OVERTURE
(…which climaxes in the reveal of a large, striped vortex that seems to lead to infinity. The Cat in the Hat pops up in the center.)
ACT I
OH, THE THINKS YOU CAN THINK
CAT IN THE HAT
After all those years being stuck on a page,
Did you ever imagine you’d see me onstage?
Now I’m here, there is no telling what may ensue!
No, there’s no telling what!
But I’ll give you a clue….
(He slides down the vortex)
Oh, the thinks you can think!
Oh, the thinks you can think
If you’re willing to try…
Think invisible ink!
Or a gink with a stink!
Or a stair to the sky..
If you open your mind,
Oh, the thinks you will find
Lining up to get loose…
Oh, the thinks you can think
When you think about Seuss!
(The vortex swirls away. Seussian characters begin to climb out of the floor, fly down from the rafters, enter left and right).
CAT AND COMPANY
Seuss!
Seuss!
Seuss!
MEN
Seuss! Seuss! Seuss! Seuss!
WOMEN
Seuss!
ALL
Oh, the thinks you can think!
Any thinker who thinks
Can come up with a few!
CAT, HORTON, MAYZIE, GERTRTIDE, MAYOR, & MRS. MAYOR
Oh, the thinks you can think!
ALL
Think a trip on a ship
To the Vipper of Vipp
Or to Solla Sollew…
Think of beautiful schlopp
CAT
With A cherry on top-
ALL
You don’t need an excuse!
Oh, the thinks you can think
When you think about Seuss!
Seuss, Seuss, Seuss,-
Seuss….
Hmm!
ALL
Think!
HORTON
Of an elephant up in a tree
ALL
Think!
MAYOR, MRS. MAYOR
Of a person too tiny to see!
ALL
Think!
GERTRUDE
…of a bird with a one-feather tail
ALL
Going on adventure down a dangerous trail!
ALL
Think!
MAYZIE
…of a bird who flies off on a spree!
ALL
Think!
SOUR KANGAROO
…of a kangaroo, sour as can be!
ALL
Think!
SCHMITZ
…of a general crazy for war!
ALL
Think of a cat who pops up at your door!
CAT
How d’ya do and hello!
I’ll be running the show!
I’m your host and emcee!
ALL
He’s your host and emcee!
CAT
I’ll pop up Here and There
ALL
And you’ll never know where,
Who or what he might be!
CAT ALL
You’ll see! You’ll see!
CAT
Take a tip from the cat
And hold onto your hat!
ALL
‘Cause this ain’t mother goose!
CAT
Think right over the brink!
ALL
When you think about Seuss!
MEN WOMEN
Seu-u-u-u-u
Seu… Seu…
Seu-u-u-uss Seuss!
Seu-u-u-u-u
Seuss! Seuss! Seuss! Seuss!
CAT
An unusual story will soon be unfurled
Of an elephant trying to save a small world
And a boy from that world who has troubles galore….
CAT
Just think!
WHOS
From the Planet of Who
JOJO
And the smallest of small.
CITIZENS OF THE JUNGLE
To the jungle of Nool,
HORTON
And the largest of all
GROUP I GROUP 2
You think You think
And think and think and think and think
and think
And think and think and think and think
and think
And think and think and think and think
and think
And think and think and think!
and think!
ALL
Just think!
Oh, the thinks you can think
Think and wonder and dream-
Far and wide as you dare!
CAT
Oh, the thinks you can think!
ALL
When your thinks have run dry,
In the blink of an eye
There’s another think there!
If you open your mind,
Oh, the thinks you will find
Lining up to get loose!
Oh, the thinks you can think
BARITONES AND BASSES
Oh, the thinks you can think
ALL
Oh, the thinks you can think!
TENORS
Oh, the thinks you can think!
ALL
Oh, the thinks you can think
When you think about Seuss!
When you think about Seuss!
When you think about Seuss!
GROUP I GROUP 2 GROUP 3 GROUP 4
Seu-u-u-u Seu … Seu.. Seuss! Seuss!
Seu … Seu.. Seuss! Seuss! Seuss!
Seu-u-u-u Seuss! Seuss! Seuss!
Seu-u-u-uss Seuss!
Seuss! Seuss!
Seu-u-u-u-u Seu … Seu … Seuss!
Seuss! Seuss!
ALL
Seuss!
(Jungle drums begin. The “Jungle of Nool” is revealed. Horton the elephant is bathing in a jungle pool. The jungle citizens enter, along with the bird girls, a flamboyant “girl group” of the jungle )
HORTON HEARS A WHO
JUNGLE CITIZENS
Who who wah dah
Who who who wah dah dah dah
Who who wah dah
Who who
HORTON
On the fifteenth of May
In the jungle of Nool
In the heat of the day,
In the cool of the pool,
He was splashing
JUNGLE CITIZENS
Splash!
HORTON
Enjoying the jungle’s great joys
When Horton the elephant
BIRD GIRLS
Horton the Elephant
HORTON, BIRD GIRLS, ALL
Horton the elephant
Heard a small noise.
MAYOR (OFFSTAGE VOICE)
Help! Help!
BIRD GIRL #1
So Horton stopped splashing
He looked toward the sound
HORTON
That’s funny.
BIRD GIRLS
Thought Horton-
HORTON
There’s no one around.
BIRD GIRL #3
Then he heard it again
BIRD GIRL #2
Just a very faint yelp
HORTON
As if some tiny person were calling for help
MAYOR (OFFSTAGE VOICE)
Help! Help!
HORTON
I’ll help you
BIRD GIRLS
Said Horton
HORTON
But who are you, and where?
BIRD GIRLS
He looked and he looked.
He could see nothing there
HORTON
But a small speck of dust
Blowing past,
HORTON, BIRD GIRLS
Through the air.
HORTON
I say! How confusing!
I’ve never heard tell
Of a small speck of dust that is able to yell,
So you know what I think?
Why I think that there must be someone on top of that small speck of dust.
Some poor little person
Who’s shaking with fear
That he’ll blow in the pool!
He has no way to steer!
He’s alone in the universe!
I’ll just have to save him
Because after all,
A person’s a person, no matter how small.
A person’s a person no matter how-
HORTON JUNGLE CITIZENS
Small… Who who wah dah
who who who wah dah dah dah
who who wah dah
who who
BIRD GIRLS # 1,2,3
So, gently, and using
The greatest of care,
The elephant stretched
His great trunk through the air,
And he lifted the dust speck
And carried it over
And placed it down,
HORTON
Safe!
BIRD GIRLS
On a very soft clover.
BIGGEST BLAME FOOL
SOUR KANGAROO
Humpf! … Humpfed a voice.
‘Twas a sour kangaroo,
And the young kangaroo in her pouch said:
YOUNG KANGAROO (HAND PUPPET PLAYED BY SOUR KANGAROO)
“Humpf”
SOUR KANGAROO
Too!
SOUR KANGAROO
Why that speck is as small
As the head of a pin.
A person on that?
Why there never has been!
You’re the biggest blame fool in the Jungle of Nool
And I don’t care who I tell. The biggest blame fool in the Jungle of Nool,
YOUNG KANGAROO
And I think so as well!
SOUR KANGAROO
Maybe I’m nasty, maybe I’m cruel
But you’re the biggest blame fool
YOUNG KANGAROO
In the Jungle of Nool.
HORTON
It’s true. Please believe me! I tell you sincerely
My ears are quite keen and I heard him quite clearly
I know there’s a person down there. And what’s more,
Quite likely there’s two, even three, even four!
(The Wickersham brothers enter, cool and menacing. They are a trio of monkeys)
WICKERSHAM #2
Ha! Laughed a voice!
WICKERSHAM #1,3
Ha! Laughed some others!
WICKERSHAMS
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Laughed the Wickersham brothers!
Oh, he’s the biggest blame fool
In the Jungle of Nool
And monkeys like us should know.
SOUR KANGAROO
No, no, no, no!
WICKERSHAMS
We’ve been out on a limb
Lookin’ down on him-
WICKERSHAM #1
And he’s fat!
WICKERSHAM #2
He’s dumb!
WICKERSHAM #3
He’s slow!
SOUR KANGAROO
Uh huh!
SOUR KANGAROO & WICKERSHAMS
Elephants ain’t too swift as a rule
But he’s the biggest blame fool in the Jungle of Nool.
‘Cause he’s talkin’ to a speck – talkin’ to a speck –
To a speck of dust
WICKERSHAM #3
Blame fool in the Jungle of Nool
WICKERSHAMS & BIRD GIRLS & SOUR KANGAROO
Talkin’ to a speck – talkin’ to a speck –
To a speck of dust!
WICKERSHAM #3
Blame fool in the Jungle of Nool
SOUR KANGAROO
R-e-s-p-e-c-k!
Oh, please! Take that speck away!
ALL
Did you hear? Did you hear?
Did you, did you hear?
BIRD GIRLS
Through the jungle, the news quickly spread.
ALL
Did you hear? Did you hear?
Did you, did you hear?
BIRD GIRLS
He talks to a dust speck!
He’s out of his head!
CAT (as talk show most, ad libs to the audience)
Our topic today is “psychic elephants who he4r voices.’
Whaddaya think, folks…
Is the elephant off his trunk?
We’ll he right back with “speck”, “clover”, “dust”, “neighbor”, ‘who’….
(He holds the microphone to the clover for a beat)
Stay tuned – we’ll be right back!
ALL
Biggest blame fool
In the Jungle of Nool
(The cat interviews Gertrude McFuzz)
GERTRUDE
I’m Gertrude McFuzz, and I live right next door.
He’s never done anything crazy before.
ALL
Biggest blame fool
In the Jungle of Nool
GERTRUDE
He’s always been friendly and loyal and kind.
I just don’t believe Horton’s out of his mind!
ALL
Did you hear? Did you hear?
Did you, did you hear?
(Mayzie la bird is now interviewed)
MAYZIE
I’m Mayzie La Bird
And I live in that tree.
ALL
Did you hear? Did you hear?
Did you, did you hear?
MAYZIE
Enough about Horton. Let’s talk about me!
MAYZIE, BIRD GIRLS
Let’s talk about, talk about,
Talk about, talk about…
Me!
ALL (EXCEPT HORTON & GERTRUDE)
Talkin’ to a speck
Talkin’ to a speck
To a speck of dust
WICKERSHAM #3 SOUR KANGAROO
Blame fool in the Just a fool, just a fool
Jungle of Nool Just a fool
ALL (EXCEPT HORTON & GERTRUDE)
Talkin’ to a speck
Talkin’ to a speck
To a speck of dust
WICKERSHAM #3 SOUR KANGAROO
Blame fool in the Fool!
Jungle of Nool
HORTON
I just have to save them, because after all
A person’s a person no matter how small.
HORTON &GERTRUDE
A person’s a person no matter how…
ALL (EXCEPT HORTON & GERTRUDE)
Biggest blame fool
In the Jungle of Nool
In the jungle, anywhere.
Check the big nervous wreck
Who’s protectin’ a speck
When he knows there’s no one there!
WICKERSHAMS #1,2,3
Actin’ as if he’s holdin’ a jewel
SOUR KANGAROO
Somebody stuck a trunk on a mule!
Biggest blame fool
In the Jungle of
ALL SOUR KANGAROO
Nool, Nool, Nool! (riffs)
In the Jungle of Nool, Nool, Nool!
In the Jungle of Nool, Nool, Nool!
(All exit miss Gertrude McFuzz sings -“On the fifteenth of may” – Reprise, as she takes notice of Horton. He is left alone. He hears the cry again)
HERE ON WHO
MAYOR (OFFSTAGE)
Help! Help!
CAT
Then he heard it again.
That small cry in the blue.
MAYOR (OFFSTAGE)
Help!
CAT
Horton still couldn’t see them…
But I’ll show them to you!
(The cat holds a magnifying glass to Horton’s clover, and as he does, a large one descends and we see Mr. and Mrs. Mayor)
HORTON
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Who are you?
MAYOR
Well,
We’re who’s here.
We are Whos here.
Smaller than the eye can see.
It’s true, sir.
We’re who’s who, sir.
I’m a who and so is she.
MAYOR & MRS. MAYOR
We’re tiny little people
Blowing by in the air,
Wondering how and why
We’re on who,
The ti-iniest
Planet in the sky!
(The entire Who population enters)
WHOS
A-ladela-deladela who who
A-ladela-deladela who
TWO WHO SOPRANOS
Who!
WHOS
A-ladela-deladela who who
A-ladela-dela…
We’re Whos here,
Win or lose here,
Struggling to stay alive.
Each gust pro-
Pels our dust. Oh,
How the heck
Do Whos survive?
At any given moment
We could crash or be drowned,
Hitting the ground, oh my!
Here on who,
The ti-iniest
Planet in the sky
WHO MEN WHO WOMEN
Who! Who! Who! Who!
MAYOR
I’m the mayor.
WHO MEN WHO WOMEN
Who! Who! Who! Who!
MRS. MAYOR
I’m his wife.
WHO MEN WHO WOMEN
Who! Who! Who! Who!
MAYOR & MRS. MAYOR
Just imagine the Whos’ unusual life!
WHO FAMILY #1
Picture the tiniest houses and grocery stores.
WHO WOMEN
Who…
WHO FAMILY #2
Tiny umbrellas that drip on the tiniest floors.
WHO MEN
Who…
WHO FAMILY #3
The tiniest tunnels and tiniest streets.
WHO FAMILY #4
Miniature buses
With miniature seats.
WHO FAMILY #5
Miniature buildings
With miniature windows and doors!
HORTON
No smaller town than yours
(The Who marching band enters)
WHOS
We’ve got a marching band
That is small but grand
Oh, you ought to hear them wail!
(The band plays a few wild riffs on strange Who instruments)
WHOS
And the Grinch is here
And every year,
GRINCH
I re-enact my Christmas tale!
(He begins to declaim)
Every who down in Whoville
Liked Christmas a lot…
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville
Did not!
(As the Whos dance, Horton accidentally tips the clover at various angles, causing the Whos to teeter off-balance.)
MAYOR
Imagine a place that is tidy
And totally clean,
WHOS
Who…
GRINCH
Where even a Grinch
Wouldn’t dare to be
Totally mean!
WHOS
Who…
MAYOR
You think that it’s heaven on earth
Yes, you do!
But heaven on earth isn’t heaven on Who!
WHOS
Troubles on Who
Are the biggest that you’ve ever seen.
MAYOR
We’re on the brink of war, they say
WHOS, MAYOR
We’re going to war, and oh my!
MAYOR
‘Cause if we do, then here on Who
WHOS, MAYOR
Well, you can kiss Whoville goodbye!
MAYOR
Our skies are unbearably dark
MRS. MAYOR
And war is unbearably near…
MAYOR
And that’s not the end of our troubles
Here…
WHOS
For on the other side of town
The truffula trees were all cut down.
They once stood tall, in all their glory-
But that’s another story…
So here on who
We live in fear.
We’re drifting through space
And cannot steer!
A troubled and a tiny land …
Our future’s in your hand …
It’s up to
You, sir.
Please help Who, sir.
You’re the only one who hears.
You must, sir! MAYOR & MRS. MAYOR
Save our dust, sir! Save our dust, sir!
Now that we have reached
Your ears!
We’re tiny little people
Saying thanks in advance
Hoping perchance, you’ll try!
Here on Who,
The ti-iniest
Planet in the sky…
HORTON
I won’t let you down.
No, I won’t let you fall.
A person’s a person
No matter how small.
A person’s a person
No matter how small.
WHOS (gratefully)
Who!
(The Cat in the Hat “zooms in” to the tiny planet of Who with his magnifying glass, and we meet the Mayor and his family.)
MR. MAYOR
I’m the mayor of Who. Why I’ve just been elected.
And upright behavior is thus forth expected.
Yet here sits my son who’s sent home by his teachers
For thinking strange “thinks’ and inventing strange creatures!
MRS. MAYOR
We’re going to speak with your teachers today and I hope they have no thing too awful to say
If you’re hungry there’s schlopp in the frig-a-merator.
MR. MAYOR
We’re late.
MRS. MAYOR
Here’s a kiss.
MR. MAYOR
And well both see you later.
(They exit, Jojo sits. a clock ticks. time passes. after awhile he senses someone else in the room. the cat magically appears-)
A DAY FOR THE CAT IN THE HAT
CAT
You’re sad!
Oh dear!
Well, luckily for you
The cat is here!
Think of a day
That is rainy and gray
And as dull as they come.
And there is
Nobody there.
And you’re kickin’ a chair
And it’s oh so ho hum!
Nothin’ to do
And nobody but you
On a day that is flatter than flat.
Well, that is a day
For the cat in the hat!
Think of a house
That is small as a mouse
And as neat as a pin.
Oh, it’s so tidy and clean
If you know what I mean
And your folks are not in!
No one but you
Since a quarter to two
And you’ve sat and you’ve sat and you’ve sat!
Oh, that is the time
For the cat in the hat
(The cat in the hat brings on a large box. When he opens it, the cat’s helpers spill out.)
CAT
The cat in the hat in the hat
In the hat in the hat!
ONE HELPER
The cat
TWO HELPERS
and the cat
THREE HELPERS
and the cat
FOUR HELPERS
and the cat
CAT,HELPERS
In the hat!
Think of a day
That is rainy and gray
And I’ll show you some tricks!
‘Cause there is no one but you
And your folks aren’t due
Till a quarter past six!
Bounce on the brink
Of whatever you think
And oh, what could be better than that!
JOJO, CAT, HELPERS
And that is the fun
Of the cat in the hat!
(A dance break, in which the cat and his helpers get up to all kinds of mischief, including messing up house, spraying silly string, bouncing on trampolines and flying kites.)
CAT, HELPERS
You’ve got a mind
That is one of a kind
So why hide it away!
It’s time to open the locks
And think out of the box
And today is your day!
Bounce on the brink
Of whatever you think
And oh, what could be better than that?
JOJO, CAT, HELPERS
And that is the fun of the cat…
(The cat and Jojo realize that the parents are coming home. All quickly clean up the mess.)
CAT, HELPERS
In the hat!
(Jojo’s parents return)
CAT
The cat in the hat!
(The cat vanishes as the parents enter. Everything is instantly the way it was. Jojo’s parents tell him that he has been suspended from school for his wild “thinks.” after scolding him, they send him to bed.)
MAYOR
Now take your bath and go to bed.
MRS. MAYOR
And think some normal thinks instead.
(Mr. and Mrs. Mayor exit, leaving Jojo alone. as he sings, his bathtub appears. we hear water dripping.)