Let It Go – The Full Monty

JEANETTE’S SHOWBIZ NUMBER

Jeanette

This gig’s an echo of that time with Buddy Greco

When we did the Desert Inn in ’59

The dancing girls were clunky

The drummer was a junkie

But we pulled the act together

And we killed ’em every time

That having been said, frankly

I think that things are worse here

That guy and his head are gonna need

Some kind of nurse here

It’s like a friggin’ curse here

Things could be better –

So sue me, it’s the truth

Things could be better ’round here

It’s an attitude problem. Seen it a million times.

I was subbing with Stan Kenton

In this seedy club in Trenton

When I heard my third divorce

Had just gone through

I coulda torn my heart out

But instead I got my chart out

And I gave ’em all a lesson

In the way to play the blues

That having been said

Something is even more morose here

Just looking ahead’s making me feel

Real gross here

We aren’t even close here

Things could be better

Could they get any worse? I don’t think so

Things could be better ’round here

It’s like a putz museum

A showbiz mausoleum

Things could be better ’round here

Dave

There’s a problem with the timing

Horse

There’s a problem with the groove

Harold

There’s an overwhelming lethargy

Nothing can improve

Jeanette

You can sense defeat get closer

Every time they add a move…

Jeanette

This guys needs a helmet

That guy needs some lipo

And I could use some Geritol delivered in a hypo

But I don’t wanna gripe –

Men

Oh –

Things could be better

Jeanette

You bet your ass they could.

Things could be better ’round here

Now let me just tell you something…

I’ve played for hoofers who can’t hoof

I’ve played for tone-deaf singers

And once, when I insulted Frank

I played with broken fingers

I’ve paid my dues

I know the blues –

Of this I can assure you

So now I’ll say it one last time

‘Cause I don’t want to bore you

I’ve got some bad news for you

Jeanette

Let’s face it, we suck.

Men

We’re deep down in the ditch, man

Jeanette

This showbiz is a bitch, man

Things could be better

Men

We could be better

Jeanette

Things could be better ’round –

You know what Kate Smith used to say about a bad rehearsal? Usually means a bad performance.

– here

BREEZE OFF THE RIVER

Jerry

There’s a breeze off the river

Through the crack in the window pane

There’s my boy on the pillow

And I feel like I’m lost again

Everybody knows the secret

They all know what their life should be

And they move like a river

Everybody knows except for me

And I never feel like somebody somebody

Calls a father

I can’t explain

But when I look at you kid, it’s like a mirror

It spins my head, it wakes me

Like the breeze off the river

Every time I see your face

And it’s strange but familiar

Like a map of a better place

And sometimes I feel like I live in a shadow

And shadow’s all I see

Then you jump straight up

And you grab the moon

And you make it shine on me

Where do you get it from?

Everybody knows the secret

Well I don’t and I never did

I don’t know any secret

All I know is I love you kid

All I know is I love you kid

All I know…

THE GOODS

Jerry

Take a look at this girl

That’s everything I like

She got the face, she got the waist

She got the legs

Malcolm

Naw, her tits are too big

Jerry

What are you, crazy?

Bodacious funbags are a must!

They gotta be C or D or better

They gotta post a threat to the sweater – ow!

She got the goods!

That’s an eight or nine at least

She got the goods

Horse

Let me see that

Ah – now there’s a ten!

Jerry

You call that a ten?

Horse

Based on the booty

Jerry

What do you mean? It’s huge.

Horse

She got a butt like a battleship!

I don’t need to look above the hip

She got that shelf kinda ass … you could display your tchotchkes, your collectibles on there.

Baby got back. That’s a fact

You could park a wide-track Pontiac in that crack

Now that’s the goods

The bigger the cushion –

Jerry

She’s got a sofa-bed back there!

Dave

Well we just better hope the women are more forgiving than we are.

Horse

What is that supposed to mean?

Dave

If they’re looking at us Sunday night the way we’re usually looking at them, we’re in trouble.

Nightmare Georgie

Take a look at that opie-looking jer with the pigeon chest!

Nightmare Pam

And I give that fat guy’s ass a two

But I wish I had such voluptous breasts

Nightmare Vicki

And what about old Father Time over there?

Yeah, sure he can dance

But I didn’t pay twenty bucks to look at

Red Foxx skip around in a pair of

Blue underpants

Women

That ain’t the goods

Dave

What happens when they say that?

Women

This is not the goods!

Nightmare Estelle

He’s fat, he’s old, he’s skinny, he’s bald

He’s short

He’s got pimples on his ass

Women

He’s fat, he’s old, he’s skinny, he’s bald

He’s short

He’s got pimples on his ass

Men

Women can be lovers

Women can be pals

Women can be modern types

Or sweet old-fashioned gals

Women can be angels on earth

But then again

Holy goddamn fucking shit…

Women can be men

Women

He’s fat, he’s old, he’s skinny

He’s bald, he’s short

He’s fat, he’s old, he’s skinny

He’s bald, he’s short

Horse

I feel extremely insecure

All of a sudden

Dave

What am I doin’ here?

Men

What am I doin’ here?

What the hell am I doing here

All

This ain’t the goods

YOU WALK WITH ME

Malcolm

Is is the wind

Over my shoulder?

Is it the wind that I hear gently whispering

Are you alone there in the valley?

No, not alone for you walk, you walk with me

Is it the wind there over my shoulder?

Is it your voice calling quietly?

Over the hilltop, down in the valley

Never alone for you walk with me

When evening falls

And the air gets colder

When shadows cover the road I am following

Will I be along there in the darkness?

No, not alone, not alone

And I’ll never be…

Ethan

Never alone, you are walking

You’re walking with me

Malcolm & Ethan

Is it the wind there, over my shoulder?

Is it your voice calling quietly?

Over the hilltop, down in the valley

Never alone for you walk with me

Over the hilltop, down in the valley

Never alone for you walk with me

Malcolm

Never alone for you walk with me

YOU RULE MY WORLD (REPRISE)

Georgie

I look at you and what I see

The only man I ever loved in front of me

I chose you, Dave, it hasn’t changed

You’re everything I want, you rule my world

Vicki

Look at you, you’re standing there

You’re still a prince

You’re still the answer to a prayer

And what I see is all I want

You’re everything –

Georgie

You’re everything

Vicki

Anywhere you go, I’ll be there

Georgie

Anywhere I’ll follow you

Vicki

Anything you want, I’ll give you

Georgie

Anything at all

Vicki

Anytime you’re lost

Both

That’s me there, I’m with you

Georgie

Look at me –

Vicki

Look at me, Harold

Georgie

And hold me tight

Vicki

Honey, don’t you understand?

Georgie

You’re like the morning sun to me

But twice as bright

Vicki

I’ll never let you go

Georgie

And what I see is what I get

Both

And it’s everything I want

You rule my world

You rule my world

Georgie

You’re everything I need

LET IT GO

Ethan

Did I capture your imagination?

Did I break you down and make you smile?

It’s a serious little situation

Why don’t we loosen up and dance a while?

Dave

You need a loose-lipped lover

With a heart of honey

Harold

You need a sex cadet when duty calls

Malcolm

Come on show me all your bare-faced beauty

Horse

I wanna see our shadows bouncing off the walls

Ethan, Malcolm, Dave, Horse & Harold

Let it go, let it go, loose up, yeah, let it go

Let it go, let it go, it’s all right

Let it go, let it go, shake it up now, let it go

You just tell me when you think you’re ready

Malcolm

Let the music be the master

Horse

I got a whammy bar on my brown guitar

Dave

You can play me like a stratocaster

Jerry

‘Cause here I am and baby, there you are!

Jerry and Ethan

Well I’m a rocket boy with a touch like silver

Horse & Harold

And I’m crashing through your bedroom door

Jerry, Ethan, Malcolm

And I’m ready like I hope you’re ready

Jerry

Come on I’ll show you mine

If you show me yours

Men

Let it go, let it go, loose up, yeah, let it go

Let it go, let it go, it’s all right

Let it go, let it go, shake it up now, let it go

You just tell me when you think you’re ready

Let it go –

Jerry

Gentlemen – we only live once