If I Can't Love Her - Beauty and the Beast

BE OUR GUEST

Lumiere:

Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride

and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.

And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a

chair as the dining room proudly presents – your

dinner!

Be our guest!

Put our service to the test

Tie your napkin ’round your neck, cherie

And we provide the rest

Soup du jour

Hot hors d’oeuvres

Why, we only live to serve

Try the grey stuff

Chip:

It’s delicious

Lumiere:

Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes

They can sing

They can dance

After all, Miss, this is France

And a dinner here is never second best

Go on, unfold your menu

Take a glance and then you’ll

Be our guest

Oui, our guest

Be our guest

Lumiere and Chorus:

Beef ragout

Cheese souffle

Pie and pudding “en flambe”

Lumiere:

We’ll prepare and serve with flair

A culinary cabaret!

You’re alone

And you’re scared

But the banquet’s all prepared

No one’s gloomy or complaining

While the flatware’s entertaining

We tell jokes

I do tricks

With my fellow candlesticks

Chorus:

And it’s all in perfect taste

That you can bet

Come on and lift your glass

You’ve won your own free pass

To be out guest

Lumiere:

If you’re stressed

It’s fine dining we suggest

Lumiere and Chorus:

Be our guest!

Get your worries off your chest

Let us say for your entree

We’ve an array; may we suggest:

Try the bread! Try the soup!

When the croutons loop de loop

It’s a treat for any dinner

Don’t belive me? Ask the china

Singing pork! Dancing veal!

What an entertaining meal!

How could anyone be gloomy and depressed?

We’ll make you shout “encore!”

And send us out for more

So, be our guest!

Lumiere:

Be our guest!

Chorus:

Be our guest!

Mrs Potts:

It’s a guest!

Sakes alive, well I’ll be blessed!

Wine’s been poured and thank the Lord

I’ve had the napkins freshly pressed

With dessert

She’ll want tea

And my dear that’s fine with me

While the cups do their soft-shoein’

I’ll be bubbling, I’ll be brewing

I’ll get warm

Piping hot

Heaven’s sakes! Is that a spot?

Clean it up! We want the company impressed

Chorus:

We’ve got a lot to do!

Mrs Potts:

Is it one lump or two?

For you, our guest!

Chorus:

She’s our guest!

Mrs Potts:

She’s our guest!

Chorus:

She’s our guest!

Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!

Lumiere:

Life is so unnerving

For a servant who’s not serving

He’s not whole without a soul to wait upon

Ah, those good old days when we were useful

Suddenly those good old days are gone

Ten years we’ve been rusting

Needing so much more than dusting

Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills

Most days we just lay around the castle

Flabby, fat and lazy

You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

Chorus:

Be our guest

Our command is your request

It’s been years since we’ve had anybody here

And we’re obsessed

With your meal

With your ease

Yes, indeed, we aim to please

While the candlelight’s still glowing

Let us help you

We’ll keep going

Course by course

One by one

‘Til you shout, “Enough! I’m done!”

Then we’ll sing you off to sleep as you digest

Tonight you’ll prop your feet up

But for now, let’s eat up

Be our guest!

Please, be our guest!

IF I CAN’T LOVE HER

Beast:

And in my twisted face

There’s not the slightest trace

Of anything that even hints of kindness

And from my tortured shape

No comfort, no escape

I see, but deep within is utter blindness

Hopeless

As my dream dies

As the time flies

Love a lost illusion

Helpless

Unforgiven

Cold and driven

To this sad conclusion

No beauty could move me

No goodness improve me

No power on earth, if I can’t love her

No passion could reach me

No lesson could teach me

How I could have love her and made her love me too

If I can’t love her, then who?

Long ago I should have seen

All the things I could have been

Careless and unthinking, I moved onward

No pain could be deeper

No life could be cheaper

No point anymore, if I can’t love her

No spirit could win me

No hope left within me

Hope I could have loved her and that she’d set me free

But it’s not to be

If I can’t love her

Let the world be done with me.

SOMETHING THERE

Belle:

There’s something sweet

And almost kind

But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined

But now he’s dear, and so unsure

I wonder why I didn’t see it there before

Mme. De La Grande Bouche:

(Speaking) Come along dearie.
Let’s

get you off those wet things.

Beast:

She glanced this way

I thought I saw

And when we touched she didn’t shudder at my paw

No it can’t be, I’ll just ignore

But then she’s never looked at me that way before

Beast:

Belle, I have something to show you. But first, you

have to close your eyes. It’s a surprise!

Belle:

May I open them?

Beast:

Alright, alright. Now!

Belle:

I can’t believe it! I’ve never seen so many books in my

whole life!

Beast:

You like it?

Belle:

It’s wonderful!

Beast:

It’s yours!

Belle:

New and a bit alarming

Who’d have ever thought that this could be?

True that he’s no Prince Charming

But there’s something in him that I simply didn’t see

Belle:

Oh, this is one of my favorites! It’s “King Arthur.”

Have you ever read it?

Beast:

No.

Belle:

You don’t know what you’re missing. I’d love to read

this again. Wait…you can read this first.

Beast:

No, that’s alright.

Belle:

No, really, you read it

Beast:

Oh, No, you…

Belle:

No, you

Beast:

No! I can’t…

Belle:

You never learn to read?

Beast:

Only a little, and long ago

Belle:

Well, it just so happens that this is the perfect book to

read aloud. Come here, sit by me

Lumiere:

Well, who’d have thought?

Mrs Potts:

Well, bless my soul

Cogsworth:

Well, who’d have known?

Mrs Potts:

Well, who indeed?

Lumiere:

And who’d have guessed they’d come together on their own?

Mrs Potts:

It’s so peculiar. Wait and see

Lumiere and Cogsworth:

We’ll wait and see

All three:

A few days more

There may be something there that wasn’t there before

Cogsworth:

Perhaps there’s something there

That wasn’t there before

Chip:

What?

Mrs Potts:

There may be something there that wasn’t there before

Chip:

What’s there, Mama?

Mrs Potts:

Ssh. I’ll tell you when you’re older. Come along

now. Let’s give them some privacy…

Chip:

Mama?

Mrs Potts:

Yes, Chip

Chip:

Will I ever get to be a boy again?

Mrs Potts:

I hope so

Chip:

When will I know?

Mrs Potts:

Soon. If it’s to be. It will be very soon now.

Come along, son.

Belle:

Knowing now, that this was indeed the legendary sword called

“Excalibur,” Arthur tried to pull it from the stone. He

tried once to no avail. He tried a second time, but still,

he could not pull it out. Then, for the third time, Arthur

drew forth the sword…

Beast:

So that must mean he’s the king!

Belle:

Wait and see

Beast:

I never knew books could do that

Belle:

Do what?

Beast:

Take me away from this place, make me forget for a little

while

Belle:

Forget?

Beast:

Who I…What I am…

Belle:

We have something in common, you know

Beast:

What is that?

Belle:

In the town where I come from, the people think I’m odd

Beast:

You?

Belle:

So, I know how it feels to be…different. And I know how

lonely that can be.

For the third time, Arthur drew forth the sword, and there

arose from the people a great shout. Arthur is king.

Beast:

I told you so…

HUMAN AGAIN

Lumiere:

Ha ha, we, my friends. The day we have waited for

may be at hand!

Mrs. Potts:

Oh, only if that were true, Lumiere!

Lumiere:

Aaah…human again

Mrs. Potts:

Human again

Lumiere:

Yes, think of what that means!

Lumiere:

I’ll be cooking again

Be good-looking again

With a mademoiselle on each arm

When I’m human again

Only human again

Poised and polished and gleaming with charm…

I’ll be courting again

Chic and sporting again

Mrs. Potts:

Which should cause sev’ral husbands alarm!

Chip:

I’ll hop down off the shelf

Lumiere:

And toute suite be myself

Chip:

I can’t wait to be human again

Mme. De La Grande Bouche, Mrs. Potts, Babette:

When we’re human again

Only human again

When we’re knickknacks and whatnots no more

Chip:

Little push, little shove

They coul, whoosh fall in love

Mme. De La Grande Bouche:

Ah, cherie, won’t it all be top-drawer

I’ll wear lipstick and rouge

And I won’t be so huge

Why, I’ll easily fit through that door

I’ll exude savior-faire

I’ll wear gowns! I’ll have hair!

It’s my prayer to be human again

Cogsworth:

When I’m human again

Only human again

When the world once more making sense

I’ll unwind for a change

Lumiere:

Really? That’d be strange!

Cogsworth:

Can I help it if I’m t-t-tense?

In a shack by the sea

I’ll sit back sipping tea

Let my early retirement commence

Far from fool made of wax

I’ll get down to brass tacks and relax

All:

When I’m human again

So sweep the dust from the floor!

Let’s let some light in the room!

I can feel, I can tell

Someone might break the spell

Any day now!

Lumiere/Babette:

Shine up the brass on the door!

Alert the dustpail and the broom!

All:

If all goes as planned

Our time may be at hand

Any day now!

Mrs. Potts, Egg Timer, Whisk:

Open the shutters and let in some air

Mrs. Potts:

Put these here and put those over there

All:

Sweep up the years

Of sadness and tears

And throw them away!

Belle:

When Guenevere heard that Arthur was slain, she went away

to a convent, and no one could make her smile again.
The end.

Beast:

What a beautiful story

Belle:

Oh, I knew you would like it! I would like to ask you

something

Beast:

What’s that?

Belle:

A second chance. Would you have dinner with me tonight?

Beast:

Huh? Me? You? Well, that would be, I mean — Oh, yes!!

All:

When we’re human again

Only human again

When the girl fin’lly sets us all free

Cheeks a-bloomin’ again

We’re assumin’ again

We’ll resume our long lost joie de vie

We’ll be playin’ again

Holiday’ again

And we’re prayin’ it’s A-S-A-P

When we cast off this pall

We’ll stand straight, we’ll walk tall

When we’re all that we were

Thanks to him, thanks to her

Coming closer and closer

And closer and…

We’ll be dancing again!

We’ll be twirling again!

We’ll be whirling around with such ease

When we’re human again

Only human again

We’ll go waltzing those old one-two-threes

We’ll be floating again!

We’ll be gliding again!

Stepping, striding as fine as you please

Like a real human does

I’ll be all that I was

On that glorious morn

When we’re fin’lly reborn

And we’re all of us human again!

MAISON DES LUNES

Gaston:

When a man like me is thwarted

And denied his honeymoon

Lefou:

When the pretty thing he’s courted

Refuses to swoon

Gaston:

Then the time has come for a murky plan

Lefou:

For which he turns to a murky man

All Three:

To find that fiend where better than

At the Maison des Lunes?

Gaston:

You’ll be strapping up an inmate

Lefou:

Very tightly

Gaston:

Very soon

But we won’t bring him in late

Lefou:

Your check-in time’s noon

D’Arque:

How sad Maurice is not too well

Gaston:

Prepare a five-star padded cell!

All Three:

And book him in for a long, long spell

At the Maison des Lunes

Gaston:

Do I make myself entirely clear?

Lefou:

It’s the simplest deal of your whole foul career

Gaston:

Put Maurice away and she’ll be here in moments

Lefou:

In a dreadful state

Gaston:

She’ll capitulate to me

D’Arque:

Oh! Oh! Oh, I love incarceration

I could lock up a platoon

Gaston:

We’ll apply your inclination

To a mad old buffon

Gaston/Lefou:

Then wave one bachelor goodbye

Gaston:

She’ll be my bride

Lefou:

She’d rather die

Than have her daddy ossify

D’Arque:

The time’s opportune

All Three:

So book the church, raise glasses high

To the Maison des Lunes!

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Mrs. Potts:

Tale as old as time

True as it can be

Barely even friends

Then somebody bends

Unexpectedly.

Just a little change

Small to say the least

Both a little scared

Neither one prepared

Beauty and the Beast.

Ever just the same

Ever a surprise

Ever as before

Ever just as sure

As the sun will rise.

Tale as old as time

Tune as old as song

Bittersweet and strange

Finding you can change

Learning you were wrong.

Certain as the sun

Rising in the east

Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Beauty and the Beast.

Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Beauty and the Beast.

Mrs. Potts:

Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It’s past

your bedtime. Good night, love.

IF I CAN’T LOVE HER (REPRISE)

Beast:

No spell has been broken

No words have been spoken

No point anymore if she can’t love me

No hope she would do so

No dream to pursue, so

I looked to myself, despise all the things I see

For I know that she

Cannot set me free

Let the world be done with me.

THE MOB SONG

Belle:

Show me the Beast!

Crowd:

{Scream}

Maurice:

That’s him! That’s him!

Woman:

Is it dangerous?

Belle:

Oh, no. No, he’d never hurt anyone. I know he looks

frightful, but he’s really very gentle and kind.
He’s my

friend.

Gaston:

If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had feelings for

this monster.

Belle:

He’s no monster, Gaston. You are!

Gaston:

She’s as crazy as the old man. She says this creature

is her friend. Well, I’ve hunted wild beasts and I’ve seen

what they can do. The Beast will make off with your children.

Crowd:

{gasp}

Gaston:

He’ll come after them in the night.

Belle:

He will never!

Gaston:

Forget the old man, I say we kill the Beast!

Mob:

Kill him!

Man 1:

We’re not safe until he’s dead

Man 2:

He’ll come stalking us at night

Woman:

Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite

Man 3:

He’ll wreak havoc on our village if we let him wander free

Gaston:

So it’s time to take some action, boys

It’s time to follow me

Through the mist

Through the woods

Through the darkness and the shadows

It’s a nightmare but it’s one exciting ride

Say a prayer

Then we’re there

At the drawbridge of a castle

And there’s something truly terrible inside

It’s a beast

He’s got fangs

Razor sharp ones

Massive paws

Killer claws for the feast

Hear him roar

See him foam

But we’re not coming home

‘Til he’s dead

Good and dead!

Kill the Beast!

Belle:

No! I won’t let you do this!

Gaston:

Try and stop us!

Belle:

Papa, this is all my fault. I have to go back and warn him.

Maurice:

I’m coming with you

Belle:

No!

Maurice:

I lost you once, I won’t lose you again!

Belle:

Then we’d better hurry.

Gaston:

We’ll rid the village of this Beast. Who’s with me?

Mob:

I am! I am! I am!

Mob:

Light your torch

Mount your horse!

Gaston:

Screw your courage to the sticking place!

Mob:

We’re counting on Gaston to lead the way!

Women:

Through a mist

Through a wood

Where within a haunted castle

Something’s lurking that you don’t see ev’ry day!

Mob:

It’s a beast

One as tall as a mountain

We won’t rest

‘Til he’s good and deceased

Sally forth!

Tally ho!

Grab your sword!

Grab your bow!

Praise the Lord and here we go!

We don’t like

What we don’t understand

In fact it scares us

And this monster is mysterious at least

Bring your guns!

Bring your knives!

Save your children and your wives

We’ll save our village and our lives

We’ll kill the Beast!

Gaston:

Cut down a tree, and make it a big one! Take whatever

booty you can find. But remember, the Beast is MINE!

Castleware:

Hearts ablaze

Banners high

We go marching into battle

Unafraid although the danger just increased

Mob:

Raise the flag!

Sing the song!

Here we come, we’re fifty strong

And fifty Frenchmen can’t be wrong

Let’s kill the Beast!

Kill the Beast!

Kill the Beast

Kill the Beast!

TRANSFORMATION

Beast:

You came back

Belle:

If only I’d come here sooner

Beast:

Maybe it’s better this way

Belle:

No! Don’t talk like that. We’re together now. Everything

will be fine

Beast:

At least I get to see you one last time.

Belle:

We are home

We are where we shall be forever

Trust in me

For you know I won’t run away

From today

This is all that I need

And all that I need to say is…

Don’t you know how you’ve changed me

Strange how I fin’lly see

I found home

You’re my home

Stay with me

Belle:

No! No, please! Don’t leave me! I love you.

(After Transformation)

Prince:

Belle, look into my eyes!

Belle, don’t you recognize

The beast within the man

Who’s here before you?

Belle:

It is you!

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (REPRISE)

Belle and Prince:

Two lives have begun now

Two hearts become one now

One passion, one dream

One thing forever true

I love you!

All:

Certain as the sun

Rising in the east

Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Beauty and the Beast.

Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Beauty and the Beast.

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