4. CAR CHASE

5. AT THE HOUSE ON SUNSET

JOE
What a lovely sight! At the end of the driveway: a great big empty garage.

This thing must burn up ten gallons to a mile.

Christ, where am I?
I had landed
In the garden of some palazzo
Like an abandoned movie set

VOICE
You there!
Why are you so late?

MAX
This way.

JOE
Hey look, buddy, I just pulled my car...

MAX
And wipe your feet!

VOICE
Max! Tell him to wait!

MAX
You heard.
If you need my help with the coffin, call me.

JOE
Hey, wait a minute... Hey, buddy...

NORMA
Any laws against burying him in the garden?

JOE
I wouldn't know.

NORMA
I don't care anyway.

6. SURRENDER

NORMA
No more wars to fight
White flags fly tonight
You are out of danger now
Battlefield is still
Wild poppies on the hill
Peace can only come when you surrender

Here the tracers fly
Lighting up the sky
But I'll fight on to the end
Let them send their armies
I will never bend
I won't see you now 'til I surrender
I'll see you again when I surrender

Now don't you give me a fancy price just because I'm rich.

JOE
Look, lady, you've got the wrong man.
I had some trouble with my car, I just pulled into your driveway.

NORMA
Get out.

JOE
O.K. And I'm sorry you lost your friend.

NORMA
Get out of here.

JOE
Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

NORMA
Or shall I call my servant?

JOE
Aren't you Norma Desmond? You used to be in pictures.
You used to be big.

NORMA
I am big. It's the pictures that got small.

Once upon a time
Not long ago
The head of any studio
Knew how and when to play his aces
Now they put some
Talentless unknown
Beneath their sacred microphone
We didn't need words
We had faces

Yes, they took all the idols and smashed them
The Fairbanks, the Gilberts, the Valentinos
They trampled on what was divine
They threw away the gold of silence
When all they needed was this face of mine

JOE
Hey! Don't blame me, I'm just a writer.

7. WITH ONE LOOK

NORMA
With one look
I can break your heart
With one look
I play every part
I can make your sad heart sing
With one look you'll know
All you need to know

With one smile
I'm the girl next door
Or the love that you've hungered for
When I speak it's with my soul
I can play any role

No words can tell
The stories my eyes tell
Watch me when I frown
You can't write that down
You know I'm right
It's there in black and white
When I look your way
You'll hear what I say

Yes, with one look
I put words to shame
Just one look
Sets the screen aflame
Silent music starts to play
One tear in my eye
Makes the whole world cry

With one look
They'll forgive the past
They'll rejoice: I've returned at last
To my people in the dark
Still out there in the dark...

Silent music starts to play
With one look you'll know
All you need to know

With one look
I'll ignite a blaze
I'll return to my glory days
They'll say Norma's back at last

This time I am staying
I'm staying for good
I'll be back
Where I was born to be
With one look
I'll be me

8. SALOME

NORMA
Now go.

JOE
Next time I'll bring my autograph album.

NORMA
Just a minute, you.
Did you say you were a writer?

JOE
That's what it says on my guild card.

NORMA
And you're written pictures?

JOE
Sure have. Would you like to see my credits?

NORMA
Come over here. I want to ask you something.
Just what sort of length is a movie script these days?

JOE
Depends.

NORMA
I wrote this. It's a very important picture.

JOE
Look like six very important pictures.

NORMA
It's for DeMille to direct.

JOE
Oh, yeah? And will you be in it?

NORMA
Of course. What do you think?

JOE
Just asking. I didn't know you were planning a comeback.

NORMA
I hate that word. It's a return.

JOE
Well...fair enough.

NORMA
I want you to read it.

JOE
You shouldn't let another writer read your stuff. He may steal it.

NORMA
I'm not afraid. Sit down. Max!
Bring something to drink.

MAX
Yes, Madame.

NORMA
I said sit down!
It's about Salome.
Salome: the story of a woman. The woman who was all women.

Salome, what a woman, what a part!
Innocent body and a sinful heart
Inflaming Herod's lust
But secretly loving a holy man
No one could play her like I can

JOE
Well, I had nothing urgent coming up
I thought I might as well skim it
It's fun to see how bad bad writing can be
This promised to go to the limit

NORMA
There's so many great scenes, I can't wait
A boiling cauldron of love and hate
She toys with Herod
'Til he's putty in her hands
He reels tormented through the desert sands

JOE
It sure was a real cheery set-up
The wind wheezing through that organ
Max shuffling around and a dead ape dumped on a shelf
And her staring like a gorgon

NORMA
They drag the Baptist up from the jails
She dances the dance of the seven veils
Herod says: I'll give you anything

JOE
Now it was time for some comedy relief
The guy with the baby casket
Must have seen a thing or two, that chimp
Shame it was too late to ask it

NORMA
Have you got to the scene where asks for his head?
If she can't have him living
She'll take him dead
They bring in his head on a silver tray
She kisses his mouth. It's a great screenplay!

JOE
It got to be eleven, I was feeling ill
What the hell was I doing?
Melodrama and sweet champagne
And a garbled plot from a scrambled brain
But I had my own plot brewing

Just how old is Salome?

NORMA
Sixteen.

JOE
I see.

NORMA
Well?

JOE
It's fascinating.

NORMA
Of course it is.

JOE
Could be it's a little long
Maybe the opening's wrong
But it's extremely good for a beginner

NORMA
No, it's a perfect start
I wrote that with my heart
The river-bank, the baptist and the sinner

JOE
Shouldn't there be some dialogue?

NORMA
I can say anything I want with my eyes

JOE
It could use a few cuts

NORMA
I will not have it butchered!

JOE
I'm not talking limb from limb
I just mean a little trim
All you need is someone who can edit

NORMA
I want someone with a knack
Not just any studio hack
And don't think for a moment I'd share credit!

When were you born?

JOE
December 21st, why?

NORMA
I like Sagittarians. You can trust them.

JOE
Thanks.

NORMA
I want you to do this work.

JOE
Me? Gee, I don't know, I'm busy. I just finished one script and I'm about to start a new assignment.

NORMA
I don't care.

JOE
I'm pretty expensive. I get five hundred a week.

NORMA
Don't you worry about money. I'll make it worth your while.

JOE
Well, it's getting kind of late.

NORMA
Are you married, Mr...?

JOE
The name is Gillis. Single.

NORMA
Where do you live?

JOE
Hollywood. Alto Nido Apartments.

NORMA
You'll stay here.

JOE
I'll come back early tomorrow.

NORMA
Nonsense, there's a room over the garage. Max will take you there. Max!

MAX
Yes, Madame.

NORMA
Take Mr. Gillis to the guest room.
We'll begin a nine sharp.

JOE
Now this is more like it.

MAX
I made up the bed this afternoon.

JOE
Thanks.
How did you know I was going to stay?

MAX
There's soap and a toothbrush in the bathroom.

JOE
She's quite a character, isn't she, that Norma Desmond?

9. THE GREATEST STAR OF ALL

MAX
Once, you won't remember
If you said Hollywood, hers was the face you'd think of
Her face on every billboard
In just a single week, she's get ten thousand letters

Men would offer
Fortunes for a bloom from her corsage
Or a few strands of her hair

Today, she's half-forgotten
But it's the pictures that got small
She is the greatest star of all

Then, you can't imagine
How fans would sacrifice themselves to touch her shadow
There was a maharajah
Who hanged himself with one of her discarded stockings

She's immortal
Caught inside that flickering light beam
Is a youth which cannot fade

Madame's a living legend;
I've seen so many idols fall
She is the greatest star of all

JOE (V.O.)
When he'd gone, I stook looking out the window for a while. There was the ghost of a tennis court with faded markings and a sagging net. There was an empty pool where Clara Bows and Fatty Arbuckle must have swum 10,000 midnights ago. And then there was something else: the chimp's last rites, as if she were laying a child to rest. Was her life really as empty as that?

10. EVERY MOVIE'S A CIRCUS (Reprise)

ALL
Every movie's a circus
On the wire without a net

JOANNA
Coffee?

MYRON
I'm up too early
Shooting at seven
I gotta go

ALL
Movies

BOY
What's wrong?

GIRL
Can't get a screen test
Don't you hate it
When a yes-man says no?

ALL
Movies

GIRL
Good part?

BOY
I'm a policeman
"Hands up, punk!"
That's all I say

ACTOR
First time you've worked on the lot there

ACTRESS
I must say R.K.O. are O.K.

ALL
Movies

BOY
Then what?

GIRL
He pressed a button
Out of the wall
Fell a four-poster bed

ALL
Movies

MYRON
Busy?

JOANNA
They shot my screenplay

MYRON
Isn't that great?

JOANNA
No, they shot the thing dead

ALL
Every movie's a circus
On the wire without a net

BOY
Lonely?

GIRL
That's how I like it.

BOY
Can't you be nice?

GIRL
Why? We're not on the set.

ALL
Movies

ARTIE
Hey, Joe
What are you, slumming?

JOE
Here for a meeting

ARTIE
This time of night?

ALL
Movies

JOE
Yeah, it's some studio smartass
You know I'm famous for being polite

ALL
Movies

ARTIE
Guess what?
I'm getting married

JOE
Congratulations

ARTIE
She'll be right back

ALL
Movies

ARTIE
Fact is, we were just leaving
She's been stood up by some uppity hack

ALL
Movies

JOE
Married. Who would have thought it?
Why don't you look happy?
Come on, be brave

ALL
Movies

ARTIE
It's this movie I'm shooting

JOE
You first assistant?

ARTIE
More like a slave

ALL
Every movie's a circus

ARTIE
But this is a circus movie as well
Problems, nothing but problems
Animals, actors
Two kinds of hell

ALL
Every movie's a circus
On the wire without a net

BETTY
Well hello, Mr. Gillis

ARTIE
You two have met?

JOE
I'm the uppity hack

ARTIE
And she's the studio smartass

BETTY
What's going on here?

BARMAN
Artie, they're calling you back.

BETTY
I just reread "Blind Windows"
It needs some real re-working, of course
If we fixed up the opening

ARTIE
Call up the wrangler
Pay off the horse

11. GIRL MEETS BOY

JOE
Girl meets boy
That's a safe beginning

BETTY
It's nearly closing
I thought you weren't going to show

JOE
So did I
I felt it might be kinder

BETTY
What are you saying?

JOE
Come on, Miss Schaefer, you know

BETTY
What?

JOE
Every time I see some young kid
Dreaming they'll produce a masterpiece
I just want to throw them on the next train home

BETTY
Never thought
You'd be so condescending

JOE
Sorry, Miss Schaefer
I didn't come here to fight

BETTY
Girl meets boy
If that's how you want it
She's a young teacher
He's a reporter
It's hate at first sight

JOE
It won't sell
These days they want glamour
Fabulous heiress meets handsome Hollywood heel
The problem is
She thinks he's a burglar
Would you believe it?
A wedding in the last reel

BETTY
It doesn't have to be so mindless
You should write from your experience
Give us something really moving;
Something true

JOE
Who wants true?
Who the hell wants moving?
Moving means starving
And true means holes in your shoe

BETTY
No, you're wrong
They still make good pictures
Stick to your story
It's a good story

JOE
O.K., Miss Schaefer:
I give it to you

BETTY
What do you mean?

JOE
Just what I said. I've given up writing myself. So you write it.

BETTY
Oh, I'm not good enough to do it on my own.
But I thought we could write it together.

JOE
I can't. I'm all tied up.

BETTY
Couldn't we work evenings? Six o'clock in the morning? I'd come to your place.

JOE
Look, Betty, it can't be done. It's out.
Let's keep in touch through Artie.
That way if you get stuck, we can at least talk.

Write this down
I'll give you some ground rules
Plenty of conflict
But nice guys don't break the law
Girl meets boy
She gives herself completely
And though she loves him

JOE/BETTY
She keeps one foot on the floor

BETTY
No one dies except the best friend
No one ever mentions communists
No one takes a black friend to a restaurant

JOE
Very good.
Nothing I can teach you.
We could have had fun
Fighting the studio

BETTY
Yes, Mr. Gillis
That's just what I want.

ARTIE
What a nightmare
Good to see you
Come to my new year's party

JOE
Last year it got out of hand

ARTIE
Guaranteed bad behaviour

JOE
See you then

BETTY
Don't give up
You're too good

JOE
Thanks.