WILL I…? (Various Locations)
STEVE:
- WILL I LOSE MY DIGNITY? WILL SOMEONE CARE?
-
WILL I WAKE TOMORROW FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?
GROUP #1:
- WILL I LOSE MY DIGNITY? WILL SOMEONE CARE?
-
WILL I WAKE TOMORROW FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?
GROUP #2:
- WILL I LOSE MY DIGNITY? WILL SOMEONE CARE?
-
WILL I WAKE TOMORROW FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?
GROUP #3:
- WILL I LOSE MY DIGNITY? WILL SOMEONE CARE?
-
WILL I WAKE TOMORROW FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?
GROUP #4:
- WILL I LOSE MY DIGNITY? WILL SOMEONE CARE?
-
WILL I WAKE TOMORROW FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?
ON THE STREET
THREE HOMELESS PEOPLE:
-
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE RINGING
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE RINGING
OUT OF TOWN
SANTA FE
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE RINGING
SQUEEGIEMAN:
- HONEST LIVING, MAN!
-
FELIZ NAVIDAD!
HOMELESS PERSON:
EVENING, OFFICERS
MARK:
- SMILE FOR TED KOPPEL, OFFICER MARTIN!
HOMELESS PERSON:
AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOUR FAMILY
COPS:
- RIGHT!!
BLANKET PERSON:
- WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
-
I DON’T NEED NO GODDAMN HELP
FROM SOME BLEEDING HEART CAMERAMAN
MY LIFE’S NOT FOR YOU TO MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF ON
ANGEL:
- EASY, SUGAR, EASY
-
HE WAS JUST TRYING TO —
BLANKET PERSON:
- JUST TRYING TO USE ME TO KILL HIS GUILT
-
IT’S NOT THAT KIND OF MOVIE, HONEY
LET’S GO — THIS LOT IS FULL OF MOTHERFUCKING ARTISTS
HEY ARTIST! YOU GOTTA DOLLAR? I THOUGHT NOT!
SANTA FE
ANGEL:
- NEW YORK CITY —
MARK:
- UH HUH
ANGEL:
- CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
COLLINS:
- SING IT GIRL —
ANGEL:
- TIMES ARE SHITTY
-
BUT I’M PRETTY SURE THEY CAN’T GET WORSE
MARK:
- I HEAR YOU
ANGEL:
- IT’S A COMFORT TO KNOW
-
WHEN YOU’RE SINGING THE HIT THE ROAD BLUES
THAT ANYWHERE ELSE YOU COULD POSSIBLY GO
AFTER NEW YORK WOULD BE A PLEASURE CRUISE
COLLINS:
- NOW YOU’RE TALKING
-
WELL, I’M THWARTED BY A METAPHYSIC PUZZLE
AND I’M SICK OF GRADING PAPERS, THAT I KNOW
AND I’M SHOUTING IN MY SLEEP, I NEED A MUZZLE
ALL THIS MISERY PAYS NO SALARY, SO
LET’S OPEN UP A RESTAURANT IN SANTA FE
OH SUNNY SANTA FE WOULD BE NICE
LET’S OPEN UP A RESTAURANT IN SANTA FE
AND LEAVE THIS TO THE ROACHES AND M ICE
ANGEL:
- YOU TEACH?
COLLINS:
- I TEACH — COMPUTER AGE PHILOSOPHY
-
BUT MY STUDENTS WOULD RATHER WATCH TV
ANGEL:
- AMERICA
ALL:
- AMERICA!
COLLINS:
- YOU’RE A SENSITIVE AESTHETE
-
BRUSH THE SAUCE ONTO THE MEAT
YOU COULD MAKE THE MENU SPARKLE WITH RHYME
YOU COULD DRUM A GENTLE DRUM
I COULD SEAT GUESTS AS THEY COME
CHATTING NOT ABOUT HEIDEGGER, BUT WINE!
LET’S OPEN UP A RESTAURANT IN SANTA FE
OUR LABORS WOULD REAP FINANCIAL GAIN
ALL:
- GAINS, GAINS, GAINS
COLLINS:
- LET’S OPEN UP A RESTAURANT IN SANTA FE
-
AND SAVE FROM DEVASTATION OUR BRAINS
HOMELESS:
- SAVE OUR BRAINS
ALL:
- WE’LL PACK UP ALL OUR JUNK AND FLY SO FAR AWAY
-
DEVOTE OURSELVES TO PROJECTS THAT SELL
WE’LL OPEN UP A RESTAURANT IN SANTA FE
FORGET THIS COLD BOHEMIAN HELL
COLLINS:
- DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO SANTA FE?
-
YOU KNOW, TUMBLEWEEDS…PRAIRIE DOGS…YEAH!
I’LL COVER YOU (The Street)
MARK:
- I’ll meet you at the show.
I’ll try and convince Roger to go
ANGEL:
- LIVE IN MY HOUSE, I’LL BE YOUR SHELTER
-
JUST PAY ME BACK WITH ONE THOUSAND KISSES
BE MY LOVER — I’LL COVER YOU
COLLINS:
- OPEN YOUR DOOR, I’LL BE YOUR TENANT
-
DON’T GOT MUCH BAGGAGE TO LAY AT YOUR FEET
BUT SWEET KISSES I’VE GOT TO SPARE
I’LL BE THERE AND I’LL COVER YOU
BOTH:
- I THINK THEY MEANT IT WHEN THEY SAID YOU CAN’T BUY LOVE
-
NOW I KNOW YOU CAN RENT IT
A NEW LEASE YOU ARE, MY LOVE, ON LIFE — BE MY LIFE
JUST SLIP ME ON, I’LL BE YOUR BLANKET
WHEREVER — WHATEVER– I’LL BE YOUR COAT
ANGEL:
- YOU’LL BE MY KING
-
AND I’LL BE YOUR CASTLE
COLLINS:
- NO YOU’LL BE MY QUEEN
-
AND I’LL BE YOUR MOAT
BOTH:
- I THINK THEY MEANT IT WHEN THEY SAID YOU CAN’T BUY LOVE
-
NOW I KNOW YOU CAN RENT IT
A NEW LEASE YOU ARE, MY LOVE, ON LIFE
ALL MY LIFE I’VE LONGED TO DISCOVER
SOMETHING AS TRUE AS THIS IS
COLLINS:
|
ANGEL:
|
BOTH:
- OH LOVER I’LL COVER YOU
-
OH LOVER I’LL COVER YOU
WE’RE OKAY (At the pay phone)
JOANNE:
-
A DISMISSAL! GOOD WORK COUNSELLOR
WE’RE OKAY
HONEYBEAR –WAIT, I’M ON THE OTHER PHONE
YES, I HAVE THE COWBELL
WE’RE OKAY
SO TELL THEM WE’LL SUE
BUT A SETTLEMENT WILL DO
SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND CIVIL RIGHTS TOO
STEVE, YOU’RE GREAT
NO YOU CUT THE PAPER PLATE
DIDJA CHEAT ON MARK A LOT, WOULD YOU SAY?
WE’RE OKAY
Honey, hold on…
Steve, hold on…
HELLO?
DAD — YES I BEEPED YOU
MAUREEN IS COMING TO MOTHER’S HEARING
WE’RE OKAY
HONEY — WHAT?
NEWT’S LESBIAN SISTER
I’LL TELL THEM
YOU HEARD?
THEY HEARD
WE’RE OKAY
AND TO YOU DAD
YES — JILL IS THERE?
STEVE GOTTA —
JILL WITH THE SHORT BLACK HAIR?
THE CALVIN KLEIN MODEL?
STEVE GOTTA GO!
THE MODEL WHO LIVES IN PENTHOUSE A??
WE’RE…WE’RE OKAY!
I’M ON MY WAY
STEVE — JOANNE — THE MURGET CASE?
CHRISTMAS BELLS (Various locations, St. Marks Place)
FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE:
-
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE RINGING
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE RINGING
ON TV — AT SAKS
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE RINGING
SQUEEGIEMAN:
- HONEST LIVING, HONEST LIVING
-
HONEST LIVING, HONEST LIVING
HONEST LIVING, HONEST LIVING
ALL FIVE HOMELESS:
-
HERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO YOU
YOU’LL BE MERRY
I’LL BE MERRY
THOUGH MERRY AIN’T IN MY VOCABULARY
NO SLEIGH BELLS
NO SANTA CLAUS
NO YULE LOG
NO TINSEL
NO HOLLY
NO HEARTH
NO
CAN’T YOU SPARE A DIME OR TWO
SOLOIST:
- RUDOLPH, THE RED NOSED REINDEER
ALL FIVE:
- RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER
-
NO ROOM AT THE HOLIDAY INN — OH NO
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW
VENDORS:
- HATS, BATS, SHOES, BOOZE
-
MOUNTAIN BIKES, POTPOURRI
LEATHER BAGS, GIRLIE MAGS
FORTY FIVES, AZT
VENDOR #1:
- NO ONE’S BUYING — FEEL LIKE CRYING
ALL:
- NO ROOM AT THE HOLIDAY INN — OH NO
-
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW
VENDOR #2:
- HOW ABOUT A FUR IN PERFECT SHAPE
-
OWNED BY AN MBA FROM DOWNTOWN
I GOT A TWEED BROKEN IN BY A GREEDY BROKER
WHO WENT BROKE AND THEN BROKE DOWN
COLLINS:
- YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS
ANGELS:
- HUSH YOUR MOUTH, IT’S CHRISTMAS
COLLINS:
- I DO NOT DESERVE YOU, ANGEL
COLLINS:
|
ANGEL:
|
ANGEL:
- KISS ME — IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW
MARK:
- …SHE SAID, “WOULD YOU LIGHT MY CANDLE”
-
AND SHE PUT ON A POUT AND SHE WANTED YOU
TO TAKE HER OUT TONIGHT?
ROGER:
- RIGHT
MARK:
- SHE GOT YOU OUT!
ROGER:
- SHE WAS MORE THAN OKAY
-
BUT I PUSHED HER AWAY
IT WAS BAD — I GOT MAD
AND I HAD TO GET HER OUT OF MY SIGHT
MARK:
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT — YOU SAID SHE WAS SWEET
ROGER:
- LET’S GO EAT I’LL JUST GET FAT
-
IT’S THE ONE VICE LEFT — WHEN YOU’RE DEAD MEAT
THERE — THAT’S HER
MARK:
- MAUREEN?
ROGER:
- MIMI!
MARK:
- WO!
ROGER:
- I SHOULD GO
BOTH:
- HEY — IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW
COPS:
- I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS
MIMI & JUNKIES:
- FOLLOW THE MAN — FOLLOW THE MAN
-
FOLLOW THE POCKETS FULL OF THE JAM
FOLLOW THE MAN — FOLLOW THE MAN
HELP ME OUT, DADDY, IF YOU CAN
GOT ANY D MAN?
THE MAN:
- I’M COOL
MIMI & JUNKIES:
- GOT ANY C MAN
THE MAN:
- I’M COOL
MIMI & JUNKIES:
- GOT ANY X
-
ANY SMACK
ANY HORSE
ANY JUGIE BOOGIE BOY
ANY BLOW?
ROGER:
- HEY
MIMI:
- HEY
ROGER:
- I JUST WANT TO SAY
-
I’M SORRY FOR THE WAY —
MIMI:
- FORGET IT
ROGER:
- I BLEW UP
-
CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU?
MIMI:
- HOW?
ROGER:
- DINNER PARTY?
MIMI:
- THAT’LL DO
THE MAN:
- HEY LOVER BOY — CUTIE PIE
-
YOU STEAL MY CLIENT — YOU DIE
ROGER:
- YOU DIDN’T MISS ME — YOU WON’T MISS HER
-
YOU’LL NEVER LACK FOR CUSTOMERS
JUNKIES:
- I’M WILLIN’
-
I’M ILLIN’
I GOTTA GET MY SICKNESS OFF
GOTTA RUN, GOTTA RIDE
GOTTA GUN, GOTTA HIDE — GOTTA GO
THE MAN:
- AND IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW
BENNY:
WISH ME LUCK ALISON — THE PROTEST IS ON
COAT VENDOR:
|
JUNKIES:
|
SQUEEGIEMAN:
- HONEST LIVING
ROGER:
- MARK, THIS IS MIMI —
MARK/MIMI:
- HI
ROGER:
- SHE’LL BE DINING — WITH US
COAT VENDOR:
- HERE’S A NEW ARRIVAL
THE MAN:
- THAT IS AN OUNCE
VENDORS:
- HATS, DATS, BATS
COLLINS:
- THAT’S MY COAT!
COAT VENDOR:
- WE GIVE DISCOUNTS
MARK:
- I THINK WE’VE MET
ANGEL:
- LET’S GET A BETTER ONE
COLLINS:
- IT’S A SHAM
MIMI:
- THAT’S WHAT HE SAID
THE MAN:
- I SAID IT’S A GRAM!
COLLINS:
- BUT SHE’S A THIEF!
ANGEL:
- BUT SHE BROUGHT US TOGETHER
BENNY:
- WHICH INVESTOR IS COMING??
COLLINS:
- I’LL TAKE THE LEATHER
BENNY:
- YOUR FATHER? — DAMN!
HOMELESS & VENDORS:
-
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE RINGING
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE SINGING
I N MY DREAMS — NEXT YEAR
ONCE YOU DONATE YOU CAN GO
CELEBRATE IN TUCKAHOE
YOU’LL FEEL CHEERY
I’LL FEEL CHEERY
THO’ I DON’T REALLY KNOW THAT THEORY
NO BATHROBE
NO STEUBEN GLASS
NO CAPPUCCINO MAKERS
NO PEARLS, NO DIAMONDS
NO “CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE”
CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
NO ROOM AT THE HOLIDAY INN, OH NO —
CHRISTMAS BELLS ARE SWINGING
COPS:
- I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS
-
JUST LIKE THE ONES I USED TO KNOW
JINGLE BELLS — PRISON CELLS
FA LA LA LA — FA LA LA LA
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN
SILENT NIGHT HOLY NIGHT
FALL ON YOUR KNEES OH NIGHT DIVINE
YOU’LL DO SOME TIME
FA LA LA LA LA — FA LA LA LA LA
JUNKIES:
- GOT ANY C MAN? GOT ANY D MAN?
-
GOT ANY B MAN? GOT AN X? — CRACK?
I’M WILLIN’ — I’M ILLIN’
GOTTA GET MY SICKNESS OFF
C – D HELP ME
FOLLOW THE MAN FOLLOW THE MAN
FOLLOW THE MAN
JUGIE BOOGIE — JUGIE BOOGIE
FOLLOW THE MAN FOLLOW THE MAN
ANY CRACK, ANY X, ANY JUGIE BOOGIE BOY
ANY BLOW, ANY X, ANY JUGIE BOOGIE BOY
GOT ANY D MAN, GOT ANY C MAN
GOT ANY CRACK, ANY X, ANY JUGIE BOOGIE?
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY FIVE
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY FIVE
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY FIVE
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- NO WAY — TWENTY FOUR
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY FOUR
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY FOUR
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- NOT TODAY — TWENTY THREE
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY THREE
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY THREE
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN — IT’S OLD
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY TWO
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- TWENTY ONE
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- SEVENTEEN
ANGEL:
- FIFTEEN
COAT VENDOR:
- FIFTEEN
ANGEL & COAT VENDOR:
SOLD!
MARK & ROGER:
- LET’S GO TO THE LOT — MAUREEN’S PERFORMING
MIMI:
- WHO’S MAUREEN?
ROGER:
- HIS EX
MARK:
- BUT I AM OVER HER
ROGER:
- LET’S NOT HOLD HANDS YET
MIMI:
- IS THAT A WARNING?
ALL THREE:
- HE/YOU/I JUST NEED(S) TO TAKE IT SLOW
-
I SHOULD TELL YOU I SHOULD TELL YOU
I SHOULD TELL YOU I SHOULD TELL YOU
I SHOULD TELL YOU I…
ALL:
- AND IT’S BEGINNING TO
-
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO…
MAUREEN:
- Joanne, which way to the stage?
ALL:
- SNOW!!!
OVER THE MOON (The Lot)
MARK:
- Maureen’s performance
MAUREEN:
- LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM.
-
I FOUND MYSELF IN A DESERT CALLED CYBERLAND. IT WAS HOT.
MY CANTEEN HAD SPRUNG A LEAK AND I WAS THIRSTY.
OUT OF THE ABYSS WALKED A COW — ELSIE. I ASKED IF SHE HAD ANYTHING TO DRINK.
SHE SAID, “I’M FORBIDDEN TO PRODUCE MILK. IN CYBERLAND, WE ONLY DRINK DIET COKE.”
SHE SAID, “ONLY THING TO DO IS JUMP OVER THE MOON”
“THEY’VE CLOSED EVERYTHING REAL DOWN…LIKE BARNS, TROUGHS,
PERFORMANCE SPACES…
AND REPLACED IT ALL WITH LIES AND RULES AND VIRTUAL LIFE. BUT THERE IS A WAY OUT…”
BACKUPS:
- LEAP OF FAITH LEAP OF FAITH
-
LEAP OF FAITH LEAP OF FAITH
MAUREEN:
- “ONLY THING TO DO IS JUMP OVER THE MOON”
-
I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE! IT’S LIKE I’M BEING TIED TO THE HOOD OF A
YELLOW RENTAL TRUCK, BEING PACKED IN WITH FERTILIZER AND FUEL OIL,
PUSHED OVER A CLIFF BY A SUICIDAL MICKEY MOUSE! — I’VE GOTTA FIND A WAY
TO JUMP OVER THE MOON
“ONLY THING TO DO IS
JUMP OVER THE MOON”
THEN A LITTLE BULLDOG ENTERED. HIS NAME (WE HAVE LEARNED) WAS BENNY.
AND ALTHOUGH HE ONCE HAD PRINCIPLES, HE ABANDONED THEM TO LIVE AS A LAP DOG TO A WEALTHY DAUGHTER OF THE REVOLUTION.
“THAT’S BULL,” HE SAID. “EVER SINCE THE CAT TOOK UP THE FIDDLE, THAT COW’S BEEN JUMPY.
AND THE DISH AND SPOON WERE EVICTED FROM THE TABLE–AND ELOPED…
SHE’S HAD TROUBLE WITH THAT MILK AND THE MOON EVER SINCE. MAYBE IT’S A FEMALE THING.
‘CAUSE WHO’D WANT TO LEAVE CYBERLAND ANYWAY?…WALLS AIN’T SO BAD.
THE DISH AND SPOON FOR INSTANCE. THEY WERE DOWN ON THEIR LUCK — KNOCKED ON MY DOGHOUSE DOOR.
I SAID, “NOT IN MY BACKYARD, UTENSILS! GO BACK TO CHINA!”
“THE ONLY WAY OUT IS UP,” ELSIE WHISPERED TO ME. “A LEAP OF FAITH.
STILL THIRSTY?” SHE ASKED. PARCHED. “HAVE SOME MILK.”
I LOWERED MYSELF BENEATH HER AND HELD MY MOUTH TO HER SWOLLEN UDDER AND SUCKED THE SWEETEST MILK I’D EVER TASTED.
“CLIMB ON BOARD,” SHE SAID. AND AS A HARVEST MOON ROSE OVER CYBERLAND,
WE REARED BACK AND SPRANG INTO A GALLOP. LEAPING OUT OF ORBIT!!!I AWOKE SINGING
ONLY THING TO DO
ONLY THING TO DO IS JUMP
ONLY THING TO DO IS JUMP OVER THE MOON
ONLY THING TO DO IS JUMP OVER THE MOON
OVER THE MOON — OVER THE
MOOOOOOOO
MOOOOOOOO
MOOOOOOOO
MOOOOOOOO
MOO WITH ME
Thank you.
LA VIE BOHEME (Life Café)
RESTAURANT MAN:
- NO PLEASE NO
-
NOT TONIGHT PLEASE NO
MISTER — CAN’T YOU GO
NOT TONIGHT — CAN’T HAVE A SCENE
ROGER:
- WHAT?
RESTAURANT MAN:
- GO, PLEASE, GO;
-
YOU — HELLO, SIR–
I SAID NO
IMPORTANT CUSTOMER
MARK:
- WHAT AM I — JUST A BLUR?
RESTAURANT MAN:
- YOU SIT ALL NIGHT — YOU NEVER BUY!
MARK:
- THAT’S A LIE — THAT’S A LIE
-
I HAD A TEA THE OTHER DAY
RESTAURANT MAN:
- YOU COULDN’T PAY!
MARK:
- OH YEAH
COLLINS:
- BENJAMIN COFFIN III — HERE?
RESTAURANT MAN:
- OH NO!
ALL:
- WINE AND BEER!
MAUREEN:
- THE ENEMY OF AVENUE A — WE’LL STAY
RESTAURANT MAN:
- OIY VEY!
COLLINS:
- WHAT BRINGS A MOGUL IN HIS OWN MIND TO THE LIFE CAFE?
BENNY:
- I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST
-
TO MAUREEN’S NOBLE TRY — IT WENT WELL
MAUREEN:
- GO TO HELL
BENNY:
- WAS THE YUPPY SCUM STOMPED?
-
NOT COUNTING THE HOMELESS HOW MANY TICKETS WEREN’T COMP’ED?
ROGER:
- WHY DID MUFFY —
BENNY:
- ALISON
ROGER:
- MISS THE SHOW?
BENNY:
- THERE WAS A DEATH IN THE FAMILY IF YOU MUST KNOW
ANGEL:
- WHO DIED?
BENNY:
- OUR AKITA
BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS:
EVITA
BENNY:
- MIMI — I’M SURPRISED
-
A BRIGHT AND CHARMING GIRL LIKE YOU
HANGS OUT WITH THESE SLACKERS
(WHO DON’T ADHERE TO DEALS)
THEY MAKE FUN — YET I AM THE ONE
ATTEMPTING TO DO SOME GOOD
OR DO YOU REALLY WANT A NEIGHBOURHOOD
WHERE PEOPLE PISS ON YOUR STOOP EVERY NIGHT?
BOHEMIA, BOHEMIA’S A FALLACY IN YOUR HEAD
THIS IS CALCUTTA — BOHEMIA IS DEAD
MARK:
- DEARLY BELOVED WE GATHER HERE TO SAY OUR GOODBYES
COLLINS & ROGER:
- DIES IRAE — DIES ILLA
-
KYRIE ELEISON
YITGADAL V’ YITKADASH (ETC.)
MARK:
- HERE SHE LIES
-
NO ONE KNEW HER WORTH
THE LATE GREAT DAUGHTER OF MOTHER EARTH
ON THIS NIGHT WHEN WE CELEBRATE THE BIRTH
IN THAT LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM
WE RAISE OUR GLASS — YOU BET YOUR ASS TO —
LA VIE BOHEME
ALL:
- LA VIE BOHEME
-
LA VIE BOHEME
LA VIE BOHEME
LA VIE BOHEME
MARK:
- TO DAYS OF INSPIRATION
-
PLAYING HOOKEY, MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING
THE NEED TO EXPRESS — TO COMMUNICATE
TO GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN
GOING INSANE, GOING MAD
TO LOVING TENSION, NO PENSION
TO MORE THAN ONE DIMENSION
TO STARVING FOR ATTENTION
HATING CONVENTION, HATING PRETENSION
NOT TO MENTION OF COURSE HATING DEAR OLD MOM AND DAD
TO RIDING YOUR BIKE, MIDDAY PAST THE THREE PIECE SUITS —
TO FRUITS — TO NO ABSOLUTES — TO ABOLUT — TO CHOICE
TO THE VILLAGE VOICE — TO ANY PASSING FAD
TO BEING AN US — FOR ONCE — INSTEAD OF A THEM
ALL:
- LA VIE BOHEME
-
LA VIE BOHEME
MAUREEN:
- IS THE EQUIPMENT IN A PYRAMID?
JOANNE:
- IT IS, MAUREEN
MAUREEN:
- THE MIXER DOESN’T HAVE A CASE
-
DON’T GIVE ME THAT FACE
MR. GREY:
- AHHEMM
MAUREEN:
- HEY MISTER — SHE’S MY SISTER
RESTAURANT MAN:
- SO THAT’S FIVE MISO SOUP, FOUR SEAWEED SALAD
-
THREE SOY BURGER DINNER, TWO TOFU DOG PLATTER
AND ONE PASTA WITH MEATLESS BALLS
BOY:
- UGH
COLLINS:
- IT TASTES THE SAME
MIMI:
- IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES
RESTAURANT MAN:
- AND THIRTEEN ORDERS OF FRIES
-
IS THAT IT HERE?
ALL:
- WINE AND BEER!
MIMI & ANGEL:
- TO HAND-CRAFTED BEERS MADE IN LOCAL BREWERIES
-
TO YOGA, TO YOGURT, TO RICE AND BEANS AND CHEESE
TO LEATHER, TO DILDOS, TO CURRY VINDALOO
TO HOOVES RANCHERS AND MAYA ANGELO
MAUREEN & COLLINS:
-
CREATION, VACATION
EMOTION, DEVOTION, TO CAUSING A COMMOTION
MARK:
- MUCH MASTURBATION
MAUREEN & COLLINS:
COMPASSION, TO FASHION, TO PASSION WHEN IT’S NEW
COLLINS:
- TO SON TAG
ANGEL:
- TO SONDHEIM
FOUR PEOPLE:
- TO ANYTHING TABOO
COLLINS & ROGER:
- GINSBERG, DYLAN, CUNNINGHAM AND CAGE
COLLINS:
- LENNY BRUCE
ROGER:
- LANGSTON HUGHES
MAUREEN:
- TO THE STAGE
PERSON #1:
- TO USA
PERSON #2:
- TO BUDDHA
PERSON #3:
- PABLO NERD, TOO
MARK & MIMI:
- WHY DOROTHY AND TOT WENT OVER THE RAINBOW
-
TO BLOW OFF AUNTIE EM
ALL:
- LA VIE BOHEME
MAUREEN:
- AND WIPE THE SPEAKERS OFF BEFORE YOU PACK
JOANNE:
- YES, MAUREEN
MAUREEN:
- WELL — HURRY BACK
MR. GREY:
- SISTER?
MAUREEN:
- WE’RE CLOSE
ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK, MR. GREY:
BROTHERS!
MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS:
-
CARCINOGENS, HALLUCINOGENS, MEN
PEE WEE HERMAN
GERMAN WINE, TURPENTINE, GERTRUDE STEIN
ANTOINOINI, BERTOLUCCI, QUERIES, CARMINE BYRON
BISEXUALS, TRISEXUALS, HOME SAPIENS
ALL:
- TO APATHY, TO ENTROPY, TO EMPATHY, ECSTASY
-
VACLAV HOVEL — THE SEX PISTOLS, AB
TO NO SHAME — NEVER PLAYING THE FAME GAME
COLLINS:
- TO MARIJUANA
ALL:
- TO SODOMY — IT’S BETWEEN GOD AND ME, TO S & M
BENNY:
- WAITER…WAITER…WAITER…
ALL:
- LA VIE BOHEME
COLLINS:
- In honor of the death of Bohemia, an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner… Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap willperform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.
ROGER:
- Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on the high holy days.
MARK:
- Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the 11thStreet lot, will sing native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied.
BENNY:
- YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT US?
MIMI:
- THERE’S NOTHING TO KNOW
BENNY:
- DON’T YOU THINK THAT WE SHOULD DISCUSS?
MIMI:
- IT WAS THREE MONTHS AGO
BENNY:
- HE DOESN’T ACT LIKE HE’S WITH YOU
MIMI:
- WE’RE TAKING IT SLOW
BENNY:
- WHERE IS HE NOW?
MIMI:
- HE’S RIGHT — HMM
BENNY:
- UH HUH
MIMI:
- WHERE’D HE GO?
MARK:
- Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet evocative song.
-
(Roger picks up a guitar and plays)
That doesn’t remind us of Muzetta’s waltz.
COLLINS:
- Angel Dumott-Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub
ANGEL:
- And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist — including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcast the words —
ALL:
- ACTUAL REALITY — ACT UP — FIGHT AIDS!
BENNY:
- CHECK!!
MIMI:
- EXCUSE ME, DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?
-
I GET INVITED — THEN IGNORED — ALL NIGHT LONG!
ROGER:
- I’VE BEEN TRYING — I’M NOT LYING
-
NO ONE’S PERFECT. I’VE GOT BAGGAGE
MIMI:
- LIFE’S TOO SHORT, BABE — TIME IS FLYING
-
I’M LOOKING FOR BAGGAGE THAT GOES WITH MINE
ROGER:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU —
MIMI:
- I’VE GOT BAGGAGE TOO
ROGER:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU —
MIMI:
- BAGGAGE, WINE —
OTHERS:
- AND BEER!
MIMI:
- AZT BREAK
ROGER:
- YOU?
MIMI:
- ME. YOU?
ROGER:
- MIMI
I SHOULD TELL YOU
ROGER:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU I’M DISASTER
-
I FORGET HOW TO BEGIN IT
MIMI:
- LET’S JUST MAKE THIS PART GO FASTER
-
I HAVE YET TO BE IN IT — I SHOULD TELL YOU
ROGER:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU
MIMI:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU
ROGER:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU
MIMI:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU I BLEW THE CANDLE OUT JUST TO GET BACK IN
ROGER:
- I’D FORGOTTEN HOW TO SMILE UNTIL YOUR CANDLE BURNED MY SKIN
MIMI:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU
ROGER:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU
MIMI:
- I SHOULD TELL YOU
BOTH:
- I SHOULD TELL
-
WELL, HERE WE GO
NOW WE —
MIMI:
- OH NO
ROGER:
- I KNOW — THIS SOMETHING IS — HERE GOES —
MIMI:
- HERE GOES
ROGER:
- GUESS SO — IT’S STARTING TO — WHO KNOWS —
MIMI:
- WHO KNOWS
BOTH:
- WHO KNOWS WHERE
-
WHO GOES THERE
WHO KNOWS
HERE GOES
TRUSTING DESIRE — STARTING TO LEARN
WALKING THROUGH FIRE WITHOUT A BURN
CLINGING — A SHOULDER, A LEAP BEGINS
STINGING AND OLDER, ASLEEP ON PINS
SO HERE WE GO — NOW WE —
ROGER:
- OH NO
MIMI:
- I KNOW
ROGER:
- OH NO
BOTH:
- WHO KNOWS WHERE — WHO GOES THERE
-
HERE GOES — HERE GOES
HERE GOES — HERE GOES
HERE GOES — HERE GOES
LA VIE BOHEME B
MAUREEN:
- Are we packed?
JOANNE:
- Yes. And my next week I want you to be
MAUREEN:
- Pookie?
JOANNE:
- AND YOU SHOULD KNOW
-
THEY’VE PADLOCKED YOUR BUILDING
AND THEY’RE RIOTING ON AVENUE B
BENNY CALLED THE COPS
MAUREEN:
- THAT FUCK!
JOANNE:
- THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING
-
THE COPS ARE SWEEPING THE LOT
BUT NO ONE’S LEAVING
THEY’RE JUST SITTING THERE, MOOING!
ALL:
- YEAH!
-
TO DANCE
A GIRL:
- NO WAY TO MAKE A LIVING, MASOCHISM, PAIN, PERFECTION
-
MUSCLE SPASM, CHIROPRACTORS,
SHORT CAREERS, EATING DISORDERS
ALL:
- FILM
MARK:
- ADVENTURE, TEDIUM, NO FAMILY, BORING LOCATIONS
-
DARK ROOMS, PERFECT FACES, EGOS
MONEY, HOLLYWOOD AND SLEAZE
ALL:
- MUSIC
ANGEL:
- FOOD OF LOVE, EMOTION, MATHEMATICS, ISOLATION
-
RHYTHM, FEELING, POWER, HARMONY AND HEAVY COMPETITION
ALL:
- ANARCHY
COLLINS & MAUREEN:
- REVOLUTION, JUSTICE, SCREAMING FOR SOLUTIONS
-
FORCING CHANGES, RISK AND DANGER
MAKING NOISE AND MAKING PLEASE
ALL:
- TO FAGGOTS, LEZZIES, DYKES, CROSS DRESSERS TOO
MAUREEN:
- TO ME
MARK:
- TO ME
COLLINS & ANGEL:
- TO ME
ALL:
- TO YOU, AND YOU AND YOU, YOU AND YOU
-
TO PEOPLE LIVING WITH, LIVING WITH, LIVING WITH
NOT DYING FROM DISEASE
LET HE AMONG US WITHOUT SIN
BE THE FIRST TO CONDEMN
LA VIE BOHEME
LA VIE BOHEME
LA VIE BOHEME
MARK:
|
ALL:
|
ALL:
- LA VIE BOHEME
MARK:
- The riot continues.
The Christmas tree goes up in flames.
The snow dances.
Oblivious, Mimi and Roger exchange a small, lovely kiss.
ALL:
- VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!