispering)

They’ll be here in a minute.

ANDY

(reading script)

All right – embrace over – then what?

JULIE

Then – I say – I say –

ANDY

Prompt her, Nola –

MAGNOLIA

“Hamilton – my own, my own!” Papa! Look at Julie!

(JULIE has fallen limp in STEVE’s arms.

He places her on the bench)

ANDY

(running over)

What’s the matter?

STEVE

Julie’s sick.

MAGNOLIA

(running to her)

What is it, Julie?

ANDY

(puzzled)

Well, you better stop rehearsin’ an’ rest, so’s you’ll

be all right tonight.

JULIE

(in terror)

No – no! I can’t play tonight.

Don’t ask me!

(STEVE is standing at JULIE’s side and does not turn around.

His eyes are on JULIE, MAGNOLIA presses JULIE’s hair back on

her forehead)

PARTHY

Huh! Playing Fort Adams tomorrow – good a stand as we got –

probably won’t be able to open there neither if she’s as

sick as all that.

JULIE

(in a high strained voice)

I’ll be able to play tomorrow!

STEVE

(in desperation)

She’ll be all right as soon as she gets out of this town.

PARTHY

That’s a funny thing…

ANDY

Sure you won’t be feeling better by night time?

(WINDY shambles on stage L.)

JULIE

(flinging herself into STEVE’s arms – clinging to him, weeping)

No! No! Leave me alone, can’t you? Leave me alone!

(MAGNOLIA jumps up, frightened by JULIE’s sudden outburst)

ANDY

Sure – sure, we’ll leave you alone, Julie.

Hello, Windy – what you doin’ here?

(The little group turn toward WINDY. He takes his hat off

and rubs his head)

WINDY

Seems that skunk Pete’s been up to something. skinned out an

hour back, streaking toward town like possessed. He yanked

that picture of Julie out of the frame on the levee. I seen him.

ELLIE

(to STEVE)

I told you!

STEVE

I’ll kill him this time, the –

ANDY

Shut up.

WINDY

Just stepped down to warn you. I seen Pete coming along the

levee with the sheriff. He’ll be along now any minute.

ANDY

Well, let him come aboard; our license is paid.

JULIE

What are we going to do?

STEVE

Stay right here – you know what I told you.

(JULIE springs up from the bench and clings to STEVE.

He looses her hold roughly and from his pocket he whips

out a large clasp knife and opens it – all the women scream

but Julie. ANDY springs at STEVE but is shaken off)

ANDY

Steve! What are you doing with that knife?

STEVE

I’m not going to hurt her, you fool – leave me be –

I know what I’m doing.

(MAGNOLIA instinctively seeks shelter in PARTHY’s arms)

Somebody go out and keep them away a minute –

Hold out your hand, darling – it won’t hurt much

(He seizes JULIE’s hand in his left one and runs the

blade across the tip of her finger. He throws the knife

upstage. He bends his head and pressing his lips to the

wound, sucks it greedily. With a little moan JULIE falls

back onto the bench. STEVE looks off left. VALLON enters

left and goes up to the group. Some of the TOWNSPEOPLE

and COLORED SERVANTS have followed him in, and other

curiosity seekers edge in during the ensuing scene. JOE

appears in an upper box, wiping the rails)

VALLON

Hello, Windy. Captain Hawks do you acknowledge to be owner

of the show boat?

(ANDY clutching his whiskers steps forward. His voice

quivers in spite of an effort to be cool)

ANDY

‘Course I do. What do you want?

VALLON

Well, Cap, I have an unpleasant duty. I understand there’s

a miscegenation case on board –

MAGNOLIA

What’s he mean, Mama?

ANDY

How’s that?

VALLON

Case of a negro woman married to a white man.

Criminal offense in this state.

ANDY

No such thing – no such thing on board this boat!

VALLON

(producing paper)

Name of the white man is Steve Baker –

(All look at STEVE. He looks straight forward,

meeting no one’s eyes)

Name of the negress

(He squints at the paper)

Name of the negress is Julie – Dozier.

(He looks at group)

Which one’s them?

MAGNOLIA

(involuntarily)

Julie!

(She takes a step toward JULIE. but PARTHY holds her back)

STEVE

(stepping forward)

I’m Steve Baker

(points to JULIE)

This is my wife –

VALLON

Julie Dozier – my information says you were born in Mississippi.

Your pop was white, and your mammy black – that right?

JULIE

Yes – that’s right.

MAGNOLIA

But Julie – you –

VALLON

You two better get your things and come along with me –

(STEVE throws an arm around JULIE’s shoulder and faces VALLON)

STEVE

You wouldn’t call a man a white man that’s got

negro blood in him, would you?

VALLON

No, I wouldn’t. Not in Mississippi. One drop of

nigger blood makes you a nigger in these parts.

(JOE stands looking on dumbly)

STEVE

Well, I got more than a drop of – nigger blood in me, and that’s a fact.

VALLON

You ready to swear to that in a court of law?

STEVE

I’ll swear to it any place.

(takes a step forward, one hand outstretched)

I’ll do more than that. Look at all these folks here.

Every one of them can swear I got nigger blood in me

this minute. That’s how white I am.

VALLON

Well, I seen fairer men than you that was niggers…

still, you better tell that to the Judge.

WINDY

(clears his throat and steps forward)

Ike Vallon; guess you know’d me better part of

twenty-five years. I was keel boatin’ time you

was runnin’ aroun’ barefoot on the landin’…

now I’m tellin’ you, me, Windy McLain – that

that white man there’s got nigger blood in him.

I’ll take my oath to that –

(WINDY stands in silence)

VALLON

If it was anybody else but Windy – but I got this straight

from – well, from somebody who ought to know.

ELLIE

(all indignation)

From who? From a sooty-faced river rat named Pete –

and why? Because he’s been stuck on Julie here – and

she wouldn’t have anything to do with him.

ANDY

That’s right, sheriff. That gal’s telling the truth.

(VALLON waits quite a while before answering)

VALLON

Guess I got to take Windy’s word against this other fella –

(to PARTHY)

Mrs. Hawks, you look like a respectable woman.

PARTHY

I am.

VALLON

Do you all stand by what Windy just said?

ANDY

Why, of course we do. Windy wouldn’t tell a lie to save

his own life, you know that, sheriff –

VALLON

Well, I’ll take his word for it…

(He starts to go, but stops at entrance)

Only let me tell you this – don’t try to give your

show tonight with mixed blood in it – or you’ll be

riding out of town on something that don’t sit so

easy as a boat.

(VALLON turns deliberately, and exits off L. The eyes

of the crowd follow him, fascinated by the ominous

quality of his final speech. The heads then turn to

the central picture of the stage. JULIE’s head is

buried in STEVE’s shoulder. He keeps his arm around

her and stands immovable, with set expression on his

face, brave, grimly defiant. PARTHY looks on, contentedly

austere, waiting to see what ANDY will say about all this –

ANDY and MAGNOLIA, emotionally very much like each other,

find the situation quite beyond them – probably each has

a desire to run to the humiliated couple and join STEVE

in protecting JULIE – probably each is too afraid of

JULIE’s sensibilities. How can one tell how she will

receive anything?)

STEVE

You needn’t all look at us like we were a couple of

wild animals – we ain’t goin’ to hurt anybody – C’m

on, Julie. We’ll pack up our things…

(He releases JULIE. Her shoulders straighten bravely,

but her eyes look down and meet no one’s gaze as she

precedes STEVE to their tiny dressing room. R., and exits)

COLORED CHORUS

On my back in a hack,

In a fohty dollar hack,

No mo’ gin, no mo’ rum,

Oh de misery’s done come!

ANDY

(he has to take it out on somebody)

Well, what’re y’all standin’ around fer like a lot of tree

stumps – clear out, the whole lot of you – go on!

(They turn slowly, as dispossessed crowds always do.

A mutter, a whisper – they are gone. So are the lowlier

members of the cast who retire discreetly to their rooms.

ANDY stops one of them)

ANDY

Rubberface, write out a sign and get it hung up at the post

office. No show tonight. Leave enough cash to refund the tickets.

(to WINDY)

Windy – we pull out o’ here soon’s Rubberface gets back.

(WINDY turns and exits L., silent and grim. RUBBERFACE exits.

Only PARTHY, MAGNOLIA, ELLIE and ANDY are left on stage and JOE

stands in the upper box, fixed and dumb. MAGNOLIA leaves her

mother and starts walking slowly off stage L.)

PARTHY

Nola! Where you goin’?

(JOE exits from upper box)

MAGNOLIA

I want to see Julie…

PARTHY

You come back here this instant! No daughter of mine’s

goin’ to talk to that – that –

(running over and grabbing MAGNOLIA’s arm)

MAGNOLIA

(shaking her off almost savagely)

Let me go, mother! I’m goin’ in to Julie!

(She goes up and exits into JULIE’s room)

PARTHY

Well, Hawks, you see what your show boat has done to your daughter –

ANDY

I think the show boat’s made a damn fine girl out of my daughter –

PARTHY

I’m goin’ straight into that room and pull her away from that lyin’,

deceivin’ –

ANDY

(stopping her)

Now, wait a minute, Parthy – Julie’ll be gone in a few minutes and

it’ll all be over. Thing we got to do is figure out how we’re going

to give a show tomorrer night without Steve…

PARTHY

You’re just as bad off for a leadin’ woman –

ELLIE

(rising)

How about me? “Beneath this mirthful mask burns a soul -“

ANDY

(trying to head her off)

No! You’re a comedian. I was thinkin’ we’d let Nola jump in –

she knows all the parts –

PARTHY

Over my dead body. There never was an actress in my family and

there ain’t goin’ to be.

(FRANK comes up on stage. His hair is a little mussed – he

walks with exaggerated straightness, like a man who is trying

to carry his liquor. He is a little overloaded and a bit dazed)

ANDY

I just meant to put her in temporary. She don’t know much about

actin’, but she’s got a smile worth a million dollars.

ELLIE

Frank, where you been?

PARTHY

Tell Frank what a fine troupe he’s in –

FRANK

You mean – Julie? Know all about it – I was with Pete when he

told the sheriff –

ANDY

Steve and Julie are leavin’ – do you know any actor we could

pick up in Fort Adams to jump into the lead?

ELLIE

How about Frank?

(FRANK perks up involuntarily)

PARTHY

Fine leadin’ man he’d make, with that face and those flat feet –

FRANK

I never asked to play a lead, did I?

(impressively)

But if you’re lookin’ for a beauty, I got one –

ANDY

Who?

FRANK

There’s a feller I met in town – seems he’s got to

leave tonight and there ain’t no boats – he asked

me if we took passengers.

PARTHY

O’course we don’t take passengers –

FRANK

So I brought him along – he’s waitin’ outside –

swell lookin’ feller –

ANDY

Tell him to come in – let’s see him.

FRANK

There he is, looking at the pictures – I’ll bring him in.

(calling off L.)

Hey, Mister!… Will you come up here?

ANDY

Looks like a swell…

PARTHY

Looks like a river gambler to me –

ANDY

He’s got manner – the gals’d like him – Parthy,

(slapping his knee)

– I believe I’ll take a chance –

PARTHY

I declare, Andy Hawks, you’ll wind up in a lunatic asylum –

(FRANK leads RAVENAL to the center of the stage)

FRANK

Meet Captain Andy Hawks – this is Mr… er…

RAVENAL

Ravenal is my name, suh – Gaylord Ravenal –

of the Tennessee Ravenals.

(PARTHY sniffs – a little louder than the word

“sniff” suggests. RAVENAL turns to her raises his

eyebrows and turns back to ANDY. If PARTHY doesn’t

know her place now, she never will)

I thought, suh, if I could have a bed on your boat

tonight, I could pay you my fare tomorrow at Fort

Adams – I – er – expect a remittance, and –

(ANDY looks at PARTHY who nods a grudging affirmative.

ANDY acts on her endorsement)

ANDY

You ever acted?

RAVENAL

Acted!

ANDY

On the stage – acted – been an actor! We need a juvenile lead –

fifteen dollars a week – chance to see the world – no responsibility.

RAVENAL

Am I to understand that you are offering me the position of juvenile lead?

PARTHY

That’s what he means, young man. We don’t like to pick up actors

off the wharves, but we can’t be choosy jest now –

RAVENAL

Madam, your courtesy is only exceeded by your charm –

ANDY

(delighted to see someone score off PARTHY)

Ha-ha! Better take the job. Fifteen dollars a weekfound money –

no responsibility – a chance to see life –

RAVENAL

I’ve seen it.

(He turns upstage to FRANK and ELLIE JOE appears in the upper box

and watches the proceedings. At this point JULIE’s voice is heard

offstage R. MAGNOLIA runs down to center of the stage, followed by JULIE)

JULIE

Don’t Magnolia, please –

MAGNOLIA

(She is very decisive – very brave, despite the tremor in her voice)

Father – half an hour ago Julie was my dearest friend –

And she hasn’t changed a bit – to me –

(RAVENAL steps back. She doesn’t see him)

ANDY

(quietly)

O’course not, Nola.

MAGNOLIA

Then why are you sending Julie away?

JULIE

He’s not sending me, Nola dear – Steve and I want to go…

MAGNOLIA

If Julie goes, I go with her –

PARTHY

Well – that’s a nice thing to say!

ANDY

Now don’t talk nonsense, Nola – you’ve got to stay with your mother –

(RAVENAL turns, sees MAGNOLIA)

– no matter what – an’ another thing – I’m dependin’ on you to play

the leads till we get somebody –

JULIE

See, Nola – what a chance for you – I just know you can act.

(But MAGNOLIA has at last seen RAVENAL and she scarcely sees

or hears anything else. He bows slightly, not certain if

it is tactful to bow at all)

ANDY

An’ if this young man’ll play the juvenile lead – and if he’s

a quick study and wants to act opposite you – we could get

you both ready by tomorrow night –

(to RAVENAL.)

You a quick study?

RAVENAL

(gazing at MAGNOLIA)

Lightning!

(MAGNOLIA bows her head. STEVE enters)

STEVE

Ready, Julie?

(to ANDY)

Didn’t have time to get everything together, Cap’n –

if you’ll just bundle up our trash and leave ’em at

the post-office in New Orleans, we’ll pick it up –

ANDY

Need any money, Steve?

STEVE

No – guess we’ll make out all right – thanks. Good-bye.

ANDY

Good-bye, Steve.

(He shakes hands with STEVE. As STEVE takes his hand away

he finds some money in it. He starts to thank ANDY, but

ANDY motions him to be quiet in front of PARTHY)

JULIE

(to MAGNOLIA)

Goodbye, dear –

(MAGNOLIA runs to kiss her. JULIE turns her head away,

but holds MAGNOLIA close to her)

I’ll write to you – and you write to me

and tell me all about… everything.

(She looks straight over MAGNOLIA’s shoulder at RAVENAL,

then, with sudden impulse she jerks herself away and

runs to STEVE. As JULIE and STEVE exit, JOE calls

timidly from the box)

JOE

Goodbye, Miss Julie – Goodbye, Mars’ Steve –

JULIE

Goodbye, Joe

(JULIE and STEVE exit)

MAGNOLIA

Julie! Julie! Wait for me! Julie!

(ELLIE catches her. There is a dead pause. ANDY leads

her back. She looks up and sees PARTHY’s bewildered face)

MAGNOLIA

Mama – I’m awfully sorry I talked to you like that –

I – I loved – Julie so –

(FRANK and ELLIE exit L.)

ANDY

(clearing his throat)

Well – well – we ain’t got much time –

(picks up a manuscript of “East Lynne”)

Here, take this, Mr. Ravenal – I’d like to hear how you

handle dialogue – now the idea of this character is –

you’re in love with her, see? Now try it – jest a sample…

Come on, Nola –

MAGNOLIA

What’ll I do, Papa?

ANDY

You jest smile, Nola, that’ll get ’em.

(JOE, very thoughtful observer of the drama he has just

seen and is seeing – knowing in his wise old head that

this newcomer is going to change conditions on the

show boat, knowing there is nothing he can do to stop

the march of events in this puzzling river world,

falls back on his resigned philosophy, singing

softly to himself, “Ol’ Man River”, etc.)

RAVENAL

(reading mechanically)

Miss Lucy – will you be mine?

ANDY

No! Nothin’ like it! Nothin’ like it at all!

More feelin’! You love her! Goshamighty, man,

you love her. Now go on and tell her…

RAVENAL

I understand.

(This time he “feels” it – much more)

Miss Lucy… will you be mine?

(They look into each other’s eyes, then with a sudden

mutual impulse, they are in each other’s arms, in a long

kiss. ANDY chuckles, PARTHY paces the stage in a panic.

ANDY, noticing this, slaps his thigh and laughs even louder)

JOE

But Ol’ Man River,

He jes’ keeps rollin’ along!

(BLACKOUT)

ACT ONE, SCENE FIVE

11.I Would Like To Play a Lover’s Part

(The Box Office on the foredeck of the “Cotton Blossom.”

Three weeks later. Box office windows R. and L. Latter marked

“Colored.” Wide arch C. leading to the inside of the boat.

Just R. of arch MAGNOLIA’s picture – just L. of arch, RAVENAL’s

picture, featuring them as leading man and woman. Gang plank L.,

extending off stage to higher level.

At rise, a V-shaped group of girls, with apex at RAVENAL’s picture

and a corresponding group of boys at MAGNOLIA’s picture. They are

adoring their stage idols)

BOYS

Her face is fair to look upon,

She wins a heart with ev’ry smile –

(sigh)

And one could write a book upon

Her talent, rare and versatile!

GIRLS

No wonder we are thronging at

The gate for seats upon the aisle –

(sigh)

To sit and gaze with longing at

Our fav’rite leading juvenile!

BOYS

We bet that she’s in love with him –

GIRLS

We bet that he’s in love with her

BOYS

(wisely)

A stage career is seldom prim,

And such romances do occur –

GIRLS

Oh, why should she be havin’ all

The kisses of this gorgeous man?

The actor Gaylord Ravenal

Should lead a life Bohemian!

BOYS

Magnolia Hawks – enchanted name –

Your charm for me will never cease!

I’ll put your picture in a frame

And keep it on my mantelpiece!

BOYS

Would that I could be he

Having her play opposite me!

GIRLS

Would that I could be she

Having him play opposite me!

ALL

How I would like to play a lover’s part

With the girl/man I love with all my heart!

GIRLS

The kissing scene would be sublime,

We’d keep rehearsing all the time!

BOYS

To show my ardent fire

Would not require dramatic art!

GIRLS

Could I be his Ophelia for a day!

BOYS

If I could be her Hamlet –

What a play!

There’d be no melancholy Dane,

I’d make the role a jolly Dane.

BOYS

If I could only play her Lover’s part!

GIRLS

If he could only play my Lover’s part!

(short dance interlude, interrupted by ELLIE,

whose head appears in box office window)

ELLIE

Tickets on sale!

Better get ’em now!

Sellin’ out fast!

Better get ’em now!

GIRLS

(tugging at boys’ sleeves)

Tickets on sale!

Better get ’em now!

Sellin’ out fast!

Better get ’em now!

(musical interlude – stage business:

BOYS line up at the window – the GIRLS go back to RAVENAL’s

picture and stand there adoring it)

GIRLS

Would that I could be she,

Having him play opposite me!

Having him play opposite me!

(FRANK enters and sees the GIRLS. He is

sure he is going to make an impression)

FRANK

Misguided ladies, you will find

The haughty race of leading men

Are but a bane to womankind,

They’re fickle and unheeding men!

A heavy man is what you seek,

A wealthy clubman type, like me –

A fellow with a wicked eye –

You’re glad to meet me, so am I!

(He puts himself in the center,

in front of RAVENAL’s picture)

GIRLS

(apparently singing up to him)

How I would like to play a lover’s part

With the man I love with all my heart!

(FRANK smiles contentedly – he moves downstage.

But they, instead of turning with him, keep singing

up to RAVENAL’s picture. FRANK, not realizing this,

keeps his satisfied smile)

His clothes all fit him to the quick,

His hair is shiny, soft and slick!

FRANK

It’s always been my hobby

To look nobby, neat and smart.

GIRLS

(to RAVENAL’s picture)

You’re just the very fellow who will do!

FRANK

May I presume that’s meant for me from you?

GIRLS

(angrily going over to their escorts)

You zany in a checkered suit,

You silly oaf, you mad galoot –

You’d never do to play a lover’s part!

(GIRLS and BOYS dance off BOYS holding up the tickets

they have just bought. FRANK looks after them, humbled

chagrined. He goes up to the picture. He tries to strike

RAVENAL’s pose and to arrange his few hairs in the same

formation as RAVENAL’s luxurious locks. He strikes a

pose on the final chord)

12.I Might Fall Back on You

FRANK

Little girl, you are safe with me:

I can protect what’s mine;

I am a sturdy maple tree

And you’re my clinging vine!

ELLIE

Woods are just full of maple trees,

Cedar and oak and pine;

Let me look them over, please,

And then I’ll let you know

If you have a show.

After I have looked around

The world for a mate,

Then, perhaps, I might fall back on you!

When I am convinced

That there is no better fate,

Then I might decide that you will do.

FRANK

I am just an average lad,

Though no gift to womanhood,

Some girls say I’m not so bad!

ELLIE

Others say you’re not so good!

But if you are patient, dear,

And willing to wait,

There’s a chance I might fall back on you!

FRANK & ELLIE

After I/you have looked around

The world for a mate

Then, perhaps, I/you might fall back on you/me!

When I/you are convinced

That there is no better fate,

Then I/you might decide that you/I will do!

FRANK

I am just an average lad,

Though no gift to womanhood,

Some girls say I’m not so bad!

ELLIE

Others say you’re not so good!

FRANK & ELLIE

But if you are/I am patient, dear,

And willing to wait,

There’s a chance I/you might fall back on you/me!

(Two groups of GIRLS dance on)

GROUP 1

(to FRANK)

After she has looked around

The world for a mate

Then, perhaps, she might fall back on you!

When she is convinced

That there is no better fate

Then she might decide that you will do!

GROUP 2

(to ELLIE)

He is just an average lad,

Though no gift to womanhood,

Some girls say he’s not so bad,

Others say he’s not so good!

ALL GIRLS

(to FRANK)

But if you are patient, dear,

And willing to wait

There’s a chance she might fall back on you!

(DANCE)

13.Queenie’s Ballyhoo

QUEENIE

Is de theatre fillin’ up, Cap’n Andy?

ANDY

Yes, but there’s nobody in the balcony.

QUEENIE

Dat’s where de colored people sit.

ANDY

Well, why don’t they come?

QUEENIE

‘Cause you don’t talk to ’em.

ANDY

Whaddaya mean don’t talk to ’em? I ballyhooed

my lungs out this mornin’.

QUEENIE

People don’t remember dat long.

Dis is how to get ’em!

(COLORED CHORUS gradually enters)

Hey!

Where yo’ think you’re goin’?

Don’t yo’ know dis show is startin’ soon?

Hey!

Jes’ a few seats left yere!

It’s light inside an’ outside dere’s no moon.

What fo’ you gals dressed up dicty?

Where’s yo’ all gwine?

Tell dose stingy men o’ yourn

To step up here in line!

C’mon, folks, we’re rarin’ to go,

Is you or ain’t you seein’ dis show?

Get het up, dere’ll be no let up, here!

CHORUS

Listen to dat gal talk!

QUEENIE

You’ll be excited all night,

Grippin’ yo’ man an’ holdin’ him tight,

Two seats for twenty cents ain’t so dear!

(drawing them to her confidentially)

Story’s ’bout a lady in love,

Loves her man, but, Heavens above!

Dere’s a villain bad as you ever see.

CHORUS

Um-um-um!

QUEENIE

White outside, but black in de heart,

Swears dose two young lovers to part,

He’s de worstest scallawag dat can be.

CHORUS

Um-um-um!

(Her audience’s eyes are beginning to pop out.

She becomes mysterious)

QUEENIE

He tries to get her alone,

You hear dat little gal moan, Ol’ villain makin’ her groan

Wid woe!

CHORUS

What does he do?

What does he do?

Tell us!

QUEENIE

He tries to choke her to death,

Den when she’s almost out o’ her breath,

Somebody comes a-rappin’ at dat ol’ door!

GIRLS

Open de door, oh, Lord!

MEN

How does de rest of it go?

QUEENIE

(chuckling)

Is you’ or ain’t yo’ dyin’ to know?

Step up an’ buy yo’ tickets

For’ dis yere show!

(The chorus rushes to the box office window, L., buy

tickets from CAPTAIN ANDY. Presently he hangs up the

“Sold Out” sign. QUEENIE dances)

(BLACKOUT)

ACT ONE, SCENE SIX

14.Villain Dance

(Specialty dance by FRANK as the olio following “The Parson’s Bride”)

ACT ONE, SCENE SEVEN

15.You Are Love

(The upper deck of the “Cotton Blossom,” Later that night.

It is moonlight, just after the storm clouds have broken.

RAVENAL stands near a water barrel. He looks about, anxiously

awaiting MAGNOLIA. He blows on his fingers, and moves about

a little to take off the chill that is characteristic of

southern nights. He hears a noise. He peers into the darkness

and calls eagerly off L.:)

RAVENAL

That you, Nola?

WINDY

(off stage)

Nope – it’s me.

RAVENAL

(quickly filling dipper from water barrel to carry

on the illusion that he came out here to get a drink)

Hello, Windy –

WINDY

(entering)

Come over to take a look at the moorings –

(He crosses RAVENAL)

Kind o’ cool for you to be stayin’ out on deck, ain’t it?

RAVENAL

(just finishing drink)

Er – no – not at all – I’m very thirsty, that’s all.

(He fills the dipper again to prove it. WINDY exits, chuckling.

RAVENAL pours the balance of the dipper’s contents into the fire

bucket. He hears a whistle off stage)

That you, Nola?

(MAGNOLIA enters. She carries a porcelain water pitcher.

He flings the dipper away and rushes to her impetuously.

He embraces her)

How did you get away?

MAGNOLIA

I can’t stay long – I told Mother I’d fill her pitcher –

She’s waiting –

RAVENAL

(speaking rapidly, excitedly, impulsive)

Nola – we haven’t much time – listen,

I want to marry you – in Natchez tomorrow.

MAGNOLIA

But Mother –

RAVENAL

She’s going to be in Fayette all morning –

she told me so herself – there’s a lovely

little church in Natchez –

MAGNOLIA

But Father – what will he say?

RAVENAL

He will not oppose us – as a matter of fact,

he gave me the idea –

MAGNOLIA

What!

RAVENAL

Of getting married while your mother was away –

he knows how I feel – how much I love you – oh,

Nola, please – say you will –

MAGNOLIA

Oh, Gay – I want to –

RAVENAL

You can make me the happiest man in the world. I can’t

stand it this way any longer – these stolen seconds,

these little snatches of you! I want you all to myself –

forever. Nola, dearest – I want you with me wherever I go.

I want to show you a world you’ve never dreamed of –

cities, theatres, restaurants, people – and you and I

always together, looking on – and living in our own

lovers’ world.

MAGNOLIA

But Gay – you’ve seen everything in the world.

RAVENAL

I used to think so – until I looked into your eyes – and

then I knew that I had seen nothing – I hadn’t even lived.

Once a wand’ring ne’er-do-well,

Just a vagrant roving fellow,

I went my way.

Life was just a joke to tell,

Like a lonely Punchinello

My role was gay.

But I knew the joke was aimless,

Time went on, I liked the game less,

For, you see,

Somewhere lurked a spark divine

And I kept wond’ring whether mine

Would come to me.

Then my fortune turned and I found you.

Here you are with my arms around you.

You will never know what you’ve meant to me.

MAGNOLIA

You’re the prize that Heaven has sent to me.

RAVENAL

Here’s a bright and beautiful world, all new,

Wrapped up in you.

You are love,

Here in my arms

Where you belong,

And here you will stay,

I’ll not let you away;

I want day after day

With you.

You are spring,

Bud of romance unfurled;

You taught me to see

One truth forever true.

You are love,

Wonder of all the world.

Where you go with me,

Heaven will always be.

MAGNOLIA

You are love,

Here in my arms

Where you belong,

And here you will stay,

I’ll not let you away;

I want day after day

With you.

You are Spring,

Bud of romance unfurled –

You taught me to see

One truth forever true.

MAGNOLIA & RAVENAL

You are love,

Wonder of all the world.

Where you go with me,

Heaven will always be.

(MAGNOLIA looks up at him for a moment, then, of her

own accord, throws her arms around him. They kiss)

PARTHY

(off stage)

Nola!

(They break)

MAGNOLIA & RAVENAL

Good night – dream if you can –

RAVENAL

My wife –

MAGNOLIA

My man –

(She exits. He’s exultant. Fade out)

ACT ONE, SCENE EIGHT

16.Finale Act One

(The levee at Natchez. The next morning. This is a different

view of the same levee seen in Scene One. The “Cotton Blossom”

runs R. to L. across the back of the stage. There is some little

impromptu decoration adorning it. The stage is well crowded with

TOWNSPEOPLE who have come down to see the unusual spectacle of a

leading man and his leading lady being married. CAPTAIN ANDY,

with his fine flare for publicity has seen the value of this,

interest, and has placed an announcement in the town Post Office

issuing a public invitation to everyone to see the wedding –

so they all are here!)

GIRLS

Oh tell me, did you ever!

Did you ever hear of such a thing?

BOYS

The leading man’s about to give the leading girl

A wedding ring!

GIRLS

Her father has neglected none,

He’s asked us all to see the fun,

And since we are invited to

Attend, we are delighted to

Be there when these united two

Are plighted to

Be one!

BOYS

So, you see,

Romance can start

Upon the stage –

Romance like theirs

Is not for everyone!

(ANDY enters from the boat, all smiles

and dressed up to kill)

CHORUS

Captain Andy! Captain Andy!

My, but doesn’t he look fine and dandy!

Now Magnolia’s found her mate, you

Know we’re happy to congratulate you!

Thank you for inviting us to

See the wedding – it was friendly thus to

Let us share your happy day

And see you give the bride away!

ANDY

Accordin’ to the announcement you read in the post office you’re

all invited to the wedding of my daughter, Miss Magnolia Hawks,

to her leading man, the Honorable Gaylord Ravenal.

(cheers)

Bein’ as how y’all take such an interest in the doin’s of show boat

folks, I thought you’d like to see the happy couple playin’ their

own romance off the stage –

(cheers)

The bride and groom’ll be out in a minute – then we will all march

down to the church!

(cheers)

(As the ensemble takes up the waltz refrain here,

the various characters of the show boat troupe march

out in their go-to-wedding clothes – FRANK and ELLIE

are particularly elegant)

ALL

Happy the day,

When the hand of a maid has been won

By swift pursuing;

Happy the way

He has chosen to win her by bold

And ardent wooing.

Their’s a lucky fate

To be romantic,

We can hardly wait

To see the frantic

Looks of the bridegroom, and quakes

Of the bride whom he takes

Now or never, and makes

Her forever

The one and the only one

Who will take care

That his life’s not a lonely one,

While she’s the only one.

(MAGNOLIA and RAVENAL enter)

Happy the bride!

May the greatest of happiness,

Health and wealth attend you!

WOMEN

Lovely bride-to-be,

There are few

Wedded to anyone charming as you!

MEN

Lovely bride-to-be,

We’d take pride to be

Wedded to anyone charming as you!

NEGRO WOMEN

(coming forward, enthusiastic, but a trifle diffident)

Miss Magnolyer,

We always tol’ yer

We knowed you’d find

Your man who’d be lovin’ yer true!

MAGNOLIA

Can’t I share some of my happiness,

Dear friends, with you?

(All do the levee shuffle)

ALL

Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly,

I gotta love one man till I die,

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine!

Tell me he’s lazy,

Tell me he’s slow,

Tell me I’m crazy,

Maybe I know.

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine!

(buck-and-wing dance)

ALL

He can come home as late as can be,

Home without him ain’t no home to me,

Can’t help lovin’ dat man –

(Just as MAGNOLIA and RAVENAL get to the carriage,

a wild hysterical shriek is heard off stage:)

PARTHY

(off stage)

Andy!

(PARTHY rushes on, followed by VALLON and PETE)

VALLON & PETE

Stop them! Stop them!

PARTHY

Don’t talk to him! He’s a murderer!

ANDY

(impatiently)

Who?

PARTHY

(pointing to RAVENAL)

That Ravenal – he killed a man!

ANDY

(really frightened now)

God-a-mighty – when?

PARTHY

Last year.

(pointing to VALLON)

Ask him!

VALLON

(embarrassed)

He got off on self-defense…

ANDY

(viciously turning on PARTHY)

Then he proved he had a right to kill!

PARTHY

Are you goin’ to let your daughter stand there

and talk to a murderer?

ANDY

(exasperated)

Standin’ murderer be damned!

I killed a man when I was nineteen!

PARTHY

(overcome)

You killed – ?

ANDY

Yes – me! Now – are you comin’ with us –

or ain’t you?

PARTHY

Where’re ye goin’?

ANDY

To the church – they’re goin’ to be married.

PARTHY

Married to a murderer! Oh, my God!

(She faints)

VALLON

She’s fainted.

ANDY

Are you sure?

VALLON

She’s gone.

ANDY

Good! Now we can go on with the wedding!

(All cheer)

ALL

Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly,

I gotta love one man till I die,

Can’t help lovin’ dat man of mine!

(ANDY arranges the procession. The bridal couple are locked in each other’s arms as they march off stage and the curtain falls)

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