Life Support – Rent

TODAY 4 U (The loft)

MARK:

• Enter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist, who

  ran naked through the Parthenon.

MARK & COLLINS:

BUSTELO — MARLBORO

• BANANA BY THE BUNCH

  A BOX OF CAPTAIN CRUNCH WILL TASTE SO GOOD

COLLINS:

AND FIREWOOD

MARK:

LOOK — IT’S SANTA CLAUS

COLLINS:

HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE

ROGER:

OH HI!

COLLINS:

“OH HI” AFTER SEVEN MONTHS?

ROGER:

SORRY

COLLINS:

THIS BOY COULD USE SOME STOLI

COLLINS, MARK & ROGER:

OH HOLY NIGHT

ROGER:

YOU STRUCK GOLD AT MIT?

COLLINS:

THEY EXPELLED ME FOR MY THEORY OF ACTUAL REALITY

• WHICH I’LL SOON IMPART

  TO THE COUCH POTATOES AT NEW YORK UNIVERSITY

  STILL HAVEN’T LEFT THE HOUSE?

ROGER:

I WAS WAITING FOR YOU, DON’T YOU KNOW?

COLLINS:

WELL, TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT

COME TO THE LIFE CAFE AFTER MAUREEN’S SHOW

MARK & ROGER:

NO FLOW

COLLINS:

GENTLEMEN, OUR BENEFACTOR ON THIS CHRISTMAS EVE

• WHOSE CHARITY IS ONLY MATCHED BY TALENT, I BELIEVE

  A NEW MEMBER OF THE ALPHABET CITY AVANT-GARDE

  ANGEL DUMOTT-SCHUNARD!

ANGEL:

TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

• TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

COLLINS:

AND YOU SHOULD HEAR HER BEAT!

ROGER:

YOU EARNED THIS ON THE STREET?

ANGEL:

IT WAS MY LUCKY DAY TODAY ON AVENUE A

• WHEN THE LADY IN THE LIMOUSINE DROVE MY WAY

  SHE SAID, “DAHLING, BE A DEAR — HAVEN’T SLEPT IN A YEAR

  I NEED YOUR HELP TO MAKE MY NEIGHBOUR’S YAPPY DOG DISAPPEAR”

  “THIS AKITA-EVITA — JUST WON’T SHUT UP

  I BELIEVE IF YOU PLAY NON-STOP THAT PUP

  WILL BREATHE ITS VERY LAST HIGH-STRUNG BREATH

  I’M CERTAIN THAT CUR WILL BARK ITSELF TO DEATH”

  TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

  TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

  WE AGREED ON A FEE — A THOUSAND DOLLAR GUARANTEE

  TAX-FREE — AND A BONUS IF I TRIM HER TREE

  NOW WHO COULD FORETELL THAT IT WOULD GO SO WELL

  BUT SURE AS I AM HERE THAT DOG IS NOW IN DOGGY HELL

  AFTER AN HOUR — EVITA — IN ALL HER GLORY

  ON THE WINDOW LEDGE OF THAT 23RD STORY

  LIKE THELMA & LOUISE DID WHEN THEY GOT THE BLUES

  SWAN DOVE INTO THE COURTYARD OF THE GRACIE MEWS

  TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

  TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

  THEN BACK TO THE STREET WHERE I MET MY SWEET

  WHERE HE WAS MOANING AND GROANING ON THE COLD CONCRETE

  THE NURSE TOOK HIM HOME FOR SOME MERCUROCHROME

  AND I DRESSED HIS WOUNDS AND GOT HIM BACK ON HIS FEET

  SING IT

  TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

  TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

  TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

  TODAY FOR YOU — TOMORROW FOR ME

YOU’LL SEE

BENNY:

HEY YOU BUM — YEAH, YOU, MOVE OVER

• GET YOUR ASS OFF THAT RANGE ROVER

MARK:

That attitude toward the homeless is exactly what Maureen is protesting tonight.

• Close up: Benjamin Coffin the third. Our ex-roommate, who married Alison

  Grey, of the Westport Greys — then bought the building, in hopes of starting

  a cyber-studio.

BENNY:

MAUREEN IS PROTESTING LOSING HER PERFORMANCE SPACE

• NOT MY ATTITUDE

ROGER:

WHAT HAPPENED TO BENNY?

• WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS HEART

  AND THE IDEALS HE ONCE PURSUED?

BENNY:

ANY OWNER OF THAT LOT NEXT DOOR

• HAS A RIGHT TO DO WITH IT AS HE PLEASES

COLLINS:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS!

BENNY:

THE RENT

MARK:

YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME

ROGER:

WE’RE BROKE

MARK:

AND YOU BROKE YOUR WORD — THIS IS ABSURD

BENNY:

THERE IS ONE WAY YOU WON’T HAVE TO PAY

ROGER:

I KNEW IT!

BENNY:

NEXT DOOR, THE HOME OF CYBERARTS, YOU SEE

• AND NOW THAT THE BLOCK IS REZONED

  OUR DREAM CAN BECOME A REALITY

  YOU’LL SEE BOYS

  YOU’LL SEE BOYS

  A STATE OF THE ART, DIGITAL, VIRTUAL INTERACTIVE STUDIO

  I’LL FOREGO YOUR RENT AND ON PAPER GUARANTEE

  THAT YOU CAN STAY HERE FOR FREE

  IF YOU DO ME ONE SMALL FAVOR

MARK:

WHAT?

BENNY:

CONVINCE MAUREEN TO CANCEL HER PROTEST

MARK:

WHY NOT JUST GET AN INJUNCTION OR CALL THE COPS?

BENNY:

I DID, AND THEY’RE ON STAND BY

• BUT MY INVESTORS WOULD RATHER I HANDLE THIS QUIETLY

ROGER:

YOU CAN’T QUIETLY WIPE OUT AN ENTIRE TENT CITY

• THEN WATCH “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIKE” ON TV!

BENNY:

YOU WANT TO PRODUCE FILMS AND WRITE SONGS?

• YOU NEED SOMEWHERE TO DO IT!

  IT’S WHAT WE USED TO DREAM ABOUT

  THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU POOH-POOH IT

  YOU’LL SEE BOYS

  YOU’LL SEE BOYS

  YOU’LL SEE — THE BEAUTY OF A STUDIO

  THAT LETS US DO OUR WORK AND GET PAID

  WITH CONDOS ON THE TOP

  WHOSE RENT KEEPS OPEN OUR SHOP

  JUST STOP THE PROTEST

  AND YOU’LL HAVE IT MADE

  YOU’LL SEE– OR YOU’LL PACK

ANGEL:

THAT BOY COULD USE SOME PROZAC

ROGER:

OR HEAVY DRUGS

MARK:

OR GROUP HUGS

COLLINS:

WHICH REMINDS ME —

• WE HAVE A DETOUR TO MAKE TONIGHT

  ANYONE WHO WANTS TO CAN COME ALONG

ANGEL:

LIFE SUPPORT’S A GROUP FOR PEOPLE COPING WITH LIFE

• YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAY TOO LONG

MARK:

FIRST I’VE GOT A PROTEST TO SAVE

ANGEL:

ROGER?

ROGER:

I’M NOT MUCH COMPANY YOU’LL FIND

MARK:

BEHAVE!

ANGEL:

HE’LL CATCH UP LATER — HE’S JUST GOT OTHER THINGS ON HIS MIND

• YOU’LL SEE BOYS

MARK & COLLINS:

WE’LL SEE BOYS

ROGER:

LET IT BE BOYS!

COLLINS:

I LIKE BOYS

ANGEL:

BOYS LIKE ME

ALL:

WE’LL SEE

TANGO: MAUREEN

MARK:

• The lot. Where a stage is partially set up.

JOANNE:

MARK?

MARK:

HI.

JOANNE:

I TOLD HER NOT TO CALL YOU

MARK:

THAT’S MAUREEN

• BUT CAN I HELP SINCE I’M HERE?

JOANNE:

I’VE HIRED AN ENGINEER…

MARK:

GREAT! WELL, NICE TO HAVE…

JOANNE:

WAIT! SHE’S THREE HOURS LATE

• THE SAMPLES WON’T DELAY BUT THE CABLE —

MARK:

THERE’S ANOTHER WAY

• SAY SOMETHING — ANYTHING

JOANNE:

TEST — ONE, TWO, THREE…

MARK:

ANYTHING BUT THAT

JOANNE:

THIS IS WEIRD

MARK:

IT’S WEIRD

JOANNE:

VERY WEIRD

MARK:

FUCKIN’ WEIRD

JOANNE:

I’M SO MAD THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

• FIGHTING WITH MICROPHONES, FREEZING DOWN TO MY BONES

  AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF I’M WITH YOU

MARK:

FEEL LIKE GOING INSANE?

• GOT A FIRE IN YOUR BRAIN?

  AND YOU’RE THINKING OF DRINKING GASOLINE?

JOANNE:

AS A MATTER OF FACT —

MARK:

HONEY, I KNOW THIS ACT

• IT’S CALLED THE “TANGO: MAUREEN”

  THE TANGO MAUREEN

  IT’S A DARK, DIZZY MERRY-GO-ROUND

  AS SHE KEEPS YOU DANGLING

JOANNE:

YOU’RE WRONG

MARK:

YOUR HEART SHE IS MANGLING

JOANNE:

IT’S DIFFERENT WITH ME

MARK:

AND YOU TOSS AND YOU TURN

• CAUSE HER COLD EYES CAN BURN

  YET YOU YEARN AND YOU CHURN AND REBOUND

JOANNE:

I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

BOTH:

THE TANGO MAUREEN

MARK:

HAS SHE EVER POUTED HER LIPS AND CALLED YOU “POOKIE”?

JOANNE:

NEVER

MARK:

HAVE YOU EVER DOUBTED A KISS OR TWO?

JOANNE:

THIS IS SPOOKY

• DID YOU SWOON WHEN SHE WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR?

MARK:

EVERY TIME — SO BE CAUTIOUS

JOANNE:

DID SHE MOON OVER OTHER BOYS…?

MARK:

MORE THAN MOON —

JOANNE:

I’M GETTING NAUSEOUS

MARK:

It’s hard to this backwards

JOANNE:

You should try it in heels!

• SHE CHEATED

MARK:

SHE CHEATED

JOANNE:

MAUREEN CHEATED

MARK:

FUCKIN’ CHEATED

JOANNE:

I’M DEFEATED

• I SHOULD GIVE UP RIGHT NOW

MARK:

GOTTA LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

• WITH ALL OF YOUR MIGHT…

JOANNE:

I’D FALL FOR HER STILL ANYHOW

BOTH:

WHEN YOU’RE DANCING HER DANCE

• YOU DON’T STAND A CHANCE

  HER GRIP OF ROMANCE MAKES YOU FALL

MARK:

SO YOU THINK, “MIGHT AS WELL”

JOANNE:

“DANCE A TANGO TO HELL”

BOTH:

“AT LEAST I’LL HAVE TANGOED AT ALL”

• THE TANGO MAUREEN

  GOTTA DANCE TILL YOUR DIVA IS THROUGH

  YOU PRETEND TO BELIEVE HER

  CAUSE IN THE END YOU CAN’T LEAVE HER

  BUT THE END IT WILL COME

  STILL YOU HAVE TO PLAY DUMB

  TILL YOU’RE GLUM AND YOU BUM AND TURN BLUE

MARK:

WHY DO WE LOVE WHEN SHE’S MEAN?

JOANNE:

AND SHE CAN BE SO OBSCENE

MARK:

TRY THE MIKE

JOANNE:

MY MAUREEN (EEN, EEN, EEN…)

MARK:

PATCHED

JOANNE:

THANKS

MARK:

YOU KNOW — I FEEL GREAT NOW!

JOANNE:

I FEEL LOUSY

BOTH:

THE TANGO: MAUREEN!

LIFE SUPPORT

STEVE:

Steve.

GORDON:

Gordon.

ALI:

Ali.

PAM:

Pam.

SUE:

Sue.

ANGEL:

Hi. I’m Angel.

COLLINS:

Tom. Collins.

PAUL:

I’m Paul. Let’s begin.

ALL:

THERE’S ONLY US

• THERE’S ONLY THIS

MARK:

SORRY…EXCUSE ME…OOPS

PAUL:

AND YOU ARE?

MARK:

OH — I’M NOT — I’M JUST HERE TO —

• I DON’T HAVE — I’M HERE WITH —

  UM, MARK! MARK. I’m Mark.

  WELL, THIS IS QUITE AN OPERATION

PAUL:

SIT DOWN MARK

• WE’LL CONTINUE THE AFFIRMATION

ALL:

FORGET REGRET OR LIFE IS YOURS TO MISS

GORDON:

EXCUSE ME PAUL — I’M HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THIS, THIS CREDO

• MY T-CELLS ARE LOW — I REGRET THAT NEWS, OKAY?

PAUL:

ALRIGHT. BUT GORDON — HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

GORDON:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

PAUL:

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

GORDON:

OKAY

PAUL:

IS THAT ALL?

GORDON:

BEST I’VE FELT ALL YEAR

PAUL:

THEN WHY CHOOSE FEAR?

GORDON:

I’M A NEW YORKER! FEAR’S MY LIFE!

• LOOK — I FIND SOME OF WHAT YOU TEACH SUSPECT

  BECAUSE I’M USED TO RELYING ON INTELLECT

  BUT I TRY TO OPEN UP TO WHAT I DON’T KNOW

GORDON & ROGER:

BECAUSE REASON SAYS I SHOULD HAVE DIED THREE YEARS AGO

ALL:

NO OTHER ROAD

• NO OTHER WAY

  NO DAY BUT TODAY

OUT TONIGHT (Mimi’s Apartment)

MIMI:

WHAT’S THE TIME?

• WELL, IT’S GOTTA BE CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT

  MY BODY’S TALKING TO ME — IT SAYS, “TIME FOR DANGER”

  IT SAYS “I WANNA COMMIT A CRIME

  WANNA BE THE CAUSE OF A FIGHT

  WANNA PUT ON A TIGHT SKIRT AND FLIRT WITH A STRANGER”

  I’VE HAD A KNACK FROM WAY BACK

  AT BREAKING THE RULES ONCE I LEARN THE GAMES

  GET UP — LIFE’S TOO QUICK

  I KNOW SOMEPLACE SICK

  WHERE THIS CHICK’LL DANCE IN THE FLAMES

  WE DON’T NEED ANY MONEY

  I ALWAYS GET IN FOR FREE

  YOU CAN GET IN TOO IF YOU GET IN WITH ME

  LET’S GO OUT TONIGHT

  I HAVE TO GO OUT TONIGHT

  YOU WANNA PLAY? LET’S RUN AWAY

  WE WON’T BE BACK BEFORE IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY

  TAKE ME OUT TONIGHT — MEOW

  WHEN I GET A WINK FROM THE DOORMAN

  DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU’LL BE?

  THAT YOU’RE ON LINE WITH THE FELINE OF AVENUE B

  LET’S GO OUT TONIGHT

  I HAVE TO GO OUT TONIGHT

  YOU WANNA PROWL, BE MY NIGHT OWL?

  WELL TAKE MY HAND, WE’RE GONNA HOWL OUT TONIGHT

  IN THE EVENING I’VE GOT TO ROAM

  CAN’T SLEEP IN THE CITY OF NEON AND CHROME

  FEELS TOO DAMN MUCH LIKE HOME

  WHEN THE SPANISH BABIES CRY

  SO LET’S FIND A BAR

  SO DARK WE FORGET WHO WE ARE

  AND ALL THE SCARS FROM THE

  NEVERS AND MAYBES DIE

  LET’S GO OUT TONIGHT

  I HAVE TO GO OUT TONIGHT

  YOU’RE SWEET, WANNA HIT THE STREET?

  WANNA WAIL AT THE MOON LIKE A CAT IN HEAT?

  JUST TAKE ME OUT TONIGHT

  PLEASE TAKE ME OUT TONIGHT

  DON’T FORSAKE ME — OUT TONIGHT

  I’LL LET YOU MAKE ME — OUT TONIGHT

  TONIGHT — TONIGHT — TONIGHT

ANOTHER DAY (The loft)

ROGER:

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

• BARGING IN ON ME AND MY GUITAR

  LITTLE GIRL — HEY, THE DOOR IS THAT WAY

  YOU BETTER GO YOU KNOW THE FIRE’S OUT ANYWAY

  TAKE YOUR POWDER — TAKE YOUR CANDLE

  YOUR SWEET WHISPER I JUST CAN’T HANDLE

  WELL TAKE YOUR HAIR IN THE MOONLIGHT

  YOUR BROWN EYES — GOODBYE, GOOD NIGHT

  I SHOULD TELL YOU, I SHOULD TELL YOU

  I SHOULD TELL YOU, I SHOULD — NO!

  ANOTHER TIME — ANOTHER PLACE

  OUR TEMPERATURE WOULD CLIMB, THERE’D BE A LONG EMBRACE

  WE’D DO ANOTHER DANCE, IT’D BE ANOTHER PLAY

  LOOKING FOR ROMANCE? COME BACK ANOTHER DAY

  ANOTHER DAY

MIMI:

THE HEART MAY FREEZE OR IT CAN BURN

• THE PAIN WILL EASE IF I CAN LEARN

  THERE IS NO FUTURE

  THERE IS NO PAST

  I LIVE THIS MOMENT AS MY LAST

  THERE’S ONLY US

  THERE’S ONLY THIS

  FORGET REGRET OR LIFE IS YOURS TO MISS

  NO OTHER ROAD

  NO OTHER WAY

  NO DAY BUT TODAY

ROGER:

EXCUSE ME IF I’M OFF TRACK

• BUT IF YOU’RE SO WISE THEN TELL ME WHY DO YOU NEED SMACK?

  TAKE YOUR NEEDLE, TAKE YOUR FANCY PRAYER

  AND DON’T FORGET — GET THE MOONLIGHT OUT OF YOUR HAIR

  LONG AGO — YOU MIGHT’VE LIT UP MY HEART

  BUT THE FIRE’S DEAD — AIN’T NEVER EVER GONNA START

  ANOTHER TIME — ANOTHER PLACE

  THE WORDS WOULD ONLY RHYME, WE’D BE IN OUTER SPACE

  IT’D BE ANOTHER SONG WE’D SING ANOTHER WAY

  YOU WANNA PROVE ME WRONG? COME BACK ANOTHER DAY

  ANOTHER DAY

MIMI:

THERE’S ONLY YES

• ONLY TONIGHT

  WE MUST LET GO TO KNOW WHAT’S RIGHT

  NO OTHER COURSE

  NO OTHER WAY

  NO DAY BUT TODAY

MIMI & OTHERS: I CAN’T CONTROL MY DESTINY I TRUST MY SOUL MY ONLY GOAL I JUST – TO BE THERE’S ONLY NOW THERE’S ONLY HERE GIVE IN TO LOVE OR LIVE IN FEAR NO OTHER PATH NO OTHER WAY NO DAY BUT TODAY

ROGER: CONTROL YOUR TEMPER SHE DOESN’T SEE WHO SAYS THAT THERE’S A SOUL? JUST LET ME BE WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? BARGING IN ON ME AND MY GUITAR LITTLE GIRL, HEY THE DOOR IS THAT WAY THE FIRE’S OUT ANYWAY

ALL: NO DAY BUT TODAY NO DAY BUT TODAY NO DAY BUT TODAY NO DAY BUT TODAY NO DAY BUT TODAY

ROGER: TAKE YOUR POWDER TAKE YOUR CANDLE TAKE YOUR BROWN EYES YOUR PRETTY SMILE YOUR SILHOUETTE ANOTHER TIME ANOTHER PLACE ANOTHER RHYME A WARM EMBRACE ANOTHER DANCE, ANOTHER WAY ANOTHER CHANCE, ANOTHER DAY

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