From the Original Broadway Cast Recording
(Typed by Alison 🙂
Act One
Manhattan, 1922. Millie Dillmount steps off the train from Salina,
Kansas
(Not For the Life of Me). Surrounded by a throng of fabulous
flappers, Millie’s a fish out of water, until she bobs her hair and
sheds
her Sunday best for a higher hemline and a hotter look (Thoroughly
Modern
Millie). As the number ends, Millie is mugged. She seeks help
from
Jimmy Smith, but all he provides is unsolicited advice for her to make
a
U-turn and return home (Not for the Life of Me (reprise)).
A week passes, and we’re at the Hotel Priscilla, where a bevy of
stagestruck
hopefuls are starting their day. Enter Miss Dorothy, and she and
Millie
quickly prove that opposites attract (How the Other Half Lives).
Meanwhile, in the laundry room, Mrs. Meers, the owner of the hotel,
plots to
kidnap Miss Dorothy. Why? Mrs. Meers runs a white slavery ring,
targeting
orphans whose sudden disappearance goes unnoticed, and Miss Dorothy
fits the
bill. Mrs. Meers barks instructions at her immigrant henchmen, Ching
Ho and
Bun Foo. The two brothers quarrel over Ching Ho’s crisis of
conscience, but
Bun Foo reminds him that crime is the only career that pays well enough
for
them to bring their mother over from Hong Kong (Not For the Life of
Me
(reprise)).
Later that afternoon, Millie begins her job hunt, or rather husband
hunt:
Millie’s “modern” plan is to find work as a stenog to an eligible
bachelor
and wind up his wife. On her list of potential bosses/hubbies is
Trevor
Graydon III at the Sincere Trust Insurance Company (The Speed
Test).
Back at the hotel, Mrs. Meers tries to dope Miss Dorothy with a
poisoned
apple, but is repeatedly interrupted (They Don’t Know). Millie
takes
the Priscilla girls out on the town to celebrate her new job, and she
runs
into Jimmy Smith. He gets them into a speakeasy, and though Millie is
initially standoffish, they eventually join in a dance (The
Nuttycracker
Suite). By the time they are raided and land in jail, Jimmy
reconsiders
his assessment of Millie (What Do I Need With Love?). Jimmy
asks
Millie to a Yankees game, but she reveals her plan to marry her boss.
Jimmy
pretends that his interest is platonic, suggesting that she bring Miss
Dorothy along. A trio is formed for nightly excursions to Coney
Island,
Central Park and the glamorous penthouse of Muzzy Van Hossmere,
Manhattan’s
most celebrated chanteuse (Only in New York).
Later that night, on Muzzy’s terrace, Jimmy needles Millie about her
plan to
marry a man who thinks of her as “a typewriter on legs.” Their quarrel
escalates until, unable to control himself, Jimmy kisses Millie
passionately. He exits in a panic, leaving her alone to sort out her
feelings (Jimmy). She returns to the Hotel Priscilla in a state
of
bliss, which is quickly shattered when she sees Jimmy sneaking out of
Miss
Dorothy’s room after what appears to be a late-night tryst.
The next morning, Millie is miserable (Back at Work). She wills
herself into wasting no more time on Jimmy Smith (Forget About the
Boy). Instead, she redoubles her efforts to seduce Mr. Graydon,
until
Miss Dorothy drops by and the two are immediately smitten (I’m
Falling in
Love With Someone). Jimmy appears on the window ledge outside of
Millie’s office, where he declares his feelings for her (I Turned
the
Corner). Millie, too, is falling in love, as are Mr. Graydon, Miss
Dorothy and Ching Ho, whose heart has belonged to Miss Dorothy since
the
moment they met (I’m Falling in Love With Someone (reprise)).
Meanwhile, Mrs. Meers is more determined than ever to get Miss Dorothy.
Ching Ho tries to stop her, but she reminds him of her promise to
import
their elderly, ailing mother in exchange for their evil doings
(Muqin).
Millie and Jimmy go to the Cafe Society to hear Muzzy sing (Long as
I’m
Here With You), but they can’t pay the bill so they are put on
dishwashing duty. Millie realizes that the unemployed Jimmy is as far
from
her plan to marry well as a girl can get, so she flees the kitchen and
heads
to Muzzy’s dressing room for some sound advice. Muzzy explains that
though
she herself married a multi-millionaire, she had no idea he was rich
until
after their engagement, when a green glass brooch he gave her turned
out to
be emeralds. Muzzy leaves Millie alone in the dressing room to mull
over
her advice (Gimme, Gimme).
Mr. Graydon shows up at Cafe Society in a drunken stupor: Miss Dorothy
has
checked out of the Hotel Priscilla with no forwarding address. Millie,
Jimmy and Mr. Graydon realize that Mrs. Meers must be running a white
slavery ring. They corral Muzzy into checking in as a
new-orphan-in-town.
Mrs. Meers takes the bait and is exposed as the mastermind criminal she
is.
With Mrs. Meers out of the way, Miss Dorothy is revealed in Ching Ho’s
arms:
he rescued her from an unspeakable fate and won her heart in the
bargain.
Jimmy proposes to Millie and, poor as he is, she accepts, “because if
it’s
marriage I’ve got in mind, love has everything to do with it.” Jimmy
reveals himself to be Herbert J. Van Hossmere III – Muzzy’s stepson,
Miss
Dorothy’s brother and one of the most eligible bachelors in the world.
The
two couples kiss as a throng of fabulous flappers appears. Through
them
walks another girl from nowhere, ready to take her chances in the
never-ending tale that is New York City (Finale).