1. OVERTURE
2. PROLOGUE: JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
Are you blind when you’re born? Can you see in the dark?
Dare you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne?
Can you say of your bite that it’s worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the wall when you’re walking alone?
Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles would
Jellicles would and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
When you fall on your head do you land on your feet?
Are you tense when you sense there’s a storm in the air?
Can you find your way blind when you’re lost in the street?
Do you know how to go to the heaviside layer?
Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant?
Familiar with candle, with book and with bell?
Were you Wittington’s friend? The pied piper’s assistant?
Have you been a alumnus of heaven and hell?
Are you mean like a minx? Are you lean like a lynx?
Are you keen to be seen when you’re smelling a rat?
Were you there when the Pharoah’s commisioned the Sphinx?
If you were, and you are, you’re a Jellicle cat
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
We can dive through the air like a flying trapeze
We can turn doublr somersaults, bounce on a tire
We can run up a wall, we can swing through the trees
We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Can you sing at one time in more than one key
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss
And can you (as cats do) begin with a ‘C’
That always triumphantly brings down the house?
Jellicle cats are queen of the nights
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from the messiah,
Hallelujah, angelical choir
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
Life to the everlasting cat!
Feline, fearless, faithfull and true
To others who do-what
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle cats sing Jellicle chants
Jellicle old and Jellicles new
Jellicle song and Jellicle dance
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Practical cats, dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats
Oratorical cats, delphicoracle cats
Skeptical cats, dispeptical cats
Romantical cats, pedantical cats
Critical cats, parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
Statistical cats, mystical cats
Political cats, hypocritical cats
Clerical cats, hysterical cats
Cynical cats, rabbinical cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
There’s a man over there with a look of surprise
As much as to say well now, how about that?
Do I actually see with my own very eyes
A man who’s not heard of a Jellicle cat?
What’s a Jellicle cat? What’s a Jellicle cat?
3. THE NAMING OF CATS
The naming of cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat must have three different names
First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as a Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey —
All of them sensible, everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter
Some for the gentleman, some for the dames
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter–
But all of them sensible everyday names
But I tell you a cat needs a name that’s particular
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum’
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum–
Names that never belong to more than one cat
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can recover
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess
When you notice a cat in profound meditation
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is enraged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name
His ineffable, effable, effinineffible
Deep and instructable singular name
Name, name, name, name, name, name
4. THE INVITATION TO THE JELLICLE BALL
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
Jellicle cats come out tonight,
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
Jellicle cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle Ball where we all rejoice
And the Jellicle leader will soon appear
And make what is known as the Jellicle choice
That’s when old Deuteronomy just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle life.
Because laying up there is the heaviside layer
With wonders one Jellicle only will see
Jellicle ask because Jellicles dare
Who will it be?
5. THE OLD GUMBIE CAT
I have a Gumbie cat in my mind, her name is Jennyanydots,
Her coat is of the Tabby kind with tiger stripes and leopard spots
All day she sits beneath the stairs or on the steps or on the mat
She sits and sits and sits and sits and that’s what makes a Gumbie cat
That’s what makes a Gumbie cat
But…
When the days hustle and bustle is done
Then the Gumbie’s work is hardly but begun
And when all the family’s in bed and asleep
She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep
She is deeply concerned of the ways of the mice
Their behavior’s not good and their manners not nice
So when she got them lined up on the matting
She teaches them music, crocheting and tatting
I have a Gumbie cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots,
The curtain cord she likes to wind and tie it into sailor knots
She sits upon the windowsill, or anything that’s smooth and flat
She sits and sits and sits and sits and that’s what makes a Gumbie cat
That’s what makes a Gumbie cat
But..
When the days hustle and bustle is done
Then the Gumbie’s work is hardly but begun
She thinks that the cockroaches need employment
To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment
So she’s formed from that lot of disorderly louts
A troop of well disciplined helpful boy scouts
With a purpose in life and a good deed to do
And she’s even created a beetles tattoo!
For she’s a jolly good fellow!
Thank you my dears
6. THE RUM TUM TUGGER
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
If you offer me pheasant I’d rather have grouse
If you put me in a house I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat I’d rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse the I only want a rat
If you set me on a rat I’d rather chase a mouse
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn’t any need for me to shout it
For he will do as he do do
And there’s no doing anything about it
The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore
When you let me in, then I want to go out
I’m always on the wrong side of every door
And as soon as I’m home, I’d like to get about
I like to lie in the Bureau Drawer
And I make such a fuss if I can’t get out
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn’t any need for you to doubt it
For he will do as he do do
And there’s no doing anything about it
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast
My disobliging ways are a matter of habit
If you offer me fish then I always want a feast
When there isn’t any fish then I won’t eat rabbit
If you offer me cream then I sniff and sneer
For I only like what I find for myself
So you’ll catch me in it right up to my ears
If you put it away on the larder shelf
The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing
The Tum Tum Tugger
Doesn’t care for a cuddle
But I’ll leap upon your lap in the middle of your sewing
For there’s nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
The Tum Tum Tugger doesn’t care for a cuddle
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn’t any need for me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there’s no doing anything abou–t it!
7. GRIZABELLA, THE GLAMOUR CAT
Remark the cat who hesitates toward you
In the light of the door which opens on her like a grin
You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand
And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin
She haunted many a low resort near the grimy road of Tottnham Court
She flitted about the no-man’s land
From “the rising sun” to “the friend at hand”
And the postman sighed as he scratched his head
“You really had thought she ought to be dead”
And who would ever suppose that that was Grizabella the glamour cat
Grizabella the glamour cat, Grizabella the glamour cat
Who would ever suppose that that was Grizabella the glamour cat
8. BUSTOPHER JONES
Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones
In fact, he’s remarkably fat
He doesn’t haunt pubs, he has eight or nine clubs
For he’s the Saint James’s Street cat!
He’s the cat we all greet as he walks down the street
In his coat of fastidious black
No common-place mousers have such well cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back
In the whole of St. James’s the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we’re all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats
My visits are occasional to the senior educational
And it is against the rules
For any one cat to belong both to that
And the joint superior schools
When I’m seen in a hurry there’s probably curry
At the Siamese or at the glutton
When I look full of gloom then I’ve lunched at the tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton
In the whole of St. James’s the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we’re all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats
So much in this way passes Bustopher’s day
At one club or another he’s found
It can be no surprise that under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round
He’s a twenty-five pounder or I am a bounder
And he’s putting on weight every day
But I’m so well preserved because I’ve observed
All my life a routine and I’d say
I am still in my prime, I shall last out my time
That’s the word from this stoutest of cats
It must and it shall be spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white spats
9. MUNGOJERRIE AND RUMPLETEAZER
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats
They had an extensive reputation
Made their home in Victoria Grove
That was merely their center of operation
For they were incurable given to rove
If the area window was found ajar
And the basement looked like a field of war
If a tile or two came loose on the roof
Which presently ceased to be waterproof
If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests
And you couldn’t find one of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the girls
Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls
Then the family would say, “It’s that horrible cat!”
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer
And most of the time they left it at that
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had an unusual gift of gab
They were highly efficient cat burgulars
As well and remarkably smart at a smash and grab
They made their home in Victoria Grove
They had no regular occupation
They were plausible fellows who liked to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation
When the family assembled for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they wouldn’t get thinner on
Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow
“I’m afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
The joint has gone from the oven like that!”
Then the family would say, “It’s that horrible cat!”
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer
And most of the time they left it at that
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way
Of working together
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
They’d go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it might be both?
When you heard a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming
Then the family would say: “Now which was which cat?”
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
And there’s nothing at all to be done about that!
10. OLD DEUTERONOMY
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well of all things can it be really?
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Old Deuteronomy’s lived a long time
He’s a cat who has lived many lives in succession
He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme
A long while before Queen Victoria’s accession
Old Deuteronomy’s buried nine lives
And more I am tempted to say ninety-nine
And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives
And the village is proud of him in his decline
At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy
When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall
The oldest inhabitant croaks
Well of all things can it be really?
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well of all things can it be really?
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well of all things can it be really?
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well of all things can it be really?
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My legs may be tottery, I must go slow
And be careful of Old Deuteronomy
11. THE JELLICLE BALL
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats are rather small
Jellicle cats are merry and bright
And pleasant to hear when we caterwaul
Jellicle cats have cheerful faces
Jellicle cats have bright black eyes
We like to practice our airs and graces
And wait for the jellicle moon to rise
Jellicle cats develop slowly
Jellicle cats are not too big
Jellicle cats are roly poly
We know how to dance a gavotte and a jig
Until the Jellicle moon appears
We make our toilette and take our repose
Jellicles wash behind their ears
Jellicles dry between their toes
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats are of moderate size
Jellicles jump like a jumping jack
Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes
We’re quiet enough in the morning hours
We’re quiet enough in the afternoon
Reserving our terpsichorean powers
To dance by the light of the Jellicle moon
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats (as we said) are small
If it happens to be a stormy night
We will practice a caper or two in the hall
If it happens the sun is shining bright
You would say we had nothing to do at all
We are resting and saving ourselves to be right
For the Jellicle moon and the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
12. GRIZABELLA
You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand
And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin
Silence. Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan
Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning
Memory. All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again