SNOOPY:
Here’s the World War One
flying ace high over France in his Sopwith Camel, searching for the
infamous Red Baron. I must bring him down. Suddenly anti-aircraft
fire, archie we used to call it, begins to burst beneath my plane.
The Red Baron has spotted me. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, you can’t hit
me! Actually, tough flying aces never say “nah nah”… I was just…
drat this fog. It’s bad enough to have to fight the Red Baron then to
have to fly in weather like this. Alright Red Baron! Where are you?
You can’t hide from me forever, (Offstage voices sing Ah.) Ah, the
sun has broken through. I can see the woods of Montsec below….
ça va, bonjour! But, what’s that? It’s a Fokker triplane. Ha,
I’ve got you this time, Red Baron. (He make machine gun noises:
rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat) Augh!
He’s diving down out of the sun. He’s tricked me again. I’ve got to
run. Come on Sopwith Camel, let’s go. Go, Camel, go! GO! (Snoopy
sings the Ah.) I can’t shake him. He’s riddling my plane with
bullets. Curse you red Baron! Curse you and your kind. Curse the evil
that causes all
this unhappiness. Here’s the World War One
flying ace back at the aerodrome in France. He is exhausted and yet
he does not sleep, for one thought continues to burn in his mind:
Someday, someday I’ll get you Red Baron.
MY NEW PHILOSOPHY
SALLY:
Oh yeah? That’s what you
think! Oh yeah? That’s what you think! Oh yeah? That’s what you
think! Oh yeah?!? That’s what you think!
SCHROEDER:
What?
SALLY:
That’s my new philosophy:
Oh yeah? That’s what you think!
SCHROEDER:
Well, why are you telling me?
SALLY:
Huh?
SCHROEDER:
Why are you telling me?
SALLY:
Why are you telling me? I like it! That’s a good philosophy! Why are you telling me? Why are you telling me? Why are you telling me?
WHY ARE YOU TELLING
ME?
MY NEW
PHILOSOPHY.
THE TEACHER GAVE A ‘D’ ON
LAST WEEK’S HOMEWORK.
SHE SAID, “MISS SALLY
BROWN,”
“YOUR GRADES ARE GOING
DOWN.”
I COULD HAVE TOLD
HER
SCHROEDER:
YOUR NEW
PHILOSOPHY.
SALLY:
MY NEW
PHILOSOPHY.
<”Miss B.?"
“I’m she.”
“Look, see?”
“A ‘D’?”
“A ‘D’.”
“Well, why are you telling me?”
AND THAT’S MY NEW PHILOSOPHY.
SCHROEDER:
That’s your new philosophy?
SALLY:
Why are you telling me?
MY NEW PHILOSOPHY.
SCHROEDER:
That’s great, Sally, but I have to go practice Chopin’s “Nocturne in B-flat Minor.”
SALLY:
No! I like it! No! That’s a good philosophy. No! No! No!
SCHROEDER:
That’s your new philosophy, huh?
SALLY:
Yes! — I mean no!
JUST LIKE A BUSY
BEE
EACH NEW PHILOSOPHY
CAN FLY FROM TREE TO TREE
AND KEEP ME MOVING.
WHEN LIFE’S A DIZZY MAZE
ON ALTERNATING DAYS
I CHOOSE A DIFFERENT PHRASE.
SCHROEDER:
YOUR NEW PHILOSOPHY.
SALLY:
MY NEW PHILOSOPHY.
SCHROEDER:
SALLY, SOME PHILOSOPHIES
ARE SIMPLE. . .
Man cannot live by breadalone.
SOME PHILOSOPHIES ARE
CLEAR.
SALLY:
Leave your message at the sound of the tone. . .?
BOTH:
SOME PHILOSOPHIES PICK AND CHOOSE
DECIDING WHAT GOES IN IT.
SCHROEDER:
SOME TAKE A LIFETIME —
SALLY:
MINE TAKE A MINUTE.
SCHROEDER:
Sally, anything that takes only a minute can’t be very lasting. For instance, Beethoven
took over two years to complete his brilliant “9th Symphony.”
SALLY:
No!
SCHROEDER:
I can’t stand it!! (he storms off)
SALLY:
I can’t stand it – I like it!
IT’S LIKE A GUARANTEE
MY NEW PHILOSOPHY
AND THINGS ARE SURE TO BE
A WHOLE LOT BRIGHTER.
“Oh yeah… That’s what you think… Why are you telling me?… NO… I can’t stand
it.”
NOW LIFE IS FREE AND EASY.
MUCH MORE PHILOSOPH-EASY
WITH MY BRAND NEW…
LUCY:
(She runs across the stage in a panic, shrieking) Ahhhh! This is the last day! I only have
twenty-four hours left! Help me! Help me! This is the last day! Ahhhh!
SALLY:
Clearly, some philosophies are not for all people.
AND THAT’S MY NEW PHILOSOPHY!
CHARLIE
BROWN:
All right, gang. I
want this game to be our biggest and best game of the season, and I
want everyone out there playing with everything he’s
got…
LUCY:
Charlie Brown, I thought
up some new strategy for you. Why don’t you tell the other team that
we’re going to play them at a certain place, only it isn’t the real
place, and then when they don’t show up, we’ll win by forfeit. Isn’t
that good strategy? I don’t understand these managers who don’t want
to use good strategy.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
The thing we have
to remember is spirit and teamwork. If we all really grit our teeth
and bear down
SCHROEDER:
That other team was trash
talkin’ us Charlie Brown. I got even with them though. I said you
think your so great? Mozart was writing symphonies when he was your
age. That really shut ’em up.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
I bet it did. If we
really grit our teeth and bear down I’m sure we could finish the
season…
LINUS:
Perhaps you shouldn’t be
a playing manager Charlie Brown. Perhaps you should be a bench
manager.
SALLY:
That’s a good idea. You’d
be a great bench manager big brother. You could say “Bench do this”
or “Bench do that.” You could even be in charge of where we put the
bench. When we get to the playing field. you could say, “Let’s put
the bench here” or “Let’s put the bench there.”
CHARLIE
BROWN:
I can’t stand it!
LUCY:
What’s the point of our playing when we know we’re going to lose? If there was even a
million-to-one chance we might win, it would make some sense.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Well, there may not be a million -to-one chance, but I’m sure there’s at least a
billion-to-one chance.
TEAM
CHARLIE
BROWN:
Come on, gimme a “T.”
ALL:
“T”
CHARLIE
BROWN:
Gimme an “E”
ALL:
“E”
CHARLIE
BROWN:
Gimme an “A”
ALL:
“A”
CHARLIE
BROWN:
Gimme a “M”
ALL:
“M”
CHARLIE
BROWN:
What’s that
spell?
ALL:
Team!
THERE IS NO TEAM LIKE THE
BEST TEAM,
WHICH IS OUR TEAM RIGHT HERE.
WE WILL SHOW YOU WE’RE THE BEST TEAM
IN THE VERY LITTLE LEAGUE THIS YEAR.
AND IN NO TIME WE’LL BE BIG TIME,
WITH THE BIG LEAGUE BASEBALL STARS,
FOR ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS WIN JUST ONE MORE GAME
AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP IS OURS.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
Dear Pen Pal,
YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT
HAPPENED TODAY AT THE
BASEBALL GAME
IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE WHAT
HAPPENED TODAY AT THE
BASEBALL GAME
I WAS THE MANAGER,
SCHROEDER WAS CATCHER,
AND ALL OF THE TEAM WAS
THE SAME
AS ALWAYS
BUT SOMEHOW OR OTHER
DISASTER STRUCK
AT THE BASEBALL GAME.
Huddle up!
ALL:
Break!!
LUCY:
I got it!
LINUS:
I got it!
SCHROEDER:
I got it!
SNOOPY:
Woof woof woof (which
sounds like I got it)!
SALLY:
AAHHH (she screams)
LUCY:
(to Charlie Brown)
I thought you had it!
CHARLIE
BROWN:
THREE BALLS, TWO STRIKES,
THE BASES WERE LOADED
WITH TWO MEN
OUT.
I PITCHED MY CURVE, BUT
SOMEHOW HE HIT IT
A GOOD STRONG
CLOUT.
“LUCY,” I HOLLERED, “IT’S
COMIN’ RIGHT TO YA.”
SHE CAUGHT IT AS EASY AS
PIE — THEN DROPPED IT
I DON’T THINK IT’S GOOD
FOR A TEAM’S MORALE
TO SEE THEIR MANAGER
CRY.
SNOOPY HELPED OUT BY
BITING A RUNNER
AND CATCHING THE BALL IN
HIS TEETH.
LINUS CAUGHT FLIES FROM A
THIRD-STORY WINDOW
BY HOLDING HIS BLANKET
BENEATH.
YES, WE HAD FORTITUDE,
NO ONE COULD ARGUE WITH THAT.
AND ONE RUN WOULD WIN US
THE GAME AS I CAME UP TO BAT.
OTHERS:
GO CHARLIE BROWN, CHARLIE BROWN, CHARLIE BROWN
LUCY:
All right, Charlie Brown, we’re all behind you — sort of. I mean this man can’t pitch, he
pitches like my grandmother, Charlie Brown! Now, all you have to do bear down — just bear down. Listen, when you get to first, watch me for my signal — got it Flash?
OTHERS
(quietly in the background):
THERE IS NOT TEAM LIKE THE BEST TEAM,
WHICH IS OUR TEAM RIGHT HERE.
WE WILL SHOW YOU WE’RE THE BEST TEAM
IN THE VERY LITTLE LEAGUE THIS YEAR.
AND IN NO TIME WE’LL BE BIG TIME,
WITH THE BIG LEAGUE BASEBALL STARS,
ALL:
FOR ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS WIN JUST ONE MORE GAME.
LUCY
And the championship is ours!
OTHERS:
(whispering)
Ours, Ours, Ours.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
TWO MEN WERE ON WITH TWO
OUTS
AND ME WITH ONE STRIKE TO
GO.
OTHERS
(whispering):
One strike… One
strike…
CHARLIE
BROWN:
THEN I SAW
HER,
THIS CUTE LITTLE
REDHEADED GIRL I KNOW.
FIRMLY I VOWED I WOULD
WIN IT FOR HER
AND I SHOULDERED THE BAT
AND I SWUNG. . .
ALL:
Awwwww!
CHARLIE
BROWN:
DEAR PEN PAL,
I’M TOLD WHERE YOU LIVE
IS REALLY QUITE FAR.
WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND DIRECTIONS
ON HOW I CAN GET WHERE YOU ARE?
YOUR FRIEND,
CHARLIE BROWN.
SCHROEDER:
I’m sorry to have to say it right to your face, Lucy, but it’s true. You’re a very crabby person. I know your crabbiness has probably become so natural to you that you’re not even aware when you’re being crabby, but it’s true just the same. You’re a very crabby person and you’re crabby to just about everyone you meet. Now I hope you don’t mind my saying this, Lucy, and I hope you’ll take it in the spirit that it’s intended. I think we should all be open to any opportunity to learn more about ourselves. I think Socrates was very right when he said that one of the first rules for anyone in life is “Know thyself.” Well, I guess I’ve said about enough. I hope I haven’t offended you or anything.
LUCY:
Well, what’s Socrates got to do with it anyway, huh? Who was SHE anyway? Did she ever get to be queen, huh! Tell me that, did she ever get to be queen! DID she ever get to be queen? Who WAS Socrates, anyway? “Know thyself,” hmph!
CHARLIE BROWN:
Hey, Snoopy, you want to help me get my arm back in shape? Now, watch
out for this one, it’s a new fast ball.
LUCY:
Excuse me a moment, Charlie Brown, but I was wondering if you’d mind answering a few questions.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Certainly, Lucy.
LUCY:
Well, I’m conducting a survey to enable me to know myself better, and first of all I’d like to ask: on a scale of zero to one hundred, using a standard of fifty as average, seventy-five as above average and ninety as exceptional, where would you rate me with regards to crabbiness?
CHARLIE BROWN:
Well, Lucy, I…
LUCY:
Your ballots need not be signed and all answers will be held in strictest confidence.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Well, still, Lucy, that’s a very difficult question to answer.
LUCY:
You may have a few moments to think it over if you want, or we can come back to that question later.
CHARLIE BROWN:
I think I’d like to come back to it, if you don’t mind.
LUCY:
Certainly. This next question deals with certain character traits you may have observed. Regarding personality, would you say that mine is A forceful, B pleasing, or C objectionable? Would that be A,B, or C? What would your answer be to that, Charlie Brown, A,B, or C, which one would you say, hmm? Charlie Brown, hmm?
CHARLIE BROWN:
Well, I guess I’d have to say forceful, Lucy, but…
LUCY:
“Forceful.” Well, we’ll make a check mark at the letter A then. Now, would you rate my ability to get along with other people as poor, fair, good, or excellent?
CHARLIE BROWN:
I think that depends a lot on what you mean by “get along with other people.”
LUCY:
You know, make friends, sparkle in a crowd, that sort of thing.
CHARLIE BROWN
Do you have a place for abstention?
LUCY:
Certainly, I’ll just put a check mark at “None of the above.” The next question deals with physical appearance. In referring to my beauty, would you say that I was “stunning,” “mysterious,” or “intoxicating”?
CHARLIE BROWN:
Well, gee, I don’t know, Lucy. You look just fine to me.
LUCY:
“Stunning.” All right, Charlie Brown, I think we should get back to that first question. On a scale of zero to one hundred, using a standard of fifty as average, seventy-five as…
CHARLIE BROWN:
I… remember the question Lucy.
LUCY:
Well?
CHARLIE BROWN:
Fifty-one?
LUCY:
Fifty-one is your crabbiness rating for me. Well that about does it. Thank you very much for helping with this survey, Charlie Brown. Your cooperation has been greatly appreciated.
CHARLIE BROWN:
It was a pleasure Lucy, any time. Come on Snoopy.
LUCY:
Oh, just a minute, there is one more question. Would you answer “Yes” or “No” to the question: “Is Lucy Van Pelt the sort of person that you would like to have as president of your club or civic organization?”
CHARLIE BROWN:
Oh, yes, by all means, Lucy.
LUCY:
Yes. Well thank you very much. That about does it, I think. (Charlie
Brown and Snoopy begin to leave. Snoopy stops and make the sound of a bomb dropping and blowing up.) WELL, WHO ASKED YOU! Now let’s see. That’s a fifty-one, “None of the above,” and… Schroeder was right. I can already feel myself being filled with the glow of self-awarness. (SALLY enters.) Oh Sally, I’m conducting a survey and
I wonder if…
SALLY:
A hundred and ten, C, “Poor,” “None of the above,” “No,” and what are you going to do about the dent you made in my bicycle! (Sally stormsoff.)
LUCY:
It’s amazing how fast word of these surveys gets around. (Linus enters.) Oh Linus, I’m glad you’re here. I’m conducting a survey and there are a few questions I’d like to ask you.
LINUS:
Sure, go ahead.
LUCY:
The first question is: on a scale of zero to one hundred, with a standard of fifty as average, seventy-five as above average and ninety as exceptional, where would you rate me with regards to crabbiness?
LINUS:
(He laughs.) You’re my big sister.
LUCY:
That’s not the question.
LINUS:
No, but that’s the answer.
LUCY:
Come on, Linus, answer the question.
LINUS:
Look, Lucy, I know very well that if I give any sort of honest answer to that question you’re going to slug me.
LUCY:
Linus. A survey that is not based on honest answers is like a house that is built on a foundation of sand. Would I be spending my time to conduct this survey if I didn’t expect complete candor in all the responses? I promise not to slug you. Now what number would you give me as your crabbiness rating?
LINUS:
Ninety-five. (She punches him very hard.)
LUCY:
NO decent person could be expected to keep her word with a rating over
ninety.
Now, I add these two columns and that gives me my answer. There, it’s all done. Now, let’s see what we’ve got. It’s true. I’m a crabby person. I’m very crabby person and everybody knows it. I’ve been spreading crabbiness wherever I go. I’m a super crab. It’s a wonder anyone will still talk to me. It’s a wonder I have any friends at all… or even associates. I’ve done nothing but make life miserable for everyone. I’ve done nothing but breed unhappiness and resentment. Where did I go wrong? How could I be so selfish? How could…
LINUS
What’s wrong, Lucy?
LUCY:
Don’t talk to me, Linus. I don’t deserve to be spoken to. I don’t deserve to breathe the air I breathe. I’m no good, Linus. I’m no good.
LINUS:
That’s not true.
LUCY:
Yes it is. I’m no good, and there’s no reason at all why I should go on living on the face of this earth.
LINUS:
Yes there is.
LUCY:
Name one. Just tell me one single reason why I should still deserve
to go on living on this planet.
LINUS:
Well, for one thing, you have a little brother who loves you. (Lucy is silent for a minute and then burst into tears)
Every now and then I say the right thing.
GLEE CLUB REHEARSAL
SCHROEDER:
Of course it’s surprising, but I’m sure Lucy knows now that she can’t
be crabby anymore.
SALLY:
(who is echoing Schroeder)
Anymore.
SCHROEDER:
Where is everybody? I told them to be here.
SALLY:
Told them to be here.
SCHROEDER:
If we don’t rehearse we can’t sing at the assembly tomorrow.
SALLY:
assembly tomorrow.
SCHROEDER:
Charlie Brown!
SALLY:
Charlie Brown!
SCHROEDER:
Linus!
SALLY:
Linus!
SCHROEDER
and SALLY::
Lucy!
LUCY:
Give me back my pencil, you blockhead!!
LINUS:
No! Not until you give me back my crayons!
LUCY:
That is my best pencil! If you don’t give me back my pencil, I’ll
tell Sally what you said about her!
SCHROEDER:
Stop that! We gotta rehearse! You’re late!
SALLY:
What did you say about me, Linus?
LUCY:
He said —
LINUS:
Lucy. . .
SCHROEDER:
Stop that!
CHARLIE
BROWN:
Sorry , I’m late —
SCHROEDER:
There is no time to be sorry!
SALLY:
What did he say ?
SCHROEDER:
Quiet!! Now remember this is a mood piece, we must paint a picture
with music and words… and concentrate! (he blows the pitch
pipe)
ALL:
AHHHH
SCHROEDER:
Remember. . . adagio con brio!
ALL:
OH GIVE ME A HOME
WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM
AND THE DEER AND THE ANTELOPE PLAY. . .
LUCY:
GIVE ME MY PENCIL
ALL:
WHERE SELDOM IS HEARD
A DISCOURAGING WORD
LINUS:
NOT ON YOUR LIFE
ALL:
AND THE SKIES ARE NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY.
SALLY:
IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT YOU TOLD LUCY I’M JUST GOING TO
SCREAM
LUCY:
GIVE ME MY PENCIL YOU BLOCKHEAD!!
ALL:
HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE.
LUCY:
GIVE ME MY PENCIL
LINUS:
No!
ALL:
WHERE THE DEER AND THE ANTELOPE PLAY.
WHERE SELDOM IS HEARD A DISCOURAGING WORD
LINUS:
NOT UNTIL YOU PROMISE NOT TO TELL HER
LUCY:
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? STIFLE MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH?
ALL:
WHERE SELDOM IS HEARD
LUCY:
GIVE ME MY PENCIL!
ALL:
A DISCOURAGING WORD
LINUS:
NO PROMISE NO PENCIL!
ALL:
AND THE SKIES ARE NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY.
SALLY:
(Lucy slips Sally the pencil, and Sally holds it up, teasing Linus)
What pencil? (she laughs)
LINUS:
(Linus grabs the pencil.)
No! Give me that pencil!!
ALL:
OH, GIVE ME A LAND WHERE THE BRIGHT DIAMOND SAND
SCHROEDER:
Sing!!!
ALL:
FLOWS LEISURELY DOWN THE STREAM
CHARLIE BROWN (to Linus):
Why did you take Sally’s pencil?
LINUS:
Aaaaaarrrrrrggg !! (he storms off)
ALL:
THERE THE GRACEFUL, WHITE SWAN GOES GLIDING ALONG
SALLY (to Lucy):
WHAT DID HE CALL ME?
ALL:
LIKE A MAID IN A HEAVENLY DREAM.
LUCY:
HE SAID
HE SAID YOU WERE… AN ENIGMA!
ALL:
HOME,
HOME ON THE RANGE
SALLY:
An enigma?
CHARLIE BROWN :
An enigma?
SNOOPY:
An enigma?
SALLY:
BOY THAT MAKES ME… WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO CALL A… WHAT’S AN
ENIGMA?
Never mind!! (she storms off too)
CHARLIE BROWN, SCHROEDER AND SNOOPY:
WHERE THE DEER AND THE
LUCY:
What’s an enigma?
CHARLIE BROWN, SCHROEDER AND SNOOPY:
ANTELOPE
CHARLIE BROWN:
What’s an enigma?
ALL:
PLAY.
SNOOPY:
What’s an en . . .
LUCY:
Hey !! He’s still got my pencil! (now she storms off)
CHARLIE BROWN AND SCHROEDER:
WHERE SELDOM IS HEARD A DISCOURAGING WORD… (seeing he’s the only
one left, Charlie Brown sneaks away)
SCHROEDER:
AND THE SKIES ARE NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY!
(He turns around and sees only Snoopy is still there)
SNOOPY:
Arrro ooo ooo . . .
(Snoopy gives Schroeder a big smirk and throws him a kiss, and finally Schroeder storms off)
SALLY:
Each family has a chain of command. And do you know who is the lowest
on that chain? Guess? It’s the dog… the dog’s the lowest on that
chain. Do you understand? I said do you understand that? (Long moment
of silence follows)
SNOOPY:
They hate it when you just stare at then like this.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
Hi, Linus. Where are you going?
LINUS:
Lucy teaching me, Charlie Brown. She says a sister is responsible for
the education of her little brother, so she’s teaching me. Boy, is
she intelligent.
LUCY:
Come along Linus.
LITTLE KNOWN FACTS
LUCY:
DO YOU SEE THIS TREE?
IT IS A FIR TREE.
IT’S CALLED A FIR TREE BECAUSE IT GIVES US FUR FOR COATS.
IT ALSO GIVES US WOOL IN THE WINTER TIME.
LINUS:
I never knew that before, Lucy. That’s very interesting.
LUCY:
THIS IS AN ELM TREE.
IT’S VERY LITTLE
BUT IT WILL GROW UP INTO A GIANT TREE…
AN OAK.
YOU CAN TELL HOW OLD IT IS BY COUNTING IT’S LEAVES.
LINUS
Gosh Lucy, that’s fascinating.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Now wait a minute Lucy! I don’t mean to interfere, but…
LUCY:
AND WAY UP THERE THOSE FLUFFY LITTLE WHITE THINGS,
THOSE ARE CLOUDS,
THEY MAKE THE WIND BLOW.
AND WAY DOWN THERE,
THOSE TINY LITTLE BLACK THINGS…
THOSE ARE BUGS
THEY MAKE THE GRASS GROW.
LINUS:
Is that so?
LUCY:
That’s right! They run around all day, tugging and tugging on each
tiny seedling until it grows into a great tall blade of grass!
LINUS:
Boy, that’s amazing!
CHARLIE BROWN:
Oh, good grief!
LUCY:
AND THIS THING HERE,
IT’S CALLED A HYDRANT.
THEY GROW ALL OVER
AND NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW
JUST HOW A LITTLE THING LIKE THAT
GETS SO MUCH WATER.
SEE THAT BIRD?
IT’S CALLED AN EAGLE.
SINCE IT’S LITTLE IT HAS ANOTHER NAME,
A SPARROW.
AND ON CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING
WE EAT THEM.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Lucy, how could you say that? I’m sorry but I can’t stand idly by and listen to…
LUCY:
AND WAY UP THERE,
THE LITTLE STARS AND PLANETS
MAKE THE RAIN THAT OFTEN SHOWERS.
AND WHEN IT’S COLD AND WINTER IS UPON US
THE SNOW COMES UP!
JUST LIKE THE FLOWERS.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Now Lucy, I know that’s wrong! Snow doesn’t come up, it comes down!!
LUCY:
After it comes up, the wind blows it around so it looks like it’s coming down, but actually it comes up out of the ground, just like grass. It comes up, Charlie Brown, snow comes up!
CHARLIE BROWN:
Oh, Good Grief! (He exits, from off stage there is a hollow thumping
sound.)
LINUS:
Why is Charlie Brown banging his head against that tree?
LUCY:
To loosen the bark to make the tree grow faster!
CLOUDS CAN MAKE THE WIND BLOW
BUGS CAN MAKE THE GRASS GROW
SO, THERE YOU GO
THESE ARE LITTLE KNOWN FACTS
THAT NOW
YOU KNOW!
SUPPERTIME
SNOOPY:
My stomach just went off. It’s suppertime, and Charlie Brown has
forgotten to feed me. Here I lie, a withering hollow shell of a dog
and there sits my supper dish … EMPTY! But that’s all right. He’ll
remember. When no furry friend comes to greet him after school, then
he’ll remember! And he’ll rush out here to the doghouse but it’ll be
too late. There will be nothing left but the dried carcass of his
former friend who used to love to run and play so happily with him.
Nothing left but the bleached puppy bones of…
CHARLIE
BROWN:
Hey Snoopy! Are you asleep or something? I’ve been standing here a
whole minute with your supper and you haven’t even noticed. It’s
suppertime..
SNOOPY:
Suppertime? Suppertime?
BEHOLD A BRIMMING BOWL OF MEAT AND MEAL.
WHICH IS BROUGHT FORTH TO EASE OUR HUNGER.
BEHOLD THE FLOWING FLAGON MOIST AND SWEET
WHICH HAS BEEN SENT TO SLAKE OUR THIRST.
CHARLIE BROWN:
Okay there is no need to a big production! Just get down off that doghouse and eat!
SNOOPY:
DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO
DOO DOO
IT’S SUPPERTIME.
YEAH IT’S SUPPERTIME.
OH, IT’S SUP-SUP- SUPPERTIME,
VERY BEST TIME OF DAY.
IT’S SUPPERTIME
YEAH, IT’S SUP-PER-TIME
AND WHEN SUPPER TIME COMES,
CAN SUPPER BE FAR AWAY?
BRING ON THE SOUP DISH, BRING
ON THE CUP.
BRING ON THE BACON AND FILL ME UP!
CAUSE IT’S SUPPER
SUPPER, SUPPER, SUPPERTIME!
(He whistles and then does a
little bit of scat BA DA DA DOO DA BA DA DA BA DA DA)
SUPPERTIME.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
DOOT
BR-R-RING ON THE DOG FOOD,
BRING ON THE BONE
BRING ON THE BARREL AND ROLL ME HOME.
CAUSE ITS SUPPER
SUPPER, SUPPER, SUPPER
SUPPER
SUPER PEPPER-UPPER
SUPPER
SUPER-DUPER SUPPERTIME
WINTERTIME’S NICE WHEN ITS
ICE AND SNOW.
SUMMERTIME’S NICE WITH A PLACE TO GO.
BEDTIME, OVER TIME, HALF TIME TOO
BUT THEY JUST CAN’T HOLD A CANDLE TO. . .
MY SUPPERTIME.
OH YEAH. . . .
Hello home listeners, how are ya?
BR-R-ING ON THE HAMBURG
BRING ON THE BUN
PAPPY’S LITTLE PUPPY LOVES EV’RYONE!
CAUSE IT’S SUPPER
SUPPER SUPPER SUPPER
SUPPER
SUPER PEPPER UPPER
SUPPER
SUPER DUPER SUPPERTIME
SNOOPY:
C’mon, bring on the meat…
It’s time to eat… Bring on the food… Bring on the hamburg…
Bring on the hot dog… Bring on the doctor…
CHORUS:
SUPPERTIME (x 14)
(Suddenly, the off stage
voices stop, and Snoopy is alone singing)
GIMME FOOD, GIMME WATER,
GIMME SOMETHIN’ TO CHEW!
GIMME FOOD, GIMME WATER, GIMME SOMETHIN’ TO DO!
CHARLIE BROWN:
NOW CUT THAT OUT!!!! Now, why can’t you eat your meal quietly and
calmly like any other normal dog?
SNOOPY:
So what’s wrong with making mealtime a joyous occasion?
SUPPER SUPPER SUPPER SUPPERRRRRRRRR-TIME!!!!!
LUCY:
Well, I don’t know, Linus, it looks like an airplane to me the way
the lights are blinking on and off. Schroeder, it that an airplane or
a star?
SCHROEDER:
I believe that is a star. But you know it could be a planet. Or maybe even a satellite.
SALLY:
It could be a satellite. I wonder.
LINUS:
Well, we’ll never find out by just sitting here.
LUCY:
Where are you going?
LINUS:
I’m going over here to get a closer look.
SNOOPY:
I like to sit up here after supper and listen to the sounds of the night. But somehow something seems to be missing. (He lets out a big howl.) In my opinion, that’s exactly what it needed.
CHARLIE BROWN:
I’m so happy! The little red-haired girl dropped her pencil. It has
teeth marks all over it. She nibbles her pencil. She’s human! It
hasn’t been such a bad day after all.
HAPPINESS
CHARLIE BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS FINDING A PENCIL.
SNOOPY:
PIZZA WITH SAUSAGE
LINUS:
TELLING THE TIME.
SCHROEDER:
HAPPINESS IS LEARNING TO WHISTLE.
LINUS:
TYING YOUR SHOE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.
SALLY:
HAPPINESS IS PLAYING THE DRUM IN YOUR OWN SCHOOL BAND.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
AND HAPPINESS IS WALKING HAND IN HAND.
HAPPINESS IS TWO KINDS OF ICE CREAM.
LUCY:
KNOWING A SECRET.
SCHROEDER:
CLIMBING A TREE.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS FIVE DIFFERENT CRAYONS.
SCHROEDER:
CATCHING A FIREFLY.
SETTING HIM FREE.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS BEING ALONE EVERY NOW AND THEN.
ALL:
AND HAPPINESS IS COMING HOME AGAIN.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAY TIME AND NIGHT TIME TOO.
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT’S LOVED BY YOU.
LINUS:
HAPPINESS IS HAVING A SISTER.
LUCY:
SHARING A SANDWICH.
LUCY AND
LINUS:
GETTING ALONG.
ALL:
HAPPINESS IS SINGING TOGETHER WHEN DAY IS THROUGH,
AND HAPPINESS IS THOSE WHO SING WITH YOU.
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAYTIME AND NIGHTTIME TOO.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT’S LOVED BY YOU.
(The cast filters out, waving
“good night” to Charlie Brown, but Lucy stays, and and stands in silence for a moment before finally saying:)
LUCY:
You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.
BOWS
ALL:
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAYTIME AND NIGHTTIME TOO.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT’S LOVED BY YOU.
CHARLIE
BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS ANYONE
HAPPINESS IS ANYTHING (repeated 2 times)
HAPPINESS IS
ANYONE
SNOOPY:
OH, YOU’RE A GOOD MAN (repeated 4 times)
LUCY AND
SCHROEDER:
YOU’RE A GOOD MAN CHARLIE BROWN (repeated 4 times)
YOU’RE A GOOD
MAN…
LINUS AND
SALLY:
HAPPINESS IS A TREE TO CLIMB
SOMEONE LEARNING TO TELL THE TIME
ANYTHING THAT IS LOVED BY YOU
ALL:
CHARLIE BROWN!!