Prologue (Little Shop of Horrors)
Little shop,
Little shoppa horrors.
Little shop,
Little shoppa terror.
Call a cop.
Little shoppa horrors.
No, oh, oh, no-oh!
Little shop,
Little shoppa horrors.
Bop-sh’bop,
Little shoppa terror.
Watch ’em drop
Little shoppa horrors.
No, oh, oh, no-oh!
Shing-a-ling,
What a creepy thing to be happening!
(Look out, look out, look out, look out!)
Shang-a-lang,
Feel the strum and drang in the air.
(Yeah, yeah, yeah.)
Sha-la-la,
Stop right where you are, don’t you move a thing.
You better,
You better,
Tellin’ you better
Tell your mama
Somethin’s gonna get her.
She better,
Everybody better beware.
Oo, here it comes, baby.
Tell the world, baby.
Oh, oh, no!
Oo, hit the dirt, baby.
Hit the dirt, baby.
Oh, oh, no!
Oh, oh, no!
Alley-oop,
Hurry off to school child, I’m warnin’ you.
(Look out, look out, look out, look out!)
Run away!
Child you gonna pay if you stay, yeah!
(Yeah, yeah, yeah.)
Look around,
Somethin’s comin’ down, down the steet for you!
You betcha,
You betcha,
You betcha butt, you betcha.
Best believe it,
Somethin’s come to get ya.
You betcha,
You better watch your back in this town…
Woo!
(Comma comma comma.)
Little shop,
Little shoppa horrors.
Bop-sh’bop,
You’ll never stop the terror.
Little shop,
Little shoppa horrors.
No, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no!
Skid Row (Downtown)
Alarm goes off at seven
and you start up-town.
You put in your eight hours
for the powers
that have always been.
(Sing it child)
‘Til it’s five-pm…
“Then you go…”
Downtown
Where the folks are broke. You go
Downtown
Where your life’s a joke. You go
Downtown
Where you buy a token. You go…
Home to Skid Row.
“Yes you go…”
Downtown
Where the cabs don’t stop.
Downtown
Where the food is slop.
Downtown
Where the hop-heads flop in the snow…
Down on Skid Row.
Uptown you cater to a million jerks.
Uptown you’re messengers and mailroom clerks.
Eating all your lunches at the hot-dog carts.
The bosses take your money and they break your hearts.
And Uptown you cater to a million whores.
You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors.
Your morning’s tribulation, afternoon’s a curse
And five o’clock is even worse!
“That’s when you go…”
Downtown
Where the guys are drips.
Downtown
Where they rip your slips.
Downtown
Where relationships are no go.
Down on Skid Row.
Poor, all my life I’ve always been poor.
I keep askin’ God what I’m for.
And he tells me, “Gee, I’m not sure.”
“Sweep that floor, kid!”
Oh! I started life as an orphan,
A child of the street, here on Skid
Row! He took me in gave me shelter
A bed, crust of bread and a job.
Treats me like dirt and calls me a slob,
Which I am…
So I live
Downtown
That’s your home address, you live
Downtown
When your life’s a mess, you live
Downtown
Where depression’s just status quo.
Down on Skid Row.
Someone show me a way to get outta here.
‘Cause I constantly pray I’ll get outta here.
Please won’t somebody say I’ll get outta here.
Someone gimmie my shot, or I’ll rot here!
(Downtown)
Show me how and I will, I’ll get outta here.
(There’s no rules for us)
(Downtown)
I’ll start climbin’ up hill and get outta here.
(‘Cause it’s dangerous)
(Downtown)
Someone tell me I still could get outta here.
(Where there rainbow just doesn’t show)
Someone tell lady luck that I’m stuck here!
(When you get…)
(Downtown)
Gee it sure would be swell to get outta here.
Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here.
I’d move heaven and hell to get outta Skid.
I’d do I don’t know what to get outta Skid.
But a hell of a lot to get outta Skid.
People tell me there’s not a way outta Skid.
But believe me I gotta get outta Skid
Row!
Da-Doo
Da-doo
I was walking in the Wholesale Flower District that day.
Shoop da-doo
And I passed by this place where this old chinese man…
Chang da-doo
He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings.
Snip da-doo
‘Cuase he knows, you see that, well, strange plants are my hobby.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-doo
He didn’t have anything unusual there that day.
Nope da-doo
So I was just about to, you know, walk on by.
Good for you
When suddenly, and without warning,
There was this…
(Total eclipse of the Sun)
It got very dark…
And there was this strange humming sound,
Like something from another world…
Da doo
And when the light came back this weird plant was just sitting there.
Oopsie-doo
Just, you know, stuck in, uh-among the zinias.
Audrey Two
I coulda sworn it hadn’t been there before.
But the old chinese man sold it to me anyways.
For a dollar-ninety-five.
Grow for Me
I’ve given you sunshine.
I’ve given you dirt.
You’ve given me nothin’
But heartache and hurt!
I’m beggin’ you sweetly.
I’m down on my knees.
Oh please,
Grow for me?
I’ve given you plant food
And water to sip.
I’ve given you pot-ash.
You given me zip!
Oh God, how I mist you.
Oh Pod, how you tease.
Now please,
Grow for me?
I’ve given you Southern Exposure
To get you to thrive.
I’ve pinched you back hard, like I’m supposed to
You’re barely alive.
I’ve tried you at levels of moisture
From desert to mud!
I’ve given you grow lights and mineral supplements.
What do you want from me? Blood?
“Ow! Damn Roses! Damn Thorns!”
I’ve given you sunlight.
I’ve given you rain.
Looks like you’re not happy
‘less I open a vein!
I’ll give you a few drops,
If that’ll apease.
Now Please…
Oh, Oh, Oh, Please…
Grow for Me…
Ya Never Know
I can’t believe it!
It couldn’t be happening!
Pinch me girls!
It couldn’t be happening!
All of a sudden success coming out of the blue!
I put a sign up
Right in the front window
An advertisement
Right in the front window
Stop in and see the amazing new plant “Audrey II”
And the really remarkable thing is that people they do
Seymour, that twerp of a clutz,
Finally did something right
Audrey II drives him nuts
What a blessing this wonderful plant should exist
And should rake in the bucks for me hand over fist!
“How’d I do?”
“Who’da believed it?”
One day he pushed a broom
Nothing in his news but gloom and doom
Then he lit a fuse and give him room
Stand aside watch that mothah blow
Explosion! Bang! Kerboom!
Don’t it go to show ya never know?
Seymour was in a funk
He was number zero
Who’da thunk he’d become a hero?
Just a punk, he was a forgotten so-and-so
Then one day-Crash! Kerplunk!
Don’t it go to show ya never know?
All the world used to screw him
Biff-wham-pow! Now they interview him
And they clamor to put his remarks
On the air
All the world used to hate him
Now they’re startin’ t’appreciate him
All because of that strange little plant
Over there
Observe him! Here’s a chap
Everything is landing in his lap
(I just cut my hand and in a snap
Something out of Edgar Allen Poe has happened) Zam! Kazap!
Don’t it go to show ya never know?
One day you’re slinging hash
Feeling so rejected
Lightning flash, you get resurrected
Make a splash-now you rate the big
Bravissimo
And with a thunderclash-
Crash kerplunk, bam kerboom,
Zang kazunk, zam kazoom
Zowee powee holy cow he
Ordered up a rainbow to go
Wow! Pow! Lookout below!
Don’t it go to show ya never know?
Somewhere That’s Green
I know Seymour’s the greatest,
But I’m dating a semi-sadist.
So I got a black eye,
and my arm’s in a cast.
Still that Semour’s a cutie.
Well, if not, he’s got inner beauty.
And I dream of a place,
Where we can be together, at last.
A matchbox of our own.
A fence of real chainlink.
A grill out on the patio.
Disposal in the sink.
A washer and a dryer,
And an ironing-machine.
In a tract house that we share,
Somewhere that’s green.
He rakes and trims the grass.
He loves to mow and weed.
I cook like Betty Crocker,
And I look like Donna Reed.
There’s plastic on the furniture
To keep it neat and clean.
In the Pine-Sol scented air,
Somewhere that’s green.
Between our frozen dinner,
and our bed-time nine-fifteen.
We snuggle watching Lucy,
On a big, enormous, twelve-inch screen.
Oh, his December bride,
He’s father, he knows best.
The kids play Howdy-Doody,
As the Sun sets in the West.
A picture out of Better Homes
And Gardens magzine.
Far from Skid Row,
I dream we’ll go…
Somewhere that’s Green.
Closed for Renovation
We’re closed for renovation
For spiffing-up and grooming
‘Cause customers are flocking
And business has been booming
We need refrigeration
In our new, improved display
So we’re closed for renovation
Today
We’re closed for decoration
‘Cause fortune has been smiling
So now we’re due for painting
New plumbing and re-tiling
We’ll make a ship-shape showplace
Of a little shop and then
Tomorrow we’ll be open
Again
We’re closed for renovation
For swabbing-down and brooming
‘Cause business has been thriving
Since Audrey Two’s been blooming
The phones have not stopped ringing
With the customers who say
Another bunch of peonies,
Another dozen daisies please
Geraniums, anemones
Forget-me-nots and fleurs-de-lis
With gratis home deliveries
On paid-in-fulls and C.O.D.’s
We’re closed for renovation
Today
Dentist!
When I was young and just a bad little kid,
My momma noticed funny things I did.
Like shootin’ puppies with a BB-Gun.
I’d poison guppies, and when I was done,
I’d find a pussy-cat and bash in it’s head.
That’s when my momma said…
(What did she say?)
She said my boy I think someday
You’ll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay…
You’ll be a dentist.
You have a talent for causing things pain!
Son, be a dentist.
People will pay you to be inhumane!
You’re temperment’s wrong for the priesthood,
And teaching would suit you still less.
Son, be a dentist.
You’ll be a success.
“Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque.”
“Watch him suck up that gas. Oh My God!”
“He’s a dentist and he’ll never ever be any good.”
“Who wants their teeth done by the Marqui DeSade?”
“Oh, that hurts! Wait! I’m not numb!”
“Eh, Shut Up! Open Wide! Here I Come!”
I am your dentist.
And I enjoy the career that I picked.
I’m your dentist.
And I get off on the pain I inflict!
When I start extracting those mollars
Girls, you’ll be screaming like holy rollers
And though it may cause my patients distress.
Somewhere…Somewhere in heaven above me…
I know…I know that my momma’s proud of me.
“Oh, Momma…”
‘Cause I’m a dentist…
And a success!
“Say ahh…”
“Say AHhhh…”
“Say AAARRRHHHH!!!”
“Now Spit!”
Mushnik and Son
How would you like to be my son?
How would you like to be my own adopted boy?
(I never liked him much before,
But count the cash that’s in the drawer
I’ve got no choice – I’m much too poor -)
Say yes (what for?) Seymour I want to
Be your dad
I’ll gladly see you
Climbing up my family tree
I used to think you left a stench
But now I see that you’re a mench
So I’m proposing be my son
Muchnik and Son sounds great
Three words with the ring of fate
So say you’ll incorporate with me
A florist’s dream come true
Mushnik and his boychik, you-
What business we’ll do for F.T.D.
Like Andy Hardy and the Judge
Like Zeus and Mercury
Like Dumas Fils and Pere
(In trouble sickness and in health)
We’ll share the plant and share the wealth
I’ll call my lawyer (call me son)
Mushnik and Son, that’s that
(Officially I’m your brat)
Consider the matter closed and done
Now to the world let’s stick
Our senior and junior shtick
(Through thin and through thick)
Through sloppy and slick
So come kiss me quick
Don’t make me sick
Mushnik and Son!