Act One

1. WILLKOMMEN

EMCEE:

Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, étranger, stranger
Glücklich zu sehen, je suis enchanté
Happy to see you, bliebe, reste, stay.

Willkomen, bienvenue, welcome
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret

Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs
Ladies and Gentlement! Guten Abend, bon soir, good evening!
Wie geht's? Comment ça va? Do you feel good?
(I bet you do!)
Ich bin euer Conférencier; je suis votre compčre...
I am your host!

Und sagen
Willkomen, bienvenue, welcome
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret!

Leave your troubles outside!
So - life is disappointing? Forget it!
We have no troubles here! Here, life is beautiful...
The girls are beautiful...
Even the orchestra is beautiful!

You see? I told you the orchestra was beautiful.
And now, presenting the Cabaret Girls!
Rosie! (Rosie is so called because of the color of her cheeks.)
Lulu! (Oh, you like Lulu? Well, too bad! So does Rosie.)
Frenchie! (You know, I like to order Frenchie on the side. On your side, Frenchie! Just kidding.)
Texas! (Yes, Texas is from America! But she's a very cunning linguist.)
Fritzie! (Oh, Fritzie, please, will you stop that! Already this week we have lost two waiters, a table and three bottles of champagne up there.)
And Helga! (Helga is the baby. I'm like a father to her. So when she's bad, I spank her. And she's very, very, very, very, very bad.)
Rosie, Lulu, Frenchie, Texas, Fritzie und Helga.
Each and every one a virgin! You don't believe me?
Well, don't take my word for it. Go ahead - try Helga!

Outside it is winter. But in here it's so hot.
Every night we have to battle with the girls to keep them from taking off all of their clothings.
So don't go away. Who knows? Tonight we may lose the battle!

Wir sagen
Willkomen, bienvenue, welcome
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret!

We are here to serve you!
And now presenting the Cabaret Boys:
Here they are!
Bobby! Victor!
Or is it Victor! and Bobby...
You know, there's really only one way to tell the difference...
I'll show you later.
Hands. (Oh Hans, go easy on the sauerkraut!)
Herman (You know the funny thing about Herman? There's nothing funny about Herman)
And finally, the toast of Mayfair, Fräulein Sally Bowles!

Hello, darlings!

Bliebe, reste, stay!

Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome

That's Victor.

Im Cabaret, au Cabaret
Wir sagen
Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, étranger, stranger

Hello, stranger!

Glücklich zu sehen, je suis enchanté

Enchanté, Madame

Happy to see you
bliebe, reste, stay.

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, étranger, stranger
Glücklich zu sehen, je suis enchanté
Happy to see you
Bliebe, reste, stay
Wir sagen
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret!

Thank you!
Bobby, Victor, Hans, Herman, Rosie, Lulu, Frenchie, Texas, Fritzie, Helga, Sally and Me!
Welcome to the Kit Kat Klub!!

2. SO WHAT

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER

You say fifty marks. I say one hundred marks
A difference of fifty marks -
Why should that stand in our way?
As long as the room's to let
The fifty that I will get
If fifty more than I had yesterday

When you're as old as I
Is anyone as old as I?...
What difference does it make?
An offer comes, you take

For the sun will rise
And the moon will set
And you learn how to settle
For what you get
It will all go on if we're here or not
So who cares? So what?
So who cares? So what?

When I was a girl,
My summers were spent by the sea
So what?
And I had a maid
Doing all of the houseworks, not me
So what?
Now I scrub up the floors
And I wash down the walls
And I empty the chamber pot
If it ended that way
Then it ended that way
And I shrug and I say:
So what?

For the sun will rise
And the moon will set
And you learn how to settle
For what you get
It will all go on if we're here or not
So who cares? So what?
So who cares? So what?

When I had a man
My figure was dumpy and fat
So what?
Through all of our years
He was so disappointed in that
So what?
Now I have what he missed
And my figure is trim
But he lies in a churchyard plot
If it wasn't to be
That he ever would see
The uncorseted me
So what?

For the sun will rise
And the moon will set
And you learn how to settle
For what you get
It will all go on if we're here or not
So who cares? So what?
So who cares? So what?

So once I was rich
And now all my fortune is gone
So what?
And love disappeared
And only the memory lives on
And so what what?

If I've lived through all that
(And I've lived through all that)
Fifty marks doesn't mean a lot
If I like that you're here
(And I like that you're here)
Happy New Year, my dear
So what?

For the sun will rise
And the moon will set
And you learn how to settle
For what you get
It will all go on if we're here or not
So who cares? So what?
So who cares? So what?

It all goes on
So who cares? Who cares?
Who cares? So what?!

3. DON'T TELL MAMA

EMCEE:

And now, meine Damen und Herren
Mesdames et Messieurs...Ladies and Gentlemen -
The Kit Kat Club is proud to present a most talented young lady from England.
Yes - England! I give you -
and don't forget to give her back when you're finished with her -
the toast of Mayfair...Fräulein Sally Bowles!

Mama
Thinks I'm living in a convent
A secluded little convent
In the southern part of France

Mama
Doesn't even have an inkling
That I'm working in a nightclub
In a pair of lacy pants
So please, sir
If you run into my mama
Don't reveal my indiscretion
Give a working girl a chance

Hush up
Don't tell Mama
Shush up
Don't tell Mama...
Don't tell Mama
Whatever you do
If you had a secret
You bet I would keep it
I would never tell on you
I'm breaking every promise that I gave her
So won't you kindly do a girl a great, big favour?
And please, my sweet patater
Keep this from the mater
Though my dance is not against the law
You can tell my papa, that's all right
'Cause he comes in here every night
But don't tell Mama what you saw!

Mama
Thinks I'm on a tour of Europe
With a couple of my school chums
And a lady chaperone
Mama
Doesn't even have an inkling
That I left them all in Antwerp
And I'm touring on my own
So please, sir
If you run into my mama
Don't reveal my indiscretion

Just leave well enough alone

Hush up

Don't tell Mama

Shush up

Don't tell Mama
Don't tell Mama
Whatever you do

If you had a secret
You bet I would keep it

I would never tell on you
You wouldn't want to get me in a pickle

And have her go and cut me off without a nickel

So let's trust on another
Keep this from my mother
Though I'm still as pure as mountain snow

You can tell my uncle
Here and now
'Cause he's my agent anyhow

But don't tell Mama what you know

You can tell my grandma
Suits me fine
Just yesterday she joined the line

But don't tell Mama what you know

You can tell my brother
That ain't grim
'Cause if he squeals on me
I'll squeal on him

But don't tell Mama, bitte
Don't tell Mama, please sir
Don't tell Mama what you know

Sssshh!
Sssshh!

If you see my mummy, mum's the word!

Sally Bowles! Thank you, Sally! Isn't she beautiful!!
and she's from England! And thank you Rosie, Lulu, Frenchie, Texas, Fritzie, and Helga!

4. MEIN HERR

EMCEE:

Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs,
Ladies and Gentlemen: it is almost midnight!
Husbands - you have only ten seconds in which to lose your wives!
Five - four- three - two - one!
Happy New Year!

You have to understand the way I am, mein herr
A tiger is a tiger, not a lamb, mein herr
You'll never turn the vinegar to jam, mein herr
So I do...what I do...
When I'm through...then I'm through...
And I'm through...toodle-oo!

Bye-bye, mein lieber herr
Farewell, mein lieber herr
It was a fine affair, but now it's over
And though I used to care
I need the open air
You're better off without me, mein herr

Don't dab your eye, mein herr
Or wonder why, mein herr
I've always said that I was a rover
You mustn't knit your brow
You should have known by now
You'd every cause to doubt me, mein herr

The continent of Europe is so wide, mein herr
Not only up and down, but side to side, mein herr
I couldn't ever cross it if I tried, mein herr
So I do...what I can...
Inch by inch...step by step...
Mile by mile...man by man

Bye-bye, mein lieber herr
Farewell, mein lieber herr
It was a fine affair, but now it's over
And though I used to care
I need the open air
You're better off without me, mein herr

Don't dab your eye, mein herr
Or wonder why, mein herr
I've always said that I was a rover
You mustn't knit your brow
You should have known by now
You'd every cause to doubt me, mein herr

Bye-bye mein lieber herr,
Auf wiedersehen, mein herr
Es war sehr gut, mein herr und vorbei
Du kennst mich wohl, mein herr
Ach, lebe wohl, mein herr
Du sollst mich nicht mehr sehen, mein herr

SALLY AND THE GIRLS:

Bye-bye, mein lieber herr
Farewell, mein lieber herr
It was a fine affair, but now it's over
And though I used to care
I need the open air

EMCEE:

The final performance of Sally Bowles!
Thank you, Sally. Bye-bye!

5. PERFECTLY MARVELOUS

SALLY:

I think people are people, I really do, Cliff. Don't you?
I don't think people should have to explain anything.
For example, if I should paint my fingernails green
and it just so happens I do paint them green,
well, if anyone should ask me why, I say, "I think it's pretty!"
("I think it's pretty," I reply).
So if anyone should ask about you and me, you have two alternatives:
you can either say, "Oh yes, it's true. We're living in delicious sin."
Or you can simply tell the truth, and say:

I met this perfectly marvelous girl
In this perfectly wonderful place
As I liften a glass to the start of a marvelous year
Before I knew it she called on the phone inviting
Next moment I was no longer alone, but sat reciting
Some perfectly beautiful verse
In my charming American style
How I dazzled her senses
Was truly no less than a crime

Now I've this perfectly marvelous girl
In my perfectly beautiful room
And we're living together
And having a marvelous time

Sally, I'm afraid this wouldn't work out.
You're much too distracting.

Distracting? No, inspiring!

She tells me perfectly marvelous tales
Of her thrillingly scandalous life
Which I'll probably use as a chapter or two in my book
And since my stay in Berlin was to force creation
What luck to fall on a fabulous source of stimulation

And perfectly marvelous too
Is her perfect agreement to be
Just as still as mouse when I'm giving my novel a whirl
Yes, I've a highly agreeable life
In my perfectly beautiful room
With my nearly invisible, perfectly marvelous girl

Sally - I just can't afford ... do you have any money?

A few marks...six!

Oh, God!

Oh please, Cliff - just for a day or two? Please!

I ... met... this ...
truly remarkable girl
In this really incredible town
And she skillfully managed to talk her way into my room

Oh, Cliff!

I have a terrible feeling I've said a dumb thing
Besides I've only got one narrow bed

We'll think of something

6. TWO LADIES

EMCEE:

So you see, everybody in Berlin has a perfectly marvelous roommate. Some people have two people.

Beedle dee, deedle dee, dee!

Beedle dee, deedle dee, dee!

Beedle dee, deedle dee, beedle dee, deedle dee, dee!

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

Two ladies.

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

Two ladies.

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

And I'm the only man, ja!

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

I like it

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

They like it

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

This two for one.
Beedle dee, dee dee dee...

Two ladies

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

Two ladies

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

Und he's the only man

Ja!

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

He likes it.

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

We like it.

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

This two for one.

I do the cooking...

Und I make the bed.

I go out daily
To earn our daily bread
But we've one thing in common.

He...

She...

Und me

The key

Beedle dee, dee.

The key

Beedle dee, dee. The key

Beedle dee, deedle dee, deedle dee, dee!

Ooh! Aah! Ooh! Ahh!

We switch partners daily
To play as we please

Twosies beats onesies

But nothing beats threes.
I sleep in the middle

I'm left

Und I'm right

But there's room on the bottom
If you drop in some night.

Beedle dee, dee dee dee...

Two ladies.
Beedle dee, dee dee dee...

Two ladies.
Beedle dee, dee dee dee.
And he's the only man

Ja!
Beedle dee, dee dee dee...

I like it

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

They like it!

Beedle dee, dee dee dee.

This two for one
Beedle dee, deedle dee, deedle dee
Deedle dee, dee!

Thank you! Lulu! Bobby! And Me!
Oh, I'm so hot now!
Come, my Lieblings, upstairs!