If I Can’t Love Her – Beauty and the Beast

PROLOGUE

Narrator:

Once upon a time, in a faraway land,

A young Prince lived in a shining castle.

Although he had everything his heart desired,

The Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind.

But then, one winter’s night,

An old beggar woman came to the castle

And offered him a single Rose

In return for shelter from the bitter cold.

Repulsed by her haggard appearance,

The Prince sneered at the gift,

And turned the old woman away.

But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances,

For Beauty is found within.

And when he dismissed her again,

The old woman’s ugliness melted away

To reveal a beautiful Enchantress.

The Prince tried to apologize, but it was too late,

For she had seen that there was no love in his heart.

And as punishment,

She transformed him into a hideous beast,

And placed a powerful spell on the castle,

And all who lived there.

Ashamed of his monstrous form,

The beast concealed himself inside his castle,

With a magic mirror as his only window to the outside

world.

The Rose she had offered,

Was truly an enchanted rose,

Which would bloom for many years.

If he could learn to love another,

And earn her love in return

By the time the last petal fell,

Then the spell would be broken.

If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast

For all time.

As the years passed,

He fell into despair, and lost all hope,

For who could ever learn to love…a Beast?

BELLE

Belle:

Little town

It’s a quiet village

Ev’ry day

Like the one before

Little town

Full of little people

Waking up to say:

Lady:

Bon jour!

Man carrying grain sack:

Bon jour!

Egg man:

Bon jour!

Washer woman:

Bon jour!

Baker:

Bon jour!

Belle:

There goes the baker with his tray, like always

The same old bread and rolls to sell

Ev’ry morning just the same

Since the morning that we came

To this poor provincial town

Baker:

Good Morning, Belle!

Belle:

Good Morning, Monsieur.

Baker:

Where are you off to, today?

Belle:

The bookshop. I just finished the most wonderful

story

About a beanstalk and an ogre and a –

Baker:

That’s nice. Marie!
The baguettes! Hurry

up!

Townsfolk:

Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question

Dazed and distracted, can’t you tell?

Woman:

Never part of any crowd

Man:

‘Cause her head’s up on some cloud

Townsfolk:

No denying she’s a funny girl that Belle

Man I:

Bonjour!

Woman 1:

Good day!

Man 1:

How is your fam’ly?

Woman 2:

Bonjour!

Man 2:

Good day!

Woman 2:

How is your wife?

Woman 3:

I need six eggs!

Woman 4:

That’s too expensive!

Belle:

There must be more than this provincial life!

Bookseller:

Ah, Belle!

Belle:

Good morning, sir. I’ve come to return the book I

borrowed.

Bookseller:

Finished already?

Belle:

Oh, I couldn’t put it down. Have you got anything

new?

Bookseller:

Not since yesterday.

Belle:

That’s all right. I’ll borrow . . . . . this one!

Bookseller:

That one? But you’ve read it twice!

Belle:

Well, it’s my favorite! Far off places, daring

swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise –

Bookseller:

If you like it all that much, it’s yours!

Belle:

But sir!

Bookseller:

I insist.

Belle:

Well, thank you. Thank you very much!

Townsfolk:

Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar

I wonder if she’s feeling well

With a dreamy, far-off look

And her nose stuck in a book

What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle

Belle:

Oh, isn’t this amazing?

It’s my fav’rite part because — you’ll see

Here’s where she meets Prince Charming

But she won’t discover that it’s him ’til chapter three!

Woman:

Now it’s no wonder that her name means “Beauty”

Her looks have got no parallel

Shopkeeper:

But behind that fair facade

I’m afraid she’s rather odd

Man:

Very diff’rent from the rest of us

Townsfolk:

She’s nothing like the rest of us

Yes, diff’rent from the rest of us is Belle!

Lefou:

I got it Gaston! Wow! You didn’t miss a shot, Gaston! You’re

the greatest hunter in the whole world!.

Gaston:

I know.

Lefou:

No beast alive stands a chance against you. — And

no girl, for that matter.

Gaston:

It’s true, LeFou. And I’ve got my sights set on that one.

Lefou:

The inventor’s daughter?

Gaston:

She’s the one – the lucky girl I’m going to marry.

Lefou:

But she’s –

Gaston:

The most beautiful girl in town.

Lefou:

I know, but –

Gaston:

That makes her the best. And don’t I deserve the best?

Lefou:

Of course you do!

Gaston:

Right from the moment when I met her, saw her

I said she’s gorgeous and I fell

Here in town there’s only she

Who is beautiful as me

So I’m making plans to woo and marry Belle

Bimbettes:

Look there he goes

Isn’t he dreamy?

Monsieur Gaston

Oh he’s so cute!

Be still my heart

I’m hardly breathing

He’s such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute!

Woman 1:

Bonjour!

Gaston:

Pardon

Belle:

Good day

Woman 2:

Mais oui!

Woman 3:

You call this bacon?

Woman 4:

What lovely grapes!

Man 1:

Some cheese

Woman 5:

Ten yards!

Man 1:

One pound

Gaston:

‘scuse me!

Cheese merchant:

I’ll get the knife

Gaston:

Please let me through!

Woman 6:

This bread –

Woman 7:

Those fish –

Woman 6:

it’s stale!

Woman 7:

they smell!

Men:

Madame’s mistaken.

Women:

Well, maybe so

Townsfolk:

Good morning! Oh, good morning!

Belle:

There must be more than this provincial life!

Gaston:

Just watch, I’m going to make Belle my wife!

Townsfolk:

Look there she goes

The girl is strange but special

A most peculiar mad’moiselle!

Women:

It’s a pity and a sin

Men:

She doesn’t quite fit in

Townsfolk:

‘Cause she really is a funny girl

A beauty but a funny girl

She really is a funny girl

That Belle!

NO MATTER WHAT

Belle:

Papa, do you think I’m…odd?

Maurice:

My daughter odd? Where did you get an idea like that?

Belle:

I don’t know. It’s just that, well, people talk.

Maurice:

They talk about me, too.

Maurice:

No, we’re not odd, its true

No family could be saner

Except one uncle who…well, maybe let that pass

In all you say or do

You couldn’t make it plainer

You are your mother’s daughter; therefore you are class

Belle:

So I should just accept

I’m simply not like them

Maurice:

They are the common herd

And you can take my word

You are unique: creme de la creme

No matter what you do

I’m on your side

And if my point of view

Is somewhat misty-eyed

There’s nothing clearer in my life

Than what I wish and feel for you

And that’s a lot…

No matter what

Belle:

No matter what they say

You make me proud

I love the funny way

You stand out from the crowd

Maurice:

It’s my intention my invention

Shows the world out there one day

Just what we’ve got…

Both:

No matter what

Maurice:

Now some may say that fathers just exaggerate

Belle:

That ev’ry daughter’s great?

Maurice:

You are!

Belle:

And ev’ry daughter tends to say her father’s tops

Maurice:

She pulls out all the stops

To praise him

Both:

And quite rightly!

Maurice:

No matter what the pain

We’ve come this far

I pray that you remain

Exactly as you are

This really is a case of father knowing best

Belle:

And daughter too!

Maurice:

You’re never strange

Belle:

Don’t ever change

Both:

You’ve all I’ve got

No matter what.

NO MATTER WHAT (REPRISE)<

Maurice:

First prize is nearly mine

It’s quite my best invention

So simple, yet complex

So massive, yet so small

This triumph of design

Will be my old-age pension

That is, provided I can find the fair at all

I must have missed a sign…

I should have paid attention…

(Wolf howls)

That’s not a nightingale, and not a mating call.

ME

Gaston:

You’ve been dreaming, just one dream

Nearly all your life

Hoping, scheming, just one theme:

Will you be a wife?

Will you be some he-man’s property?

Good news! That he-man’s me!

This equation, girl plus man

Doesn’t help just you

On occasion, women can

Have their uses too

Mainly to extend the fam’ly tree

Pumpkin, extend with me!

Gaston:

We’ll be raising sons galore

Belle:

Inconceivable!

Gaston:

Each built six foot four!

Belle:

Unbelievable!

Gaston:

Each stuffed with ev’ry Gaston gene!

Belle:

I’m not hearing this!

Gaston:

You’ll be keeping house with pride!

Belle:

Just incredible!

Gaston:

Each day gratified

Belle:

So unweddable!

Gaston:

That you are a part of this idyllic scene.

Gaston:

(Speaking) Picture this: A rustic hunting lodge,

my latest kill roasting over the fire,

my little wife massaging my feet, while

the little ones play on the floor with

the dogs. We’ll have six or seven!

Belle:

Dogs?

Gaston:

No, Belle! Strapping boys…like me!

Belle:

Imagine that!

Gaston:

I can see that we will share

All that love implies

We shall be a perfect pair

Rather like my thighs

You are face to face with destiny!

All roads lead to…

The best things in life are…

All’s well that ends with me!

Escape me? There’s no way

Certain as “Do, Re,”

Belle, when you marry…

Gaston:

(Speaking) So Belle, what would it be?

Is it “yes”, or is it “oh, yes”?

Belle:

I…I just don’t deserve you!

Gaston:

Who does!

Gaston:

ME!

BELLE (REPRISE)

Belle:

Is he gone? Can you imagine? He asked me to marry him.

Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless . . .

“Madame Gaston!”

Can’t you just see it?

“Madame Gaston!”

His “little wife”

No sir! Not me!

I guarantee it

I want much more than this provincial life!

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere

I want it more than I can tell

And for once it might be grand

To have someone understand

I want so much more than they’ve got planned

HOME

Belle:

Yes, I made the choice

For papa, I will stay

But I don’t deserve to lose my freedom in this way

You monster!

If you think that what you’ve done is right, well then

You’re a fool!

Think again!

Is this home?

Is this where I should learn to be happy?

Never dreamed

That a home could be dark and cold

I was told

Ev’ry day in my childhood:

Even as we grow old

Home will be where the heart is

Never were words so true!

My heart’s far, far away

Home is too

Is this home?

Is this what I must learn to believe in?

Try to find

Something good in this tragic place

Just in case

I should stay here forever

Held in this empty place

Oh, but that won’t be easy

I know the reason why

My heart’s far, far away

Home’s a lie

What I’d give to return

To the life that I knew lately

And to think I complained

Of that dull provincial town

Is this home?

Am I here for a day or forever?

Shut away

From the world until who knows when

Oh, but then

As my life has been altered once

It can change again

Build higher walls around me

Change ev’ry lock and key

Nothing lasts, nothing holds

All of me

My heart’s far, far away

Home and free!

HOME (REPRISE)

Mrs. Potts:

(Speaking) Cheer up child.

It will turn out alright in the end, you’ll see.

Mrs. Potts:

I hope that we’ll be friends

Though I don’t know you well

If anyone can make the most of living here

Then, Belle, it’s you

And who knows?

You may find

Home here, too!

GASTON

Gaston:

Who does she think she is?
That girl has tangled with

the wrong man!
No one says “no” to Gaston!

LeFou:

Darn right.

Gaston:

Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it’s more than I

can bear.

LeFou:

More beer?

Gaston:

What for? Nothing helps. I’m disgraced.

LeFou:

Who, you? Never! Gaston, you’ve got to pull yourself together.

LeFou:

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston

Looking so down in the dumps

Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston

Even when taking your lumps

There’s no man in town as admired as you

You’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy

Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you

And it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as Gaston

No one’s quick as Gaston

No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston’s

For there’s no man in town half as manly

Perfect, a pure paragon!

You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley

And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

LeFou and Chorus:

No one’s been like Gaston

A king pin like Gaston

LeFou:

No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

Gaston:

As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating!

LeFou and Chorus:

My what a guy, that Gaston!

Give five “hurrahs!”

Give twelve “hip-hips!”

LeFou:

Gaston is the best

And the rest is all drips

Chorus:

No one fights like Gaston

Douses lights like Gaston

LeFou:

In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!

Bimbettes:

For there’s no one as burly and brawny

Gaston:

As you see I’ve got biceps to spare

LeFou:

Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny

Gaston:

That’s right!

And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair

Chorus:

No one hits like Gaston

Matches wits like Gaston

LeFou:

In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston

Gaston:

I’m especially good at expectorating!

Ptoooie!

Cronies:

Ten points for Gaston!

Gaston:

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs

Ev’ry morning to help me get large

And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs

So I’m roughly the size of a barge!

Chorus:

Oh, ahhh, wow!

My what a guy, that Gaston!

No one shoots like Gaston

Makes those beauts like Gaston

LeFou:

Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston

Gaston:

I use antlers in all of my decorating!

Cronies:

My what a guy
Gaston!

GASTON (REPRISE)

Gaston:

Crazy old Maurice, hmmm?

Crazy old Maurice…

Gaston:

LeFou, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking

LeFou:

A dangerous pastime

Gaston:

I know.

But that whacky old coot is Belle’s father

And his sanity’s only “so-so”

Now the wheels in my head have been turning

Since I looked at that loony, old man

See, I’ve promised myself I’d be married to Belle

And right now I’m evolving a plan

Gaston:

If I . . . {whisper}

LeFou:

Yes?

Gaston:

Then we . . . {whisper}

LeFou:

No! Would she . . .

Gaston:

{whisper} Guess!

LeFou:

Now I get it!

Both:

Let’s go!

No one plots like Gaston

Gaston:

Takes cheap shots like Gaston

LeFou:

Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston

Gaston:

Yes, I’m endlessly, wildly remorseful

LeFou:

As down to the depths you descend

Gaston:

I won’t even be mildly resourceful

Both:

Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end

Gaston:

Who has brains like Gaston?

LeFou:

Entertains like Gaston?

Both:

Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?

And his marriage we soon will be celebrating

My what a guy

Gaston!

HOW LONG MUST THIS GO ON?

Beast:

How long must this go on?

This cruel trick of fate?

I simply made one careless, wrong decision

And then the witch was gone

And left me in this state

An object of revulsion and derision

Hated…

Is there no one

Who can show me

How to win the world’s forgiveness?

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