ANOTHER OP’NIN’ ANOTHER SHOW
PAUL & ENSEMBLE:
Another op’nin’, another show
In Philly, Boston or Baltimo’,
A chance for stage folks to say hello,
Another op’nin’ of another show.
Another job that you hope, at last,
Will make your future forget your past,
Another pain where the ulcers grow,
Another op’nin’ of another show.
Four weeks, you rehearse and rehearse,
Three weeks and it couldn’t be worse,
One week, will it ever be right?
Then out o’ the hat, it’s that big first night!
The overture is about to start,
You cross your fingers and hold your heart,
It’s curtain time and away we go!
Another op’nin’,
Just another op’nin’ of another show.
Another op’nin’, another show
In Philly, Boston or Baltimo’,
A chance for stage folks to say hello,
Another op’nin’ of another show.
Another job that you hope, at last,
Will make your future forget your past,
Another pain where the ulcers grow,
Another op’nin’ of another show.
Four weeks, you rehearse and rehearse,
Three weeks and it couldn’t be worse,
One week, will it ever be right?
Then out o’ the hat, it’s that big first night!
The overture is about to start,
You cross your fingers and hold your heart,
It’s curtain time and away we go!
Another op’nin’,
Just another op’nin’ of another show.
WHY CAN’T YOU BEHAVE?
LOIS LANE:
Why can’t you behave?
Oh, why can’t you behave?
After all the things you told me
And the promises that you gave,
Oh, why can’t you behave?
Why can’t you be good?
And do just as you should?
Won’t you turn that new leaf over
So your baby can be your slave?
Oh, why can’t you behave?
There’s a farm I know near my old home town,
Where we two can go and try settlin’ down.
There I’ll care for you forever,
Well, at least ’til you dig my grave.
Oh, why can’t you behave?
BILL:
Gee, I need you, kid!
LOIS LANE:
I always knew you did,
But why can’t you behave?
WUNDERBAR
LILLI & FRED:
Wunderbar, wunderbar!
There’s our fav’rite star above.
What a bright, shining star,
Like our love, it’s wunderbar!
FRED:
Gazing down on the Jungfrau
LILLI:
From our secret chalet for two,
FRED:
Let us drink, Liebchen mein,
LILLI:
In the moonlight benign,
LILLI & FRED:
To the joy of our dream come true.
Wunderbar, wunderbar!
FRED:
What a perfect night for love.
LILLI:
Here am I, here you are,
FRED:
Why it’s truly wunderbar!
LILLI & FRED:
Wunderbar, wunderbar!
FRED:
We’re alone and hand in glove,
LILLI:
Not a cloud near or far,
FRED:
Why, it’s more than wunderbar!
LILLI:
Say you care, dear,
FRED:
For you madly,
LILLI:
Say you long, dear,
FRED:
For your kiss,
LILLI:
Do you swear, dear?
FRED:
Darling, gladly,
LILLI:
Life’s divine, dear!
FRED:
And you’re mine, dear!
LILLI & FRED:
Wunderbar, wunderbar!
FRED:
There’s our fav’rite star above.
LILLI & FRED:
What a bright, shining star,
Like our love, it’s wunderbar!
SO IN LOVE
LILLI:
Strange, dear, but true, dear,
When I’m close to you, dear,
The stars fill the sky,
So in love with you am I.
Even without you
My arms fold about you.
You know, darling why,
So in love with you am I.
In love with the night mysterious
The night when you first were there.
In love with my joy delirious
When I knew that you might care.
So taunt me and hurt me,
Deceive me, desert me,
I’m yours ’til I die,
So in love,
So in love,
So in love with you, my love, am I.
So taunt me and hurt me,
Deceive me, desert me,
I’m yours ’til I die,
So in love,
So in love,
So in love with you, my love, am I.
WE OPEN IN VENICE
BIANCA, LUCENTIO, GREMIO & HORTENSIO:
A troupe of strolling players are we,
Not stars like L.B. Mayer’s are we,
But just a simple band
Who roams about the land
Dispensing fol-de-rol frivolity.
Mere folk who give distraction are we,
No Theater Guild attraction are we,
But just a crazy group
That never ceases to troop
Around the map of little Italy.
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa laughs in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That dopey, mopey menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa bars in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That beerless, cheerless menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa dough in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That stingy, dingy menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa quail in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That heartless, tartless menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
In Venice.
TOM, DICK OR HARRY
GREMIO:
I’ve made a haul in all the leading rackets
From which rip-roarin’ rich I happen to be,
And if thou wouldst attain the upper brackets,
Marry me, marry me, marry me.
LUCENTIO:
My purse has yet to know a silver lining,
Still lifeless in my wifeless family tree,
But if for love unending thou art pining,
Marry me, marry me, marry me.
HORTENSIO:
I come to thee a thoroughbred patrician
Still spaying my decaying family tree.
To give a social goose to thy position,
Marry me, marry me, marry me.
Marry me!
GREMIO & LUCENTIO:
Marry me!
HORTENSIO:
Marry me!
GREMIO & HORTENSIO:
Marry me!
LUCENTIO:
Marry me!
GREMIO:
Marry me!
3 SUITORS:
Marry me!
BIANCA:
I’m a maid who would marry
And will take with no qualm
Any Tom, Dick or Harry,
Any Harry, Dick or Tom,
I’m a maid mad to marry
And will take double-quick
Any Tom, Dick or Harry,
Any Tom, Harry or Dick.
GREMIO:
I’m the man thou shouldst marry
BIANCA:
Howdy, Pop!
GREMIO:
Howdy, Mom.
LUCENTIO:
I’m the man thou shouldst marry.
BIANCA:
Art thou Harry, Dick or Tom?
HORTENSIO:
I’m the man thou shouldst marry.
BIANCA:
Howdy, pal!
HORTENSIO:
Howdy, chick!
BIANCA:
Art thou Tom, Dick or Harry?
HORTENSIO:
Call me Tom, Harry or Dick.
BIANCA & SUITORS:
I’m (She’s) a maid who would marry
And would no longer tarry,
I’m (She’s) a maid who would marry,
May my hopes not miscarry!
I’m (She’s) a maid mad marry
And will take double-quick
Any Tom, Dick or Harry,
Any Tom, Harry or Dick.
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick!
I’VE COME TO WIVE IT WEALTHILY IN PADUA
PETRUCHIO:
I’ve come to wive it wealthily in Padua,
If wealthily then happily in Padua.
If my wife has a bag of gold,
Do I care if the bag be old?
I’ve come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
ENSEMBLE:
He’s come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
PETRUCHIO:
I heard you mutter, “Zounds, a loathsome lad you are.”
I shall not be disturbed one bit
If she be but a quarter-wit,
If she only can talk of clo’es
While she powders her goddamned nose,
I’ve come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
ENSEMBLE:
He’s come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
PETRUCHIO:
I heard you say, “Gadzooks, completely mad you are!”
‘Twouldn’t give me the slightest shock
If her knees now and then should knock,
If her eye were a wee bit crossed,
Were she wearing the hair she’d lost,
Still the damsel I’ll make my dame,
In the dark they are all the same,
I’ve come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
ENSEMBLE:
He’s come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
PETRUCHIO:
I heard you say, “Good gad, but what a cad you are!”
Do I mind if she fret and fuss,
If she fume like Vesuvius,
If she roar like a winter breeze
On the rough Adriatic seas,
If she screams like a teething brat,
If she scratch like a tiger cat,
If she fight like a raging boar,
I have oft stuck a pig before,
I’ve come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
ENSEMBLE:
With a hunny, nunny, nunny,
And a hey, hey, hey,
PETRUCHIO:
Not to mention money, money
For a rainy day,
PETRUCHIO & ENSEMBLE:
I (He’s) come to wive it wealthily in Padua.
I HATE MEN
KATHARINE:
I hate men.
I can’t abide ’em even now and then.
Than ever marry one of them, I’d rest a virgin rather,
For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother.
Of course, I’m awfully glad that Mother had to marry Father,
But I hate men.
Of all the types I’ve ever met within our democracy,
I hate most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy,
He may have hair upon his chest but, sister, so has Lassie.
Oh, I hate men!
I hate men.
Their worth upon this earth I dinna ken.
Avoid the trav’ling salesman though a tempting
Tom he may be,
From China he will bring you jade and perfume from Araby,
But don’t forget ’tis he who’ll have the fun and thee the baby,
Oh I hate men.
If thou shouldst wed a businessman, be wary, oh, be wary.
He’ll tell you he’s detained in town on business necessary,
His bus’ness is the bus’ness which he gives his secretary,
Oh I hate men!
WERE THINE THAT SPECIAL FACE
PETRUCHIO:
Were thine that special face
The face that fills my dreaming,
Were thine the rhythm’d grace,
Were thine the form so lithe and slender,
Were thine the arms so warm, so tender,
Were thine the kiss divine,
Were thine the love for me,
The love which fills my dreaming,
When all these charms are thine
Then you’ll be mine, all mine.
I wrote a poem
In classic style.
I wrote it with my tongue in my cheek
And my lips in a smile.
But of late my poem
Has a meaning so new,
For to my surprise
It suddenly applies
To my darling–to you.
Were thine that special face
The face that feels my dreaming,
Were thine the rhythm’d grace,
Were thine the form so lithe and slender,
Were thine the arms so warm, so tender,
Were thine the kiss divine,
Were thine the love for me,
The love which fills my dreaming,
When all these charms are thine
Then you’ll be mine, all mine.
When all these charms are thine
Then you’ll be mine, all mine.