13. THE MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS
The moments of happiness
We had the experience but missed the meaning
And approach to the meaning restores the experience
In a different form beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness
The past experience revived in the meaning
Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations
Not forgetting something that is probably quite ineffable
Moonlight
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin
14. GUS: THE THEATRE CAT
Gus is the cat at the theatre door
His name, as I ought to have told you before
Is really Asparagus, but that’s such a fuss to pronounce
That we usually call him just Gus
His coat’s very shabby, he’s thin as a rake
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake
Yet he was in his youth, quite the smartest of cats
But no longer a terror to mice or to rats
For he isn’t the cat that he was in his prime
Though his name was quite famous, he says, in his time
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)
He loves to regale them, if someone else pays
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days
For he once was a star of the highest degree
He has acted with Irving, he’s acted with Tree
And he likes to relate his success on the halls
Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls
But his greatest creation as he loves to tell
Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
I have played in my time every possible part
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart
I’d extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag
I knew how to act with my back and my tail
With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail
I’d a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts
Whether I took the lead, or in character parts
I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell
When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell
In the pantomime season, I never fell flat
And I once understudied Dick Whittington’s cat
But my grandest creation, as history will tell
Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin
He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat
When some actor suggested the need for a cat
And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained
As we did in the days when Victoria reigned
They never get drilled in a regular troupe
And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop
And he says as he scratches himself with his claws:
Well the theatre is certainly not what is was
These modern productions are all very well
But there’s nothing to equal from what I hear tell
That moment of mystery when I made history
As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
I once crossed the stage on the telegraph wire
To rescue a child when a house was on fire
And I think that I still can much better than most
Produce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghost
And I once played Growltiger
Could do it again, could do it again
Could do it again…
15. “GROWLTIGER’S LAST STAND”
Growltiger was a bravo cat who travelled on a barge
In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large
From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims
Rejoicing in his title of the “Terror of the Thames”
His manners and appearance did not calculate to please
His coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the knees
One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why
And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye
The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame
At Hammersmith and Putney, people shuddered at his name
They would fortify the hen house, lock up the silly goose
When the rumor ran along the shore: Growltiger’s on the loose!
Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage
Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger’s rage
Woe the bristly bandicoot that lurks on foreign ships
And woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips
But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed
To cats of foreign name and race, no quarter was allowed
The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear
Because it was a Siamese that mauled his missing ear
Now on a peaceful summer night all nature seemed at play
The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molsey lay
All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide
And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side
In the forepeak of the vessel, Growltiger stood alone
Concentrating my attention on the lady Griddlebone
And my raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks
As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks
Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone
And the lady, she was enraptured by my manly baritone
Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise
But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes
And closer still and closer the sampans circled ’round
And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound
The foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives
And the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives
In una tepida notte d’estate, allorche la natura
Era nel pieno fulgore, e la resca rugiada
Splendeva al chiar di luna sopra la verzura
Si poteva vedere il galeone ancorato
Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea del naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte che c’e dunque di male
Se in tnata poesia anche il pirata divento sentimentale?
Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea do naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte
Then Genghis gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian hordes
Abandoning their sampans, the chinks they swarmed aboard
Abandoning their sampans, their pullaways, their junks
They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks
Then Griddlebone she gave a screech for she was badly skeered
I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared
She probably escaped with ease I’m sure she was not drowned
But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround
The ruthless foe presssed forward in stubborn rank on rank
Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank
He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop
At the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip, kerflop
Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land
At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the Strand
Rats were roasted whole in Brentford and Victoria Dock
And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok!
These modern productions are all very well
But there’s nothing to equal from what I hear tell
That moment of mystery when I made history…
16. SKIMBLESHANKS: THE RAILWAY CAT
Skimbleshanks the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
There’s a whisper down the line at eleven thirty-nine
When the night mail’s ready to depart
Saying, “Skimble, where is Skimble? Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can’t start!”
All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster’s daughters
Would be searching high and low
Saying “Skimble, where is Skimble? For unless he’s very nimble
Then the night mail just can’t go!”
At eleven forty-two with the signal overdue
And the passengers all frantic to a man
That’s when I would appear and I’d saunter to the rear
I’d been busy in the luggage van!
Then he gave one flash of his glass-green eyes
And the signal went “All clear!”
They’d be off at last for the northern part of the northern hemisphere!
Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge
Of the sleeping car express
From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards
I would supervise them all more or less
Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces
Of the travellers in the first and the third
He established control by a regular patrol
And he’d know at once if anything occurred
He would watch you without winking and he saw what you were thinking
And it’s certain that he didn’t approve
Of hilarity and riot so that folk were very quiet
When Skimble was about and on the move
You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks
He’s a cat that couldn’t be ignored
So nothing went wrong on the northern mail
When Skimbleshanks was aboard
It was very pleasant when they’d found their little den
With their name written up on the door
And the berth was very neat with a newly folded sheet on
And not a speck of dust on the floor
There was every sort of light you could make it dark or bright
And a button you could turn to make a breeze
And a funny little basin you’re supposed to wash your face in
And a crank to shut the window should you sneeze
Then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly
“Do you like your morning tea weak or strong?”
But I was just behind him and was ready to remind him
For Skimble won’t let anything go wrong
When they crept into their cozy berth and pulled the counterpane
They ought to reflect that it was very nice
To know that they wouldn’t be bothered by mice
They can leave all that to the railway cat
The cat of the railway train
Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
In the watches of the night I was always fresh and bright
Every now and then I’d have a cup of tea
With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was busy keeping on the watch
Only stopping here and there to catch a flea
They were fast asleep at Crewe
And so they never knew that I was walking up and down the station
They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carlisle
Where I met the stationmaster with elation
They might see me at Dumfries if I summoned the police
If there was anything they ought to know about
When they got to Gallowgate there they did not have to wait
For Skimbleshanks will help them to get out
And he gives you a wave of his long brown tail
Which says, “I’ll see you again!”
You’ll meet without fail on the midnight mail
The cat of the railway train
You’ll meet without fail on the midnight mail
The cat of the railway train
17. MACAVITY
Macavity!
Macavity’s a mystery cat, he’s called the hidden paw
For he’s a master criminal who can defy the law
He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair
For when they reach the scene of crime Macavity’s not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity
He’s broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime Macavity’s not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity’s not there!
Macavity’s a ginger cat, he’s very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunked in
His brow is deeply lined in thought, his head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake
And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake!
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity
He’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime’s discovered then Macavity’s not there!
He’s outwardly respectable, I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard’s
And when the larder’s looted or the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing or another Peke’s been stifled
Or the greenhouse glass is broken and the trellis past repair
There’s the wonder of the thing Macavity’s not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity
There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an aliby and one or two to spare
What ever time the deed took place Macavity wasn’t there!
And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone
Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations: the Napolean of crime!
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity
He’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime’s discovered then Macavity, Macavity, Macavity, Macavity…
When a crime’s discovered then Macavity’s not there!
18. MR. MISTOFFELEES
You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees! The original conjuring cat
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffelees’ conjuring turn
And we all say
Oh! Well, I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he’s only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it’s gone!
But you find it next week lying on the lawn
[REPEAT]
And we all say
Oh! Well, I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire
And sometimes he’s been heard by the fire
When Ihe was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof of his singular magical powers
And I’ve known the family to call him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
19. MEMORY
Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses wither away
Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day
Now Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle life
Memory, turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Burnt out ends of smokey days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning
Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn’t give in
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
Sunlight, through the trees in the summer
Endless masquerading
Like a flower as the dawn is breaking
The memory is fading
Touch me, it’s so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me you’ll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun
20. THE JOURNEY TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER
(Repeat)
Up up up past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
Up up up past the Jellicle Moon
Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
Up up up past the Jellicle Moon
Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral rang ‘Vivat’
Life to the everlasting cat
21. THE AD-DRESSING OF CATS
You’ve heard of several kinds of cats
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character
You’ve learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You’ve seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and habitat
But how would you address a cat?
So first, your memory I’ll jog
And say: A cat is not a dog
So first, your memory I’ll jog
And say: A cat is not a dog
With cats, some say, one rule is true
Don’t speak ’til you are spoken to
Myself I do not hold with that
I say, you should address a cat
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity
You bow, and taking off your hat, address him in this form “O Cat!”
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Straussburg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
He’s sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name
A cat’s entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there’s how you address a cat
A cat’s entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there’s how you address a cat